


fight so dirty (but you love so sweet)

by daegushobi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Crippling Self Doubt, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Mafia AU, NCT Mafia, Power Bottom Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Shameless Smut, Street Racing, Top Seo Youngho | Johnny, cars! guns! excitement!, fight scenes with an undertone of sexual tension, more than a few instances of overwhelming emotions, several Bad Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2020-10-20 03:55:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 85,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20668898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daegushobi/pseuds/daegushobi
Summary: ten chittaphon leechaiyapornkul's only job was to infiltrate and dismantle.there was nothing to be said about falling in love in the process.





	1. part I: the collision

**Author's Note:**

> okay. so. i've had this idea in the works for several months. it's practically my baby at this point. i can't express in words how excited i am to finally be able to write this fucking thing.
> 
> with that being said, i got heaps of my inspiration from regular, as well as [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz2InSWI1HY) edit on youtube (which is a fucking work of art)
> 
> you can find the spotify playlist for this fic [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1ciNEX5YTuwwlsROuz0BrG); it's full of sad bops.
> 
> (also i'm sure all of y'all know this but one of yukhei's nicknames is 'xuxi' which ten calls him a LOT in this, so if you're confused yukhei=xuxi)

**shanghai, china**

**8:06 pm**

it only took three hours and forty-three minutes after the news broke until ten was booked and boarded on a flight from shanghai straight to incheon international airport.

he got the call from kun not long after he sat down in front of the tv, finding the late-night news channel to listen in to the news coming in from seoul.

"this evening at 7:54 pm the alleged reports of the esteemed founder of seo industries' death were confirmed by multiple sources. survived only by his 24-year-old son, john seo, he passed away in the hospital, surrounded by family after a two year-long battle against cancer in his liver..."

ten muted the tv with a click, worrying at his bottom lip as he contemplated all that this would mean.

before he could so much as speculate, his phone buzzed on the glass table, rattling the things around it.

without a glance at the caller id, ten brought it to his ear.

"kun. what's the plan?"

"hello to you too, ten. for right now, we're starting with a flight for you and yukhei straight to seoul."

kun's voice was quiet and brisk; his professional tone. he never dropped it so long as he was on a call.

"how soon?" ten responded. "i can be ready in an hour."

"make it thirty minutes," kun corrected, "i've already got you two booked for a flight that leaves at 11:30, so i need you both at the airport by 8:45, just to ensure you catch it." 

ten rolled his eyes, hard enough he was sure kun could hear it through the phone.

"why can't we just take one of your jets?"

there was a sigh on the other line.

"i don't have enough time to pull the strings i need in able to get a private plane into korean airspace with no questions asked, ten," kun explained slowly, as if talking to a child, "sometimes, things don't work out the way we'd like them to."

the last part had ten smirking, "yeah, yeah. i'm not five, kun."

"that's kun-_ge _ to you, chittaphon. and you could've fooled me."

"whatever," ten dismissed him, "what do we do when we get there?"

"i'll text you the rest of the information when you land. just be on the lookout - seo's men could be anywhere."

ten nodded, although kun couldn't see.

"you got it."

ten made to end the call, but kun's voice quickly drew him back.

"oh, and ten?"

"what?"

"don't do anything stupid."

that made him smile wide.

"i never do."

without a response, the call ended, and ten tossed his phone to the couch with a chuckle.

the living room of his high-rise was now illuminated by a large picture of the late mr.seo's successor on the news channel.

deep brown hair, thick lips, a bright smile and skin to match it.

ten narrowed his eyes at the tv.

"i'll be seeing you soon, mr. seo."

**seoul, south korea**

**3:24 am**

"well," yukhei spoke quietly, setting his suitcases down, "it's no hong kong, but this is..." he whistled appreciatively in place of his next words.

"... nice," ten finished for him, eyebrows raised as he took in the space and elegance of the apartment they had been given directions to.

kun sure did know how to work on a short notice.

ten made a mental reminder to thank kun later, when he wasn't feeling completely sleep-deprived.

that being said, he immediately started tugging his suitcases down the hallway towards the master bedroom, eager to collapse into bed.

kun's instructions once they landed had come in the form of a simple text:

_ go to this address. get well-rested. i'll call in the afternoon with more info. _

simple enough.

yukhei whined over ten getting the master bedroom, but quickly succumbed to taking the guest bedroom as they both had en-suite bathrooms, and that was supposedly enough for him.

the younger man's mind was a wonder to ten, but he wouldn't have had it any other way. yukhei was one of the best partners he could have ever asked for.

reliable, quick, and fearless in the fighting ring, wong yukhei was quite possibly one of the most skilled fighters he had ever met in all his years of working under kun's dominion.

however, that same fighter was currently snoring so loudly that ten could hear it through his own closed door, and ten was quite possibly weighing the pros and cons of smothering his partner in his sleep.

sadly, the cons outweighed the pros, and ten (who would rather not suffer at the hands of qian kun, thank you very much) settled for covering his ears with his pillow until his exhaustion eventually took him over and carried him to sleep.

ten woke up disoriented and groggy, squinting at the brightness of the walls around him.

sunight streamed through the wall of windows to his right at an angle, bathing the room in a gold-ish sort of glow.

ten took a few seconds to process his surroundings before promptly burying his head back in his pillow with a soft whine.

he didn't care how long he had been asleep for, he figured he deserved a good five more hours before even _ thinking _ about getting out of bed.

unfortunately, his partner-turned-roommate seemed to think otherwise.

ten hadn't closed his eyes for even ten seconds before his name was being called down the hallway to his room.

"ten! ten-_g__e! _"

and when there was so response-

"lee yong-qin!"

ten squeezed his eyes shut and burrowed further in his sheets, praying for yukhei to give up and go about whatever he had planned - _ without _ ten.

no such luck.

yukhei's footsteps thundered down the hallway, and a harsh knock sounded at his door.

"ten-_ge?_ you gotta get up."

ten remained curled up in his bed, silent and waiting.

his door opened, quietly, yukhei's footsteps now subdued as he made his way across the room to the bed.

"ten?"

a soft hand shook ten's shoulder ever-so-slightly. 

ten remained still.

yukhei let out a resigned sigh, reatreating slightly. ten almost smiled out of triumph.

all of the sudden, ten was lifted from the bed, yukhei picking him up as easily as a bag of flour, and hiking him up on one shoulder.

ten shrieked, flailing in yukhei's grip, much more awake than he had been five minutes ago.

"xuxi!" he screamed, "_ xuxi! _put me down! xuxi, what the-"

yukhei simply laughed his charming laugh (it was especially bright when it was due to ten's misfortune), and carried ten down the hallway towards the kitchen.

he was set down on one of the kitchen stools, a deep pout on his face and arms crossed over his bare chest.

"i'll have you know i can kill you in your sleep," ten remarked, watching yukhei cross to the other side of the counter to stand.

"i'd like to see you try," yukhei retorted, before pulling out his phone and sliding it across the counter to ten. "anyways. mission. from kun."

ten dropped his sly grin and immediately bowed his head to read the message kun had sent.

one word stuck out immediately: _ funeral _.

ten looked up quickly, "they're having a funeral already?"

"that's the thing," yukhei jabbed a finger at the other lines of text, "we don't know yet. that's what we need to find out. date, time, venue, everything."

"hmm," ten bit at his lower lip in thought, "it won't be easy."

yukhei grinned - a boyish grin, one that always reminded ten that yukhei was nearly three years younger than him - and took his phone back from ten.

"and that's where the fun part begins."

ten recognized the glint in his eye.

"don't tell me-"

"yup, your favorite," yukhei winked, "tonight's our chance to see if seo junior knows how to throw a party."

ten wasn't always tired of clubbing.

for a few years, it was his favorite part of infiltration.

the music, the drinks, the _ men_.

but after years and years of it, the club began to lose its appeal.

the booming music that once filled his veins with exhilaration was now nothing more than a mere distraction, an obstacle.

the crowds of dancing patrons were almost too easy to lose a target in.

and sleeping around for the job was becoming repetitive, even if he did get a good fuck out of it.

and yet, he still agreed to go out with yukhei tonight, to survey all of the clubs that mr. seo owned and determine which ones were harmless, and which were covers for more... _ nefarious _ deals and activities.

it wasn't like he could refuse, anyways.

he had only ever refused a mission from kun once before, early in his career when he was still getting used to taking blatant orders.

bold. defiant. mistaken.

ten couldn't even remember what the mission had been, or why he had refused it, but he had. and it had proved to be nearly fatal.

kun sometimes said that the only reason he left ten alive was because of the potential he held; he had just needed something to keep him in check.

he could probably still find the scars today if he looked.

_ anything for the mission _, ten reminded himself quietly, watching himself in the bathroom mirror, eyes following the way the glitter on his lids shimmered under the harsh lights.

he had to admit, he _did_ like having an excuse to get all dressed up.

yukhei appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"you almost ready?" he asked, looking ten up and down.

they had gone out shopping earlier in the day to prepare for the kinds of missions they would have here in seoul, among other things.

ten had dressed himself in a pair of black jeans shredded almost beyond recognition with a layer of fishnets underneath, with an elaborately-pattered collared shirt, loose sleeves hanging down to his elbows.

yukhei had chosen some expensive brand to don, versace or burberry or something of the like, covered from head-to-toe in black.

"almost," ten echoed, "i still have to do my lips after this."

his partner slumped against the door frame with a whine.

"you always take for_ever_ with your mission makeup, ten-_ge!_ we have to be there in less than thirty minutes!"

ten ignored the rest of that sentence in favor of replying in korean, "you better get in the habit of calling me _hyung_ again, yukhei. we're trying to blend in, remember?"

yukhei muttered something under his breath, a mix of korean and mandarin that ten didn't bother deciphering. he was sure that xuxi hadn't said anything nice.

ten glanced over his makeup for a moment before making some more touches so it looked more natural against his skin.

yukhei merely huffed, saying something about 'waiting by the door' before disappearing from ten's peripheral.

_what a whiny baby_, ten scoffed, adding a shimmer to his lips with some gloss.

and it also wasn't necessarily ten's fault he took so long to get ready for missions.

he had to look a certain way to attract the information he needed, simple as that.

after a few more touch-ups and a sturdy and reassuring expression in the mirror, ten flicked the lights off and met yukhei in the entryway of the apartment.

"ready?" ten asked, finishing the knots on his heavy boots.

yukhei let out a snicker and gave a jerk of his head to lead ten out of the door.

"yeah, whatever. let's go fuck it up on the dance floor."

ten and yukhei walked through five different nightclubs before they found anything close to what they were looking for.

each nightclub that had come before had been nothing too terribly special. they were loud and dark and full of all the glitz and glam the average club-goer could ever dream of, but to ten they all seemed to fall a little flat.

and on top of that, there was absolutely no evidence anywhere that mr. seo was running any operations through them.

how disappointing.

by the time they arrived at the sixth and final club on the list that kun had sent them, ten's feet had begun to hurt and yukhei was looking like he would much rather be back at the apartment with a cup of instant noodles and whatever the newest k-drama was blasting on tv.

ten looked hopefully up at the neon-emblazoned sign over the entrance of the club.

_neo-tech nightclub_.

"do you think they thought they were being clever, naming it after their mafia?" ten asked, nudging yukhei with his elbow.

yukhei shook his head slightly, and incredulous smile spread on his face, "that, or just plain stupid."

ten looked at his partner and shrugged.

the music from the nightclub boomed so loudly the bass seemed to vibrate out into the street.

"probably our best chance. let's give it a shot."

immediately, they noticed that the air in the club buzzed with a different vibe.

the interior housed a more open setting, with high, vaulted ceilings that glowed with different colored neon lights hanging from wires.

there were very few sharp lines in the place, all of the furniture and art made up of curves and intricate designs.

the club oozed with wealth and elegance, and ten knew from experience that this was going to be the place to come for information.

yukhei nodded his head across the dance floor towards a marble staircase leading to the second floor. two men dressed in suits blocked the first step.

"vip?" he asked, and ten nodded.

"probably a cover."

they continued to survey the room, eyes roving from the back stairwell to the mass of moving bodies on the dance floor, to the numerous booths - all occupied, to the ornate marbled bar to the right where numerous bartenders made drinks as they bounced along to the heavy bass of the music.

"split up?" ten suggested, "cover more ground?"

yukhei nodded, bumping his knuckles against ten's before disappearing off to the dance floor.

ten gave the club another once-over before finding a seat at the bar, crossing his legs and eyeing the drink menu.

the patrons around him chattered loudly, something about a bachelor party to his right, someone's terrible boss to his left.

nothing terribly exciting, ten sighed, placing his chin in his palm. 

though, he supposed, perhaps that was better.

if anything were to happen tonight, if he were to run into any of seo's men (surely the club was full of them tonight anyways), ten was only armed with a knife hidden in his clunky boots.

neither he nor yukhei would be able to properly arm themselves until kun sent more members of their team to seoul, which could be anytime from tonight to three days from now.

best to keep a low profile and wait for the backup.

hendery and sicheng were set to join them first. then, when they needed more, yangyang and xiaojun.

ten smiled to himself at the prospect of seeing hendery again.

the kid had begun to feel like more of a little brother than xuxi, if he was being honest.

hendery was young when he started working under kun. too young.

only seventeen when ten was twenty-one. ten felt an obligation to take the boy under his wing, show him the ropes of a business ten himself had fought tooth and nail for.

now, hendery was nearly at ten's ranking already, a right-hand man.

ten couldn't help but feel a surge of pride for how well hendery had grown, given the shit he's had to go through the past few years.

he hoped that hendery and sicheng both would get here soon.

movement across the club caught ten's eye, and a glanced over at the stairs near the back.

the two men in suits had parted to make room for someone to pass through to the first floor.

ten cursed the prescription of his contacts as he tried to make out the newcomer.

he was very tall, ten could easily see, dressed in black with his hands in his pockets.

an aura of importance surrounded him, the way the patrons around him paused their conversations to glance at him.

everything but the music seemed to stop for him.

ten resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

as the man came closer to the bar, ten recognized his features from the picture on his tv the other night.

_mr. seo._

ten slid from his barstool before mr. seo had even made it to the bar, disappearing into the crowd of drunken dancers.

he needed to find yukhei.

thankfully, his partner's height and wide shoulders made him easy to spot.

"xuxi, come," he muttered quickly, grabbing yukhei's hand and tugging him through the crowd. yukhei made a small noise of protest before letting ten drag him through the club and into the bathroom.

"ten, what-"

ten quickly shushed yukhei with a finger on his lips, eyes sharp with intention.

yukhei closed his mouth.

"mr. seo is at the bar right now," ten said quickly.

"okay, so what-"

"we have to take it easy tonight, is what i'm saying. we can't look obvious."

ten turned away from his partner and peered at his reflection in the dim lighting of the bathroom.

his hair had gotten a bit ruffled throughout the night, the glitter on his face now shimmering on his cheeks due to sweat.

he quickly ran his fingers under the sink to try and smooth out his hair, and yukhei watched him in interest.

"what are you doing?"

"bangkok plan," ten replied simply, brushing his hair slightly over his eyes.

yukhei snickered, "what, _now? _"

"_yes_, now," ten frowned, turning to look at his partner, "what the fuck do you think i'm doing this for?"

yukhei huffed, avoiding ten's gaze and looking down at the floor.

"what, xuxi? what is it?"

his partner mumbled something under his breath, fiddling with the zipper of his leather jacket.

"hmm?" ten pushed, placing a comforting hand on yukhei's arm.

"i don't like feeling like a toy."

his lips were pursed in a pout as he said it.

ten sighed, placing his palms on yukhei's warm cheeks, forcing him to look ten in the eye.

"xuxi, honey," ten said softly, "it'll just be for a little bit, okay?"

yukhei nodded in understanding, but he still didn't look very happy.

"besides," ten continued, sliding his hands from yukhei's cheeks to his chest, fingers pressing underneath the collar of his jacket, "i promise i'll make it up to you later?"

ten could see the gears turning in yukhei's head before a smile finally broke through.

"yeah, yeah, okay." 

"yeah?"

"sure."

ten grinned again, "alright then, big boy. let's get out there."

yukhei assumed his place back at the dance floor, waiting just out of sight before ten gave the signal.

ten strutted out of the bathroom, making a beeline towards the bar where - thankfully - mr. seo was still seated.

at the last second, he switched to jogging up to the bar and slumping into the stool next to mr. seo, acting as though he had just made his way back from the dance floor.

"just a water, please, with ice," he ordered breathlessly, breathing heavily. mr. seo seemed not to bat an eye at ten's appearance.

as the bartender moved away to get his drink, ten gave a quiet laugh and tugged his phone from his pocket, switching to his front-facing camera to adjust his already-perfected hair.

out of the corner of his eye, ten noticed mr. seo look over.

he was quite handsome, really. the picture on the news hadn't done him any justice.

his hair was styled high and away from his face, revealing high cheekbones and pretty eyes.

mr. seo dressed well also, as no surprise to ten. a fitted suit jacket layered over a black turtleneck with two or three gold necklaces hanging over his broad chest; ten wanted to whistle appreciatively.

but his objective was to wait for mr. seo to initiate. to say something, to buy him a drink, to _flirt_. not the other way around.

it was always a gamble, but ten had more than enough confidence to believe that he was going to get what he wanted out of tonight.

"your water, sir," the bartender placed the glass in front of him, and ten drank it as quickly as he would if he were parched.

"on second thought," ten said quickly, before the bartender could walk away again, "i'll take a mojito as well."

just then, mr. seo spoke, "make it two. you can put it on my tab."

ten glanced over in surprise, "oh! thank you!" he feigned a blush and a smile.

"it's my pleasure," mr. seo bowed his head slightly, smiling.

his voice was smooth, yet higher than ten had expected. it complimented his face nicely.

"do you have a name i can match to such a pretty face?" ten asked sweetly, angling his body towards mr. seo.

"johnny," mr. seo replied, holding out his hand.

ten shook it gracefully; johnny's grip was strong. he noticed that johnny had not given his last name.

"that's a nice name," he commented, then added in english, "_you must be american, then? _"

"you speak english?" johnny asked, surprised.

"as well was thai and mandarin," ten smirked, "i'm a man of many talents."

"ah, i see," johnny replied, turning their conversation back into korean, "and to answer your question, yes. i was born in chicago. but i moved here when i was young."

ten mimicked a wistful look, "i've never been to america, but i've always wanted to go! i plan to travel there after university."

"oh? what are you studying?"

their conversation shifted easily to the next topic - all without johnny asking for ten's name. perfect.

given, ten _did_ have several aliases available for him to use, but it was always useful if targets never had a name to pair with a face.

"i'm majoring in liberal arts," ten supplied with a smile.

"ah," johnny responded, and ten giggled.

"i know, i _know_, it seems that all you ever meet anymore are liberal arts majors, huh?"

johnny gave a small laugh, "that's not what i was going to say."

ten raised an eyebrow, "what _were_ you going to say then?"

"i was going to say that liberal arts is a very nice major," johnny said, "and i was going to ask what you're planning on going into?"

ten grinned. he definitely had johnny hooked by now if he was asking about his major for small talk.

"political science. part of why i want to travel to america is to study the political science there."

johnny nodded appreciatively, but before he could respond, their drinks arrived.

they clinked their glasses together in cheers before taking a few sips.

their conversation changed over to professions. ten said that he was working as a paid intern for a fashion magazine. johnny told ten that he was a supervisor in a publishing company.

it almost amazed ten how easily the lies rolled off of johnny's tongue, though he couldn't be one to talk.

the amount of lies ten had told in just these past few years probably outnumbered the number of lies most people tell in a lifetime.

at some point in their conversation, johnny's hand moved from the bar to ten's thigh. ten allowed it to stay there, but he knew it was getting near the time he had to give yukhei the signal.

his goal was to get the target merely _interested_, not to get in bed with said target.

though ten had to say, the way johnny's hand was sliding up his thigh was sending goosebumps up his neck. 

after a moment, johnny asked if ten wanted to find somewhere quieter to talk, and the shorter grinned.

mr. seo was far too easy.

"i actually came here with..." ten trailed off, and feigned looking around for yukhei, his movements large and overblown so that his partner could see it was time.

"... a date," he finished, turning back to johnny, who pursed his lips. "i doubt i'll be seeing him again after tonight, though." ten's words seemed to spark an interest in johnny's eyes.

"oh?" 

before johnny could say anything else, however, yukhei stumbled out of the mass of movement on the dance floor, grinning and jogging up to ten.

"hey baby," he muttered against the shell of ten's ear, and ten leaned into yukhei's tall frame in response, letting out a breathy laugh and gesturing to johnny.

"lucas, this is johnny. johnny, lucas."

johnny gave yukhei a curt nod of greeting, eyes glinting with curiosity.

"well, i shouldn't interrupt your night any longer," johnny said shortly, watching yukhei wrap a hand around ten's small waist.

his hand had disappeared from ten's thigh to tap against the bar again.

"you weren't interrupting anything, i promise," ten replied, his mouth quirked at the corner.

he could see how that statement wasn't quite believable, since yukhei had begun to kiss along the line of ten's neck, pulling him closer.

"i see."

it was silent for a second, before yukhei whispered against ten's skin, "come on, let's go back to your place."

ten let out a breath and tilted his head back slightly.

"it appears i have to go," he said in a quiet voice, letting yukhei slowly tug him from his seat.

"what a shame," johnny replied, ignoring the way that yukhei was practically glued to ten's side at this point, "can i trust that i'll be seeing you again?"

"i guess we'll see, won't we?" ten winked, before turning in yukhei's hold so his partner could drag him through the crowd of club patrons.

just before they reached the front entrance, ten looked back over his shoulder.

johnny still sat at the bar, his gaze sharp enough to cut through the thick air of the club.

ten smirked and let yukhei pull him through the door.

as soon as they made it back into the car, they broke out into raucous laughter.

"i don't think i've ever seen anybody react like him!" yukhei cried out, starting the car while doubled over laughing.

"his _face! _" ten howled, "when you came up! oh, god, you should have taken a _picture! _"

messing with targets was altogether way more fun than ten should legally be able to have.

"'_what a shame _'," yukhei mocked, mimicking johnny's tone, "fucking dick. he's probably whining to the bartender about you right now."

ten laughed with his head thrown back, but still replied, "don't forget who he is though, yukhei. we can only have so much fun for so long."

"yeah, yeah," yukhei waved him off, "let's just get back to the apartment, yeah?"

ten raised an eyebrow at his partner.

"eager for me to make it up to you, hmm?"

yukhei's cheeks flushed, but he didn't respond, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

ten smiled, folded his hands in his lap, and waited the rest of the drive back in silence.

unsurprisingly, it was ten who acted first.

as soon as the door closed behind them, ten grabbed yukhei by the collar of his leather jacket and pushed him up against the wall, needing to stand on his tip-toes to press their lips together.

yukhei responded with equal vigor, hands wrapping around ten's skinny waist and holding him there.

he deepened the kiss with a tilt of his head, and ten hummed contently.

it really wasn't that uncommon for the two of them to hook up like this.

sometimes after certain missions, or maybe a harsh sparring session, or a long night awake, when they only had each other around, they would find themselves in bed together (or the occasional couch or supply closet).

it didn't deal any damage to their friendship, and they both got to release whatever they had pent up inside in a mutually beneficial way.

plus, yukhei's lips on his neck were certainly doing wonders for ten right now.

"aren't you glad we went with the bangkok plan?" ten asked, leaning his head back to give yukhei more space to mark him up.

he felt yukhei smile against his skin in response.

ten let his hands drift to the front of yukhei's belt, but before he could even think about unbuckling it-

someone behind ten cleared their throat.

ten jumped and spun in yukhei's grasp, eyes darting around.

and across the room, leaning casually against the entrance of the hallway, was a young man.

his dark hair fell in waves over his forehead, yet failed to cover the way his eyebrows arched in amusement.

"oh, jesus _fuck_," lucas groaned in the same moment that ten's face lit up with a brilliant smile.

"hendery!"

hendery had arrived not long after ten and yukhei had left for the clubs, he told the two of them, once they settled in.

after a brief greeting, yukhei quickly excused himself to go to bed, his embarrassment at hendery walking in on them still tinting the tips of his ears pink.

ten instead settled on the couch with hendery to chat a bit about the mission.

"will you be staying here with us?" ten eventually asked, after he finished explaining the entire night to an attentive hendery.

hendery shook his head, "no, kun-_ge_ sent me to my own place, but sicheng-_ge_ will be here soon so i won't be so lonely."

"that's good," ten nodded thoughtfully. at least kun hadn't sent the boy here to be completely alone.

"wish i was, though," hendery added on, "staying here with you guys."

ten made a cooing sound and drew hendery into his chest, hugging him tightly.

"aww, is my baby hendery _lonely? _"

the younger boy hit ten's chest with light fists, whining and struggling in ten's grip, "_ten-ge_, i'm not a baby!"

"poor baby hendery~" ten mimicked rocking hendery in his arms as he spoke in a singsong voice, "all _alone_, little baby!" 

"_ten-ge!_ "

"if you stayed with us, i think you might see a bit more than you want to s-"

"gross! _gross!_ ten-_ge_, get _off!_ "

ten eventually released the younger boy, shaking with laughter at his friend's expression. "what, you didn't like what you saw earlier?"

hendery gave him a glare that could stop a heart cold.

"you're _shameless_, ten-_ge_."

"hendery, please," ten said with a grin, "and shame i ever had in the first place was lost a long, _long_ time ago."

**one week later**

mr. seo sr.'s funeral ended up not being too much of a show.

it was a sated, private funeral, all white flowers and ornate picture frames filled with pictures of the deceased.

ten merely watched from a distance under the shadow of a tall camphor tree; the figures in black all standing with their heads bowed in respect as the casket was lowered into the hardening dirt.

johnny stood tall by the head of the grave, face stoic and expressionless. there were no tears wetting his cheeks.

"this is _boring_," ten had yawned behind his hand, turning to yukhei next to him, "can't we just go get a coffee or something?"

yukhei shushed him quickly, watching the funeral proceedings with an analytical expression.

ten rolled his eyes and crossed his arms with a huff.

"there's no information we can gather from this, xuxi. there's clearly nothing here for us."

yukhei opted to give ten a sharp smack on the shoulder instead of saying anything.

ten frowned and rubbed at his arm, grumbling under his breath.

and he, as it turned out, had been completely right.

they had watched the entire proceedings from the moment johnny had arrived to the second he left the reception afterwards, and not a single second of it had any significance to them, least of all kun.

ten drove back to the apartment in a sour mood, glaring over the steering wheel while yukhei scrolled aimlessly through his phone in the passenger seat.

hendery had gotten a much more entertaining task than them.

he, along with the newly-arrived sicheng, was tasked with scoring a few extra invitations to the annual seo autumn gala.

normally, ten wouldn't bat an eye at this, but the autumn gala wasn't just another party for them.

the seo autumn gala was a yearly event in which the seo family and many other rich and influential families in east and southeast asia gathered in a pretentious venue of their choosing to bid billions of won, yen, and other currencies on luxury goods for the fun of it.

and every year, without fault, there was more than enough champagne, money, and secrets to go around.

secrets that kun needed.

and ten was more than willing to pull a few strings and buy a few drinks to get them.

however.

it just so happened that at the moment, instead of actually doing anything of use for kun, ten was stuck in the car after a full four hours of doing absolutely nothing.

in the passenger seat next to him, yukhei took a call from sicheng, sharing the day's work and waiting for further instruction from kun.

once they pulled up to the apartment, ten left yukhei in the car, slamming the door behind him as he went.

why had kun sent them on such a useless mission?

he rode the elevator up to the apartment alone, fingers tapping the railings absentmindedly as he thought about the seo autumn gala.

it was set for the coming weekend, saturday evening all the way into the early hours of the morning. johnny seo was meant to give a speech in his father's place, kicking off the night before the dinner, the bids and auctions, and the inevitable after-parties that would provide the best prey for ten and his teammates to gather information from.

ten almost itched for the day to be here already, to have something to do. 

hopefully hendery and sicheng would be coming back with good news.

the apartment was empty when he got there, as he expected. hendery and sicheng weren't supposed to be be back until later in the evening.

yukhei came in not too long after him, still on the phone as he shrugged his jacket off by the door.

before the younger could say anything, ten called from his room, "i'm gonna take a bath, don't bother me unless someone's dying!"

yukhei merely waved him off, listening attentively to the phone in his hand.

ten rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him, going into the bathroom to start running the bath.

it had been a while since he had last been granted the free time to actually unwind and take care of himself for once.

a month or two at _least_.

hopefully it would take his mind off of the seo autumn gala for the moment.

take his mind off of the mission, off of johnny, yukhei and hendery, kun, the mafia, all of it.

everything weighing on his mind. everything that's always weighing on his mind.

steam curled in the air over the soaking tub, making mesmerizing spirals.

ten dipped his fingers under the water, humming in content at the warmth before switching the water off and slipping his shirt over his head.

he thought passingly about the fact that he might miss calls or important information, but quickly put it out of his mind by reminding himself that he could leave it to yukhei.

his partner was more than able to handle anything ten couldn't pick up or answer to.

besides, ten was already in the bathtub and there was no way he was getting out for at least thirty minutes.

ten sank into the water, letting it envelop him; sooth the worries from his skin.

if he closed his eyes, it almost felt like he was back in his own bathtub at his apartment in shanghai.

he remembered the day he had moved into the place still. his first _real_ home away from home.

well, his first real home since his parents had passed.

but before then, ten had only stayed in temporary places. apartments, friends' couches, even various motels and roadside inns. 

always cheap. always with other people. always for a few months.

never home.

he had stayed like that for years on end, from his parents' death until he met qian kun.

at the time, ten had no idea just how dangerous kun was.

they had been the same age, seventeen, when they met.

ten had believed that kun was just an unfortunate boy who chose all the wrong paths in life that led him into a life of crime in shanghai.

but the roots that kun grew from extended far deeper than simple back alleyways; roots that stretched beyond the borders of shanghai, roots that made up one of the largest and most powerful organized crime syndicates in china.

or in layman's terms: the mafia.

and he wanted ten to join him.

ten hadn't wanted to at first. he felt wrong, _guilty_ even, for ever thinking about it, knowing that his parents would never be able to forgive him if they were still alive.

so he resisted. he refused.

but kun offered to pay him a certain amount of cash for a small deed. a delivery. if ten delivered the package well, then he could decide for himself if he wanted to join or not.

if he wanted out, out of crime, away from the mafia, they would help him.

but if he dared think about going to the police, he'd be dead before he reached the station.

it seemed like a simple enough decision. deliver the package, accept the cash, leave and find somewhere to live with the little money he _did_ have.

so simple.

yet ten hadn't chosen that.

he chose to stay by kun's side. to deliver more packages and do more favors. to be a _friend_, even.

the rising digits in his bank account had been enticing enough to persuade ten into staying by kun's side as he got his bearings in the unfamiliar, underground syndicate world he had suddenly been thrust into.

he lived in that world for about a year and a half.

ten and kun both turned nineteen, they shared an apartment, they rose up in the ranks _together_.

and then, one late summer night, as kun and ten were meeting with the current ringleader at the time (kun's older cousin a few times removed or something of the sort), ten had the chance to glimpse just how cutthroat kun was capable of being.

he could still remember the sound of the gunshots, the warm blood spattered on his cheeks, dripping from his chin.

kun had shot the ringleader first that night.

it was almost comical, how fast the man had dropped - two holes in his chest and one in his head.

at the sound of the gunshots, two of his men had come in. two shots, _bang! bang!_ and both went down one after the other, before they could even get a word out.

ten had merely stood there, paralyzed with fear that kun was going to shoot him next, that he was going to die, hoping that kun would have the wherewithal to bury him next to his parents instead of tossing his body into a river with a cement block tied to his feet-

but kun had merely crossed over to the ringleader, nudging his dead hand with the toe of his boot before grabbing the gun from his waistband and holding it out to ten.

"here," kun had said, voice shaky with exhilaration, "i can't have my right-hand man unarmed, can i?"

ten had taken the gun from him with trembling hands.

he hadn't ever held one before.

he hadn't ever seen somebody get shot.

he could see droplets of blood decorating the barrel of the gun. they dripped onto his fingers as he held it.

that night, kun claimed his throne.

he became the new ringleader, and ten, his right-hand man.

at first, as expected, many doubted him.

they just saw some stupid kid, power-hungry and naive to the rules and laws of the syndicate.

but he eliminated them early on.

ten didn't even want to think about how high the body count got in those first few months.

kun vowed to rule over not just the underground of china, but east asia, southeast asia. he would expand their borders, build on it, create a fortune and a name in the process.

it shouldn't have come as a surprise when he did exactly that.

in the four years since then, kun established a kingdom, and everybody who knew him, _the_ qian kun, knew that he would cut down anything in his path to keep that kingdom growing.

and ten had been there for all of it.

sometimes ten still wondered where he would be now if he had never run into kun all those years ago.

never joined the mafia, never given up his only chance for a normal life.

ten's stomach sank in an ugly way that made his heart crawl into his throat.

he didn't like thinking about what is and what could've been.

because every time he did, those little inklings of regret began to resurface again, no matter how much he tried to trample them down.

ten shivered slightly, the water around him feeling much cooler than it had before.

if kun knew that he had thoughts like that, ten would be dead before morning.

if there was one thing ten had learned over the years of knowing kun, it was that they were not equals, not anymore.

they may have started out at friends, but kun reminded him constantly that despite their past, he still held the reins.

and god save anybody who forgot that.

the sinking feeling in ten's stomach worsened.

he squeezed his eyes shut, suddenly hating the glare of the bathroom light, the buzz of the bulb, the feeling in his stomach growing more and more guilt-ridden.

ten's head sunk under the water, breath held as he drowned out all of the noise around him.

slowly, he tapped against the side of the bathtub, counting silently in his head.

_one... two... three... four..._

it usually took him around forty-five seconds to calm himself down after his mind ran to places it shouldn't be, to remind himself that he was here for a reason, and he was damn good at what he did, that this is where he was meant to be.

_twelve... thirteen... fourteen..._

his lungs began to ache slightly - it took his mind off of the terrifying feeling in his stomach.

the tapping of his fingers was sharp and clear against the porcelain of the tub.

_twenty-six... twenty-seven... twenty-eight..._

ten had to focus on his tapping, making sure that his shaking hands didn't tap faster than he wanted to.

his chest felt tight, wound up; he needed to _breathe-_

_thirty-two... thirty-three..._

the seconds felt longer than usual.

something muffled sounded in the distance, but ten couldn't quite place it. his mind was foggy.

_thirty-five... thirty-six..._

a shadow cast over his closed eyes, and then a shout-

something grabbed his wrist, wrenching him up and out of water.

ten gasped in lungfuls of air, vision through squinted eyes blurry from the water.

semi-blindly, he lashed out at whoever clutched at his wrist, first with a fist and then his elbow, before he heard a startled-

"_hyung!_ "

the hand let go of his wrist as ten blinked the water from his eyes, still breathing shakily.

yukhei stood a few feet from the tub, backed up against the sink with a worried look.

"what the _fuck_ are you doing?!" ten demanded, eyes shifting from yukhei, to his wrist, to the open bathroom door.

"sorry!" yukhei held up his hands in defense, "i didn't mean to scare you but you weren't answering me when i knocked! and when i walked in and saw you under the water i thought you were drowning or-"

"drowning?" ten asked, exasperated, "xuxi, i'm in the _bathtub_."

"i know that," he responded, clearly embarassed by the situation, "sorry for being concerned for your well-being, _hyung_. guess i'll let you die next time."

ten huffed, biting at his lip in frustration.

"whatever," he snapped, "what did you need me for?"

yukhei slid his phone from his pocket, showing his screen to ten, who had to squint to read the words on the text message. an address.

"new mission from kun. get dressed. we need to be ready in twenty."

ten dressed quickly, albeit irritated as he did.

he couldn't even take a god damn bath in peace, apparently.

it took him all of seven minutes to towel-dry his hair, dress in skinny black jeans and a dark bomber-jacket to match, throw some half-assed product in his hair, and make it to the front door where yukhei waited patiently.

once ten had laced up his boots, yukhei held a pocket knife by the blade out to him.

ten took it cautiously, flicking it closed and clipping it to his pants where his jacket concealed it.

"it this a 'weapons required' sort of job?" ten asked.

which really meant: _am i meant to be expecting a fight?_

"it's a precaution," yukhei responded.

which really meant: _not expecting, but be prepared for anything_.

they each gave a sharp nod in confirmation and left the apartment once more.

this field trip didn't take them to any lavish bar, nor another silent funeral, but this time into the back alleyway of some seedy nightclub that reeked of stale drinks and cigarette smoke.

yukhei led ten through the alley, paying no mind to the patrons that lingered there.

the bass from inside reverberated off of the brick walls surrounding them, a steady heartbeat that thrummed in the heart of the ground.

someone's fingers trailed down ten's arm as he passed them, but he simply jerked his arm away and dug his hands further into his jacket pockets, hunched in on himself.

in front of him, yukhei took a sharp left turn, around the back of the club building.

ten followed him quickly, staying silent as yukhei walked up to a staircase that descended into the ground, seemingly leading underneath the nightclub.

yukhei turned and gave ten a momentary look a reassurance before disappearing into the darkness of the stairwell.

ten glanced around him, surveying the narrow lanes and alleys that led away from the area, committing it to memory in case they needed a quick escape, and followed yukhei down the stairs.

the music grew louder as ten followed yukhei's back.

_another level of the club? _ ten thought absently, fingers fiddling with some loose string from the inside of his pocket.

but as yukhei turned another corner, and the room they entered came into view, ten's eyebrows raised.

the room was as packed as a nightclub dance floor, but the shouting of the people was far louder than the music that blared from all around.

illuminated by a few dim lights, the room seemed to host a wide variety of patrons. from what looked like businessmen in black suits, to back-alley drug dealers, to even women in sharp and shiny jewels, it was by far the most random gathering of people ten had seen yet.

but the main attraction wasn't the people; it was the wide circle that opened a gaping hole in the middle of the crowd, in which two men were caught in what looked like a brutal fist fight.

the crowd shouted and jeered them on, hands waving money clutched in fists and yelling approval.

bids, bets, all of it.

ten turned to yukhei with a bemused look.

"_johnny seo_ runs an underground fighting ring?"

yukhei just gave a half shrug and gestured ten to follow him through the crowd to the edge of the circle.

the crowd made way for yukhei and his large frame, ten walking in his wake, hidden by his partner's shoulders.

the fight in the circle continued with no interruption as ten and yukhei arrived at the edge of the crowd.

the man with his back to them was pacing around the edge of the circle, waiting for the other to make a move.

across the circle, the other man wore a grin, blood dripping from his nose down over his lips, running down his chin.

'boy' seemed like a more accurate word, as the young man across the way looked much too young to be hanging out in a place like this.

his pitch-black hair and sharp jaw reminded ten painfully of hendery.

ten didn't want to think about hendery ever being in a situation like this, grinning through bloody teeth at an opponent he was being paid to fight.

"do you know who that is?" yukhei jabbed a finger towards the black-haired boy.

"am i supposed to?"

"yes, actually," yukhei said quietly, "that's mark lee."

ten hummed in interest, surveying the boy.

for all he had heard about _mark lee_, he thought the boy would've been a little older.

but ten knew he couldn't discredit mark because of his age. he was a fierce fighter, from what kun had told them.

regardless, they were going to be able to see mark lee's skills firsthand tonight.

"who do you think all of the bets are for?" ten quietly asked; yukhei only smiled.

as if on cue, the man in front of them made a whip-quick movement across the circle, but before he could even get close to mark, the latter had swept his leg out low, knocking the man on his back.

ten inhaled a sharp breath through his teeth; he could almost feel how hard the man went down.

mark simply grinned, backing up slightly as if to invite another attack.

ten had to say, he appreciated his confidence.

the man on the ground scrambled to his feet, not done quite yet.

his chest heaved with exhaustion as he swung a punch at mark, who dodged easily and landed a punch square on the other's jaw.

the man went down a second time, the mass of people backing up to make room for his collapse.

he didn't get back up this time, but ten doubted it would have mattered anyways. the crowd was already chanting mark's name, fists clutching money held up in the air.

and mark stood there, soaking it all in, taking a water bottle somebody had handed to him and dumping some over his head, downing the rest.

the defeated was dragged away from the circle by two men with hard-set faces, hoisting him to his feet and leading him out of the room.

ten wondered if they had anybody here to patch up wounds, or if the losers simply had to leave with tails tucked between legs.

mark moved to one edge of the circle to chat with somebody in a hushed tone, heads bowed as they talked.

_there might be info there..._ ten mused watching the way the man mark talked with leaned forward and whispered something in his ear.

ten tapped yukhei on the arm and made a jerking motion with his head to say he was going to move around the circle to see if he could pick up anything. yukhei winked at him.

squeezing through the crowd was significantly more difficult without yukhei in front of him, but ten made do by utilizing his shoulders to push past the majority of the surrounding people.

thankfully, he was generally small enough to not make too much of an impact; one wrong step on the wrong person's shoe could earn him a broken nose, so he'd have to watch where he stepped.

he edged closer to there mark was standing, trying to tune out the crowd's jeering to hear what he was saying.

"... really tonight, jaehyung-_hyung?_ "

the man he talked to, jaehyun, made a shrugging gesture.

"that's what he said, mark. i told him not to, but he said the funeral really got to him."

ten paused, listening close to mark's response.

"that doesn't really sound like him, _hyung_."

"i thought the same thing," jaehyun sighed, "but i couldn't stop him. he'll be here in a few. he's just upstairs checking on some things."

ten's hair stood up; he was almost worried to wonder who they were talking about.

jaehyun suddenly turned around, sharp eyes searching the people around him. his gaze seemed to pass right over ten, around the circle, and finally back to mark.

"i'd better get back in the ring then," mark muttered, "gotta collect a few more bets before the night is up."

"looks like you've already got a challenger," jaehyun nodded across the circle.

ten followed his gaze and felt his heart nearly stop in his chest.

yukhei stood in the circle, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it somewhere behind him in the crowd, remaining in a black tee and jeans.

a lazy smile adorned his face, playful.

mark turned around to face yukhei, mirroring the slack in his stance.

"you new here?" mark asked, raising an eyebrow, "i've never seen you here before."

"just passing through," yukhei shrugged, "wanted to see what all the hype was about a certain mark lee."

that made mark laugh. loud, and breathy, face scrunched up.

ten shot an alarmed look at yukhei, who wouldn't meet his eyes.

_what the fuck is he doing?_

ten tried his best to act nonchalant. no matter what happened, he couldn't blow their cover.

in the middle of the crowd, mark and yukhei began to circle around each other.

"you looking to beat me?" mark asked, adjusting the fabric that adorned his hands. dark red blood stained the knuckles.

"just looking for a friendly spar," yukhei responded. his fists were bare.

from somewhere in the crowd, somebody shouted for them to 'start the fight already'.

mark held out his fists; yukhei chuckled and bumped their knuckles together.

immediately, mark closed in to swing at yukhei's jaw, but ten's partner ducked to the side, hands held high in defense.

yukhei side-stepped and landed a lower it, striking mark in the side.

mark jumped back, pressing a hand to his ribs with a wince.

he retaliated with a burst of movement, feigning right before landing a few blows to the left side of yukhei's face.

yukhei blocked the last hit and shoved mark's hands aside, using the movement to distract from a well-aimed kick that planted his boot right in the center of mark's chest.

mark stumbled away, coughing and ducking low to prevent another low attack.

then, he let out a short laugh, almost in disbelief.

"not bad, not bad," mark shook his hands out of their tight fists, "you're probably the most skilled i've fought all night."

yukhei shrugged in mock indifference.

"eh, it's just practice."

ten realized that he had been clenching his jaw since he had first seen yukhei in the circle.

he let out a quick exhale, steadying his heart and sifting through his options to get them both the hell out of there.

in the circle, yukhei and mark began to move again, striking and blocking with lighting-fast precision; it was clear that they were a good challenge for each other.

ten tried his best to block it out, focusing on weaving back around to yukhei's original side of the circle.

if he could cause a distraction... something more loud and entertaining than the fight that everybody watching and cheered for, maybe he could distract the crowd long enough to get yukhei out of the circle and away from the fighting ring.

by the time ten got a good view of the fight again, yukhei was sporting a bleeding, cut lip, and mark's nose was dripping fresh blood down his chin.

he could only hope that yukhei would hold it out long enough for ten to come up with a plan.

looking around and studying the people surrounding him, ten slowly strung together a plan in his head. it was built almost solely on chance, but if he pulled it off, it just might get the two of them out of there unscathed.

again, ten tried to make eye contact, but yukhei seemed adamant on avoiding his gaze, eyebrows drawn tight and lips pursed.

"fucking _hell_," ten cursed under his breath, ducking his head to avoid questioning looks from the surrounding crowd (not that they were really paying attention anyways). yukhei was _really_ going to make him do this all himself?

ten's eyes caught a movement near the back of the room; a door opening wide, and a newcomer stepping inside the underground room.

normally, this wouldn't matter in the slightest.

but as it happened, unfortunately, the one person that ten hoped wouldn't come through that door was stepping into the outer throngs of the crowd.

johnny seo sported a casual looking suit, something that would have otherwise looked a little out of place in this room, but johnny commanded some sort of power of the patrons of the ring that even a few watchers of the fight drew their eyes away from yukhei and mark to get a look at johnny.

_please, don't recognize xuxi..._ ten prayed that johnny wouldn't come any closer to the fight, but he seemed to be making a beeline straight to jaehyun, across the circle.

in the ring, yukhei's back now faced johnny, a small reassurance that ten wasn't sure how long it would last, but it was a reassurance nonetheless.

still, ten needed a distraction, and he needed it _now_.

he turned sharply against the crowd, slipping between people until he was close enough to johnny that the distraction would attract his attention.

and at once, ten stomped as hard as he could on the man next to him's foot, quickly melting back into the crowd behind him to avoid the confrontation.

the man let out a shout, immediately looking around to see who had done it. he quickly shoved at the patron next to him, who had been jumping in her thick-heeled boots.

in seconds, another man had stepped in front of the woman, shouting something at the man whose foot had been bruised.

ten watched in anticipation; hopefully these patrons had had _just_ enough to drink that-

another yell pierced the sound of the cheers, pushing and shoving between the two escalated until one of them was shoved backwards so hard that he slammed into johnny's shoulder.

johnny stumbled forward, whirling around to face the two men. before he could get a word out, however, jaehyun had started forward, already throwing a fist at the offending man.

as he went down, more clamor began to fill the room - more punches thrown, more men yelling incessantly - even johnny's initial stumble had distracted mark long enough for yukhei to back him up into the crowd.

behind mark, a haywire fist from the crowd knocked the boy in the skull, and he spun with a fiery look in his eyes.

ten observed with awe for a second. clearly, he had underestimated the temper of the crowd, because within seconds, all three of the people he had hoped to distract were involved in a much bigger fight than he had started.

he wasted no time in breaking across the circle, grabbing yukhei's wrist and tugging him back into the other side of the crowd.

"we need to go," he snapped, "_now_." 

yukhei didn't protest, simply grabbed his jacket from the stained floor and let ten drag him through the swaying mass of people before making it to the stairs.

ten didn't look back to see if anybody had noticed their departure. he couldn't risk making eye-contact with johnny and risking being recognized.

he simply burst into a run as soon as they were above-ground, footsteps echoing on the brick walls surrounding them on all sides.

they didn't stop running until they reached the car, ten shoving yukhei into the passenger seat before crossing to the driver's side, peeling out of the parking lot with a screech as soon as the car had started.

it was silent for a few minutes; ten gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white.

yukhei sat hunched in his seat, wiping his nose on his hand and examining the blood staining his knuckles.

several times, ten opened his mouth to ask something, but quickly shut it, not sure what he should even say.

at last, he finally asked: "did johnny recognize you?"

yukhei looked down.

"i don't think so," he muttered.

"well, you better fucking _hope_ so," ten snapped, "that was stupid and reckless xuxi, you should know that."

"i know."

"what would have happened if johnny figured out something was up? our cover would be blown and he'd have people on us in seconds. and whatever plan kun has would be shredded to pieces."

yukhei didn't answer, head still bowed.

"the last thing we need is johnny figuring out that we're here on behalf of kun. we need to have surprise on our side to win this, you know?"

there was no response.

ten didn't want to think about what kun would do if his elaborate plans were ruined. 

that being said though, ten still wasn't completely sure what kun's plan _was_.

it was clear enough that the death of johnny's father and the power shift at the head of their syndicate provided a weak point for kun to take advantage of, but after that? he had no idea.

kun hadn't cared to explain any further than the mission statements and texts.

he had grown secretive over the years, no longer the friend he used to be. he only gave people information as he saw fit, nothing more.

still, ten wasn't going to let yukhei fall prey to kun's hands by making a simply mistake that could've cost them all too much.

"yukhei, you've got to understand that kun isn't the kind of person who takes mistakes well, okay?"

his partner still didn't reply.

"_okay? _" ten pressed, and when yukhei still didn't say anything, "xuxi?"

ten glanced over at the passenger seat.

yukhei was slumped against the door, eyes closed and chest rising and falling steadily.

ten gave a faint smile, shaking his head slightly.

he would let yukhei sleep for now.

he was going to need it. 

all too soon, the date of the seo autumn gala arrived.

by then, two more had joined their little crew in seoul; yangyang and xiaojun.

seeing the boys made ten wonder how young of people kun was roping into their syndicate. yangyang had just barely turned nineteen, and xiaojun was only a year older.

ten appreciated the help nonetheless, he and yukhei were going to need it if they were to get through the gala.

they had each been assigned jobs by kun, each and every task being essential to their plan.

ten, yukhei, and sicheng were going in undercover. they would wear the fancy suits and drink flutes of champagne and mingle with the locals until they could edge in on some conversations worth hearing.

xiaojun was tasked with getting them all invitations. they would all be checked at the door, so they needed a convincing enough copy to allow them into the venue.

this year's venue? a prestigious art museum that johnny supposedly rented (though ten wouldn't put it past him to buy the entire building) that would house the gala and the auction, though the afterparties would surely be held at some penthouse suite in the most expensive district of seoul.

hendery was the eyes; he would keep track of everything and everyone through cameras and mics. he had a list of all the invites, knew the backgrounds of every corrupt bureaucrat and affluent millionaire there.

yangyang would be helping hendery, making sure things ran smoothly and coming up with quick and efficient fixes to unexpected problems that may arise. and, if need be, he would be their ride out should things go terribly wrong.

the pieces looked to all be falling together nicely.

ten just hoped it would stay that way.

he, yukhei, and sicheng all got ready in the apartment together, dressing in suits that would help them blend in with the attending crowd.

yangyang lounged in the living room, waiting to drive them all to the gala.

ten adjusted the lapels of his black suit jacket, making sure that they didn't cover too much of the shirt he wore underneath: a black collared shirt made entirely of lace. 

yukhei and sicheng's suits were far more inconspicuous, simple suits with white dress shirts underneath; yukhei wore a simple black tie, while sicheng donned a bow-tie.

once fully dressed, ten assisted in touching up sicheng's makeup, darkening his eyelids and adding a little extra highlight where he saw fit.

"do i look good?" he asked ten, once his makeup was finished.

"stunning," ten promised him with a grin.

yangyang stood quickly once they all trailed into the living room, ready to drop them off at the steps of the art museum.

they didn't talk much as they got in the car, sitting restlessly, hands tapping on knees.

"everybody got their invitations?" ten asked, holding up the slip of paper.

yukhei and sicheng nodded in response, the invitations held between fingers.

ten nodded, not much comforted by the fact.

he ran through everything he had read from kun's text.

it was inevitable that johnny would see ten or at least yukhei tonight, so he was to play the same part: a full-time college student, this time tagging along with a rich classmate who invited him. the rich classmate in question would be sicheng.

yukhei would enter with them, but he was not simply going to be eye-candy tonight. his (supposed) parents were to have sent him in their place, along with a large sum of won to bid on whatever the seo family had supplied for the charity auction.

ten was not going to be so handsy with him tonight.

his goal was to get friendly enough with the masses that he would score an invite to the afterparties, where much more delicate information would be up for grabs with the right amount of alcohol.

hopefully, that invite would come from johnny seo himself.

it was a surprisingly short ride to the art museum, and before he knew it, they were pulled up to the front steps. yangyang parked and turned around in his seat.

"remember, any trouble and hendery and i will spot it. but if you need any help you can call either one of us at any time, okay?"

they nodded in unison.

"alright, now get out there."

as soon as the three of them stepped onto the pavement, they assumed their roles.

yangyang pulled away from the curb as they climbed the steps up to the museum entrance. 

the doors stood wide open, spilling warm light from inside over the stairway, illuminated a few people that roamed around the entrance.

a short line stretched through the entryway; ten lined up first, yukhei and sicheng following behind.

from what he could glimpse through the doors, the main room was comprised entirely of an open art exhibition. jazzy band music played from somewhere in the building, the sound drifting out over the front steps.

guests wandered here and there, hands on elbows and hands on glass stems, examining the paintings and artworks with interest. ten wanted to scoff.

the line moved forward.

ten presented his invitation first, expression uncaring.

the security men glanced it over, then gave curt nod, handing it hack to him and gesturing for him to enter the museum.

ten bowed his head in thanks and moved to the inside of the doorway to wait for yukhei and sicheng.

one after the other, they passed through easily, convening inside.

"you'd think that johnny would have higher security, huh?" sicheng nudged ten's shoulder with his, and ten snickered.

but something felt... off. like it shouldn't have been that easy. 

ten pushed the feeling aside and ventured further into the museum, closer to the source of the music.

after a short stroll through a hallway decorated solely in tapestries, they came upon the ballroom.

clearly designed for large crowds (and certainly with the acoustics to match), the room opened a cathedral-like space, with high, vaulted ceilings from which hung crystaline chandeliers. almost the entire space was filled with circular tables carrying bouquets of lilies and other flowers of the like.

across the way, a small stage area was set for what looked like speeches and most likely the following auction. to the right, a band of ten-or-so swayed to the tune that they played.

many patrons around the ballroom were roaming around, accepting glasses of champagne and small bites of this or that from passing waiters.

ten wasn't feeling particularly hungry, but he, yukhei, and sicheng had ground to cover, and they had to do it fast.

he motioned for the two men behind him to spread out around the room, survey the easy targets to rope into a conversation, but before they could move, a thunderous applause rose from the guests all around the room.

ten looked up sharply, seeing that johnny had taken the stage and was making his way to the microphone to speak.

guests from the art exhibition flooded into the room behind them, effectively creating a barrier that prevented ten, yukhei, and sicheng from being able to leave.

johnny reached the microphone, grinning good-naturedly and looking over the crowd.

"good evening," he spoke, voice filling the room to every corner, "it is so wonderful to see you all here tonight."

there were a few scattered claps at that, though they were stamped out quickly.

johnny gave the crowd a warm look.

"now, as most of you know, my father recently passed away due to his cancer." johnny looked down slightly. "he fought very long, and very hard, but it eventually won the fight against him."

nobody in the crowd spoke.

"see, he would usually be up here, giving this speech. i would watch him give it every single year..."

ten started to tune johnny's words out. he had practically already heard this spiel at the funeral, there was no need to listen again.

_father passed away_... blah, blah... _responsibility_... blah, blah, blah... _passing the baton_... blah, ten had heard it all already. 

ten wondered just how many times johnny had to give a speech like this.

"... which is why i want to do my best to create a memorable evening for everyone!"

the guests cheered and clapped again; johnny still hadn't lost his smile.

"so let's make this evening amazing, yeah?" johnny asked. he was greeted by a wave of thunderous applause.

ten rolled his eyes.

the only thing that made this evening amazing for the guests was the ability for them to feel good about themselves "donating" to charities and people in need by buying themselves luxury condos and all-inclusive tropical vacations and yachts sailing in the mediterranean because they would never donate otherwise.

these galas always were a massive joke.

johnny stepped off of the stage after a quick bow and a thank you, only to be immediately swarmed by guests; probably his father's friends or mafia buddies. the two weren't exactly mutually exclusive.

ten turned around to face yukhei and sicheng, who watched him with patience.

"you two go ahead and look around the room. find important people, start conversations."

yukhei nodded, and turned to leave.

"what about you?" sicheng asked, fingers messing with his bow-tie.

"i'll scout the exhibition area," ten replied, "need to make sure we know our way around the building."

sicheng murmured an ah, before going to opposite direction as yukhei, making his way towards the tables.

ten squeezed through the guests that had filled the hallway, quickly getting back to the first room, which was considerably more empty than it had been before johnny's speech.

he wandered past the paintings, unable to pinpoint a theme for the exhibition other than just art.

it didn't matter much to ten, he was never much of an art connoisseur anyways.

really, he was just trying to understand the layout of the building a little better, but the walls of the exhibition zigged and zagged in such a way that the layout made practically no sense.

the music became fainter as he walked, the chatter of the crowd dimming with it.

ten ended up stood in front of a small painting, merely a foot by a half, of a white lotus flower. somehow, he'd gained a champagne glass along the way. he brought it to his lips.

there were no longer guests around him. perhaps they found this side of the exhibition a little too dull?

this time, ten really scoffed out loud.

the sound of footsteps echoed after the noise.

ten froze for a moment, back stiffening.

it's probably just another guest, he told himself, no need to freak out.

he brought his glass to his lips again.

but before he could so much as taste the drink on his tongue, a firm hand gripped his other wrist and yanked him down the exhibition hallway, towards the end.

ten's glass slipped from his hand at the sudden movement; he watched as it fell, tugged further and further away from it as it shattered on the ground of the exhibition with a piercing sound.

"hey!" he shouted at whoever held his wrist, thrashing his arm around in the attempt to shake loose.

it was _clearly_ very effective.

the person looked back at him, jaw clenched and eyebrows drawn.

ten stared back at johnny seo.

johnny turned away, pulling ten quicker and quicker away from the rest of the gala, into a darker, sectioned-off part of the building not designated for the gala. ten stumbled after him, mind frozen.

once they were in a separate, darkened exhibition, johnny let go of ten's wrist, only to shove him into the wall and jab his forearm into ten's throat to keep him there.

"_who_ are you and _why_ are you here?" he demanded, face only illuminated by the florescents down the hallway.

ten blinked, having to look up at johnny to meet his eyes.

_fuck, the cover is blown_.

he wisely kept his mouth shut.

"i _said_," johnny seethed, "_who are you and why are you here?_ "

his forearm pressed harder into ten's throat, and ten's hands came up automatically to clutch at it.

_screw blown_, he thought, _the cover is fucking obliterated_.

johnny dropped his forearm, grabbed a fistful of ten's lace dress shirt, and hit him hard across the face, causing him to stumble back into the wall with a soft noise of pain.

and johnny was already on him again, grabbing at the lapels of ten's suit jacket, throwing him to the floor.

ten's shoulder collided painfully with the cool tile as johnny continued, "i saw you at the funeral, and at the ring, too. and i'm not stupid, so just tell me _who fucking sent you!_ "

when ten still didn't respond, johnny crouched down, yanking ten's head up by his hair. ten glared right back at him. johnny made a sound of contempt and quickly brought his knee into the side of ten's head, sending him to the floor again.

ten rolled onto his side with a groan, head throbbing and lip stinging. johnny stood over him, a disgruntled look on his face.

blood, metallic and salty, danced down ten's lips as he looked up at the man.

"i think you know." ten spat at johnny's feet scathingly.

he slowly crept up to his feet again with the help of the wall behind him, skull throbbing as he rose.

johnny's expression morphed from anger to disbelief, to cockiness just as quickly.

"oh really?" he asked, voice lilting, "i never thought the great _qian kun_ would be so stupid as to send his men here to hide in plain sight."

"_watch your fucking__ mouth!_ " ten snarled immediately, "you don't _deserve_ to say his name!"

johnny laughed, a genuine laugh of contempt, "you're not in much of a place to be giving orders, huh?"

"i'll do what i want," ten snapped.

"we'll see about that."

johnny moved quickly, aiming to hit him again, but ten expected it now, anticipated it, and dodged quickly, ducking under johnny's arm and turning so now johnny's back was to the wall.

ten was light on his feet, ready to duck or dodge johnny's next move. he wasn't completely confident in his ability against johnny when it came to hand-to-hand. he'd rather have his knife on him to aid, but as of now, he'd have to hold out until hendery or yangyang noticed that something was wrong and got him some help.

johnny threw a punch just a little overshot, and ten quickly scrambled to get behind him, anchoring an arm around his neck, and locking it in. johnny keeled backwards, fingers grabbing at ten's arm now cutting off his airflow.

he stumbled around, and ten squeezed tighter, hoping that he could last just long enough-

suddenly, johnny bent forwards, lifting ten over his back and slamming him down into the tile, the sound echoing through the room.

the air whooshed from ten's lungs, leaving him gasping for air with his hands on his chest.

above him, johnny coughed, doubled over with a hand set gingerly on his neck, trying to regain his breathing.

ten could only wheeze, powerlessly watching johnny as he stood back up to full height.

he could easily kill ten if he wanted right now.

"you're not really a liberal arts major, are you?" johnny asked, the menace.

if ten hadn't been trying to regain the function of his lungs, he would've laughed.

"what gave it away?" ten rasped, somehow finding the ability to grin.

"hmm," johnny hummed, observing ten's powerless figure.

then, he began to walk away, leaving ten there in the darkness of the closed exhibition.

once he reached the edge of the hall, he turned and called out to ten.

"you have five minutes to get you and everybody with you out of the building," he instructed, "or you won't be leaving alive."

and he was gone, footsteps ringing in the air as he went.

ten curled onto his side, pressing his face into the tile, and closed his eyes.

_fuck._


	2. part II: the fracture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things get a little exciting! new characters! new developments!
> 
> starring: unhealthy coping mechanisms, bad decisions, and spice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo! chapter two, babey. 
> 
> i also decided to split into 5 parts instead of 4 because chapter two was starting to get a little too long lmao. 
> 
> hope y'all enjoy!

**seoul, south korea**

**12:42 am**

ten stood at the window of his bedroom, staring out across the skyline and tapping his fingers absentmindedly against the wineglass he held.

he could dimly register the murmur of conversation in the living room, yukhei and the others talking through what went wrong earlier that night.

they never said it, but the fact of it was that it was ten's fault. he was overpowered and left vulnerable, he blew their cover, and he revealed what had to be at least _part_ of kun's plan.

his partners had been nice enough to console him over it, but kun hadn't spared any such kindness when he called.

ten had been silent for most of the phone call, which consisted of him telling kun exactly what had happened, then enduring the following fifteen or so minutes of kun yelling at him, threatening him, shouting some more, and eventually, deciding what the next course of action was going to be.

he had simply muttered a quiet thanks and goodbye, and retreated to his bedroom to sulk, which is what he had been doing for the better part of three hours.

ten kept replaying the night over and over in his head, wondering how he could've possibly messed up so bad.

sure, johnny was bigger than him, but that had never stopped ten in a fight before. 

he should've been able to fight back, but johnny had somehow rendered him immobile. 

ten frowned, swirling the wine left in his glass and downing the rest of it in one drink.

the delicate glass hung between his fingers; ten's eyes caught on the lights dancing in the bend of the glass.

in a sudden rush of anger, ten hurled the glass at the wall with a guttural scream, relishing in the way it shattered with a piercing sound, instantly wishing he had more glasses to smash alongside it.

however, with no more glasses to break, he stood there, shoulders heaving as he glared at the broken fragments that now littered the carpet.

he breathed shakily, fists clenched at his side, and spun on his heel to venture into the kitchen in search of more alcohol.

when ten opened his door, hendery stood outside with a fist raised as if to knock.

"_what?_ " ten snapped, and hendery shrank back slightly.

"just- we heard you yell, wanted to make sure you were okay."

"well i'm _fine_," ten pushed past hendery and made his way to the kitchen, pulling the fridge open with more force than necessary, "so you all can keep sitting out here," he found a few bottles of soju on the bottom shelf, "while i go back to my room with _these_," he held up the bottles in his hands, "and drink myself unconscious."

hendery opened his mouth as if to object, but ten slammed the fridge door hard enough to shake it, and pushed past him with the soju before he could get out another word.

and for good measure, he slammed his bedroom door, in case the younger got any ideas about following him.

behind his door, ten moved sharply; twisting the cap off of the first soju bottle and throwing it at the window, bringing the bottle to his lips and tilting it back. 

he squeezed his eyes shut, not overly fond of the taste, but if it would help him drown out the night, he would take what he could get.

the bottle now half-empty, ten moved back over to the window, staring at the city lights again.

he thought about johnny, about the gala, about how johnny was probably gloating at the afterparties, smug and content in having caught ten in their ruse.

ten's fingers tightened around the bottle.

it was his fault. it was _all_ his fault.

stomping around the room as he drank made ten feel a fraction better, only because he felt the need to inflict the damage he'd taken earlier on something else.

his split lip stung every time he took a drink, and the bruises on his cheek throbbed no matter what he did.

strictly speaking, it was nowhere near the worst fight he had gotten into. he'd been through worse beatings, sustained worse injuries.

but he had been subdued so easily. knocked down and kept there, so easily beaten by johnny.

and kun's disappointment in him hurt more than any cut or bruise ever could.

so he drank, and drank, and drank until his head buzzed and his vision blurred.

the least he could do was try to forget about it for a little while.

three bottles of soju and another broken glass later, ten lay on his stomach across his bed, spreadeagled and shirtless.

the conversation in the living room had become quiet, or perhaps the ringing in his ears had simply become too loud for him to hear anything else.

somewhere outside, light flashed, illuminating the walls of the bedroom.

ten squinted his eyes against it.

he only vaguely registered the stinging feeling in his eyes that came with being on the cusp of crying, turning his face into the soft duvet and sighing softly, letting his alcohol-induced exhaustion take him over.

_i can fix this_, he thought absently, _i'll fix it for kun_. 

his eyelids slid shut.

when ten woke, he was under his duvet, swaddled in his sheets like a baby.

this was a significant change from the night before, though it was a little fuzzy, but ten was pretty sure he hadn't tucked himself into bed after how much he had drank.

he wondered which of his friends had taken care enough to get him into bed even after he had yelled at them.

his question was quickly answered when he sat up, sheets falling from his bare chest, and saw yukhei dozing on the love-seat to the right of the bed, curled up as small as his frame would allow so he could manage to fit with only his feet hanging off the side.

ten bit his lip, bringing a hand up to rub at his throbbing temple, grinding the heel of his palm into the side of his head in the hopes that it would lessen the aching.

suddenly, his stomach lurched.

it took all of a few seconds for everything from the night before to come rushing back in a wave of shame and nausea that had ten slipping out from under his sheets and stumbling over to the bathroom with a hand over his mouth.

he fell to his knees in front of the toilet, gagging and heaving, emptying his stomach of all the alcohol he'd drank.

_god, he had to stop drinking whenever he felt mildly upset._

ten clutched the toilet for support, paling as he did.

all the ruckus had evidently woken yukhei up; ten soon felt his friend behind him, comforting hands steady on his back, rubbing little circles as he doubled over the toilet.

"just get it all out..." yukhei mumbled, voice laced with sleep, "it's okay..."

ten finally managed to stop heaving after a few moments, taking a shuddering breath and falling back on his heels.

"_f__uck,_" he swore quietly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"you need some water," yukhei said.

ten watched as his friend stood and left the bathroom, venturing over to the nightstand to find an old glass of water.

surely the glass had been there for at least a few days, but ten welcomed anything that would help get the awful bitter taste out of his mouth.

no sooner had yukhei brought him the glass of water than ten had drained it, pulling himself to his feet and refilling it in the bathroom sink.

after another long drink, ten set the glass down and took a long, shuddering breath.

yukhei leaned against the counter, concern lacing his features.

"are you okay?" he asked quietly, taking in ten's appearance.

pale and sickly, hair sticking up every-which way, ten was sure he looked like shit.

"i'm fine," he growled, but it came out as more of a squeak. he cleared his throat and tried again, "i'm _fine_."

yukhei clearly didn't buy it, but he didn't push, either.

"okay, well," he gave a shrug, arms crossed, "the others left to get back to their own places. we'll make a plan for kun and regroup later, okay?"

ten waved him off, and yukhei turned to leave.

he paused in the doorway for a moment, as if to say something, before shaking his head and ducking out of the room.

ten wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand again and stood in front of the mirror.

his gaze sharpened as he took in his state; face still bruised, lip still split.

still weak.

he turned away.

after a cold shower, another glass of water, and a shameful twenty minutes spent cleaning up the mess he had made the night before, ten stood in the living room recounting the instructions kun had given him once he'd stopped making ten go deaf with his yelling.

they could no longer pursue johnny seo under the guise of strangers.

johnny knew who they were. he knew that kun had sent them. ten wouldn't be able to approach him anymore without johnny being immediately on alert.

somehow, kun had already had a backup plan for them.

ten hoped that it was because he was _ready_ for failure and not _expecting_ it.

despite whatever kun's motives were, they had a new objective.

they were to establish a semi-permanent place in seoul; to edge in on every bit of business that johnny seo's mafia owned.

they had already partially made an imprint at the fighting ring, but there was much more to be accomplished.

for instance: a little birdie (one of kun's new recruits, surely) had discovered a street racing syndicate within the mafia, and that was to be their next target.

the races were certainly not few or far between, but it was a bit of a task trying to pin down which race would be at which track, and when.

though the little birdie was able to pin down two names, and that was enough to go off of to find the date and location of the next race.

ten assumed yangyang and xiaojun were working at that very moment, trying to sift through all of their contacts, figuring out every little detail they needed to find out.

it was a sunday, so not much was going to be happening tonight.

or for most of the beginning of the week, at that.

ten doubted that the next race would be anytime in the next few days, which left a good chunk of time for him to sit around bored, having more existential thoughts and taking copious amounts of baths.

but he had spent enough time in these last few weeks sitting on his ass (on top of the fact that his last mission had gone terribly, terribly wrong) that now he was itching to go out and do something right.

to earn praise from kun like he used to.

he would just have to make up for last night. somehow. he had to make it up.

there just wasn't anything he could do now.

ten sighed with a weight like bricks, and made his way into the kitchen, hoping that they had a lack of _something_ that gave him an opportunity to go out and shop. 

thankfully, they were tragically low on real, actual food, which gave ten an excuse to go out and make his way to a food market a few blocks down.

it wasn't really a food market, per se, but a large, multi-story building that merely housed a grocery store on the bottom level. the rest of the stories were taken up by clothes shops, gaming cafes, and stores selling everything from electronics to mini figurines.

ten made a note to explore the entirety of the building later, but for now he would stick to getting what he needed.

he traipsed through the aisles of food lazily, a basket hanging at the crook of his elbow, eyes scanning the shelves.

noodles, sauces, different snacks to keep the cabinets stocked, all of it went into the basket.

they had been living off of delivery food and eating out since they had gotten there, and it was starting to take a toll. ten vowed to cook dinner that night.

ten left the aisles to find the produce section, humming quietly along with the music playing in the store. it was some girl group song that had been playing everywhere for the last week. probably twice, if he thought about it.

he tapped his fingers against his basket to the beat, head bowed as he scanned the rows of onions and garlic.

how many had xuxi said they needed again?

"what the hell are you doing here?"

the harsh voice had ten startling and lifting his head, spinning towards the sound

his eyes landed on a not-so-pleased-looking johnny seo, standing with his arms crossed.

ten didn't let his surprise show on his face.

it shouldn't have even been a shock, to see johnny here, at the market. 

the massive building that held the entirety of seo industries was only a few minutes drive down the street; their apartment wasn't more than ten minutes away, either. kun hadn't picked the location simply on a hunch.

the proximity to johnny's office provided excellent opportunities to keep an eye on him - like this one.

johnny, however, looked tired. the circles under his eyes had an attempt made to cover them up, but they were still slightly visible.

that aside, he was still extremely handsome, dressed neatly in dark gray slacks and a crisp white dress shirt.

but it was still messy. creased, top few buttons undone, sleeves rolled up to the elbow.

he looked like a mess.

"i _said_, what the hell are you doing here?" johnny repeated. a mess.

"same as you, i suspect," ten replied easily. when johnny didn't immediately answer, he added, "grocery shopping."

johnny scoffed quietly, stepping forward, but ten didn't budge.

"you've got some nerve showing your face in seoul after last night."

"and what are you gonna do, pretty boy?" ten snapped back, "have a rematch? we're _surrounded_ by people, seo. there's nothing you can do."

johnny looked slightly taken aback by the outburst, faltering slightly in his rigidity.

nobody was watching them, but they might as well have been by the way johnny had backed off.

ten smirked. he was beginning to see the kind of man johnny was, now that he had him alone and in public eye.

"oh, what?" ten cooed, "no men to back you up here? no jaehyun?"

johnny visibly bristled at that.

"how do you know that name?" he snapped.

"there's a lot that i know, johnny," ten smirked, "i think you'll find you're going to have a hard time keeping information out of my hands."

"you_ fucking _-" johnny hissed through his teeth, moving to maybe strike him, but ten pushed him back with a palm on his chest, wagging his other finger in johnny's face.

"uh-uh, seo. look at where we are." ten gestured around them. a few people were shooting them strange looks.

johnny took a deep breath and stepped back. ten grinned.

"that's what i thought," ten continued, taking his hand down patting the side of his basket, "now how about you let me keep shopping for noodles, you can go back to your boring little office, and we'll both be on our merry way until we meet again?"

johnny opened his mouth, but before he could speak, ten gave him a dazzling smile, patted him on the cheek, and turned on his heel, marching to the other end of the produce section.

ten didn't look back to see if johnny had moved.

johnny wouldn't follow him. ten knew the kind of man he was.

and what brilliant information that was.

ten finished his shopping with no more untimely interruptions from johnny or his men, feeling jubilant enough to walk back to the apartment with a little skip in his step, exhilarated to have knocked johnny down a few more pegs after his loss the night before.

by the time he had gotten back to the apartment and filled kun in on what had just happened, yukhei had returned from his meeting with yangyang and xiaojun, surely to bring more information regarding the street racing syndicate.

ten had just barely ended his call with kun, a satisfied smile on his face, when yukhei bustled into the kitchen with an equally ecstatic grin.

"we've got a date and location, ten!" he called out, and ten let out laugh of disbelief.

"really? already? when is it?"

"friday, right at midnight," yukhei answered earnestly, "and we got the names and profiles of two of the biggest racers, too."

ten raised an eyebrow. 

"who?"

"moon taeil and lee haechan."

over the course of the week, ten and his partners were finally able to get their hands on their weapons, kun finally having sent them in.

the street race wasn't as secure as the fighting ring had been. 

the fighting ring was right under the club, it was likely that johnny wouldn't have wanted just anybody showing up with a gun. ten had felt at least some semblance of safety there, despite the charged environment.

the race was different.

it was due to be set at a track on the outskirts of the city, some abandoned factory or another. far away from civility, far away from police, far away from laws.

and there was no telling who would show up.

ten, yukhei, and the rest would need to be prepared for anything, hence the need to have guns on hand.

as well as weapons, kun had pulled a few strings to call in a car for yangyang to drive in the race. xiaojun would be riding with him.

ten had to say he was a little jealous when he first saw the car. he was more than proficient at driving, but he understood why those two were the ones on the track. they needed the sharpest eyes to be on the sidelines, scanning the crowd for seo's men.

they all set out late that friday night, layers hiding their various weapons.

ten's gun was tucked into his waistband underneath a heavy black sweatshirt and an army bomber jacket on top. at least three other knives were hidden across his body.

yukhei had chosen his black jeans-leather jacket duo again, silver chains glinting under the lights.

the rest of the crew was dressed in a mix-match of black and white; inconspicuous and efficient. 

they drove out quietly - yangyang and xiaojun in the souped-up red muscle car, while ten and the others followed in a sleek black audi.

streetlamps and city lights passed them by as they drove, eventually morphing into greenery with the occasional lamppost.

yukhei drove, hands steady on the wheel, while ten kept his eyes on his phone screen, keeping track of the directions.

he murmured directions to yukhei, pointing out turns and curves in the road that led them further into the tree-filled countryside.

hendery and sicheng sat quietly in the backseat. ten glanced at the rear-view mirror and noticed the nervous way they tapped their fingers and sighed.

after fifteen more minutes of driving, they spotted the taillights of a new car up ahead of yangyang and xiaojun's.

ten gestured to hendery and sicheng to get ready, and sat up in his seat, observing the area around him.

they had come upon a parking lot, old and deteriorating, filled with weeds sprouting through cracks in the pavement. cars were scattered across the lot with no rhyme or reason (not that the lines separating parking spots would have been visible anyways), crowds of people sprawled out between the cars.

a haze of smoke filled the air; the scent of burnt rubber and gasoline couldn't be kept out even by the windows of the car.

beyond the parking lot, a tall structure loomed. there were two smoke stacks, half-caved into themselves, sticking out from a massive building of concrete, metal, and broken glass panes.

strictly speaking, it was the perfect place for a drag race.

booming bass was emanating from somewhere around the broken down structure, surely from one of the cars with ridiculously jacked-up stereo systems. ten rolled down his window slightly to peer outside, taking in the sight of the crowds. 

there were no visible weapons he could see yet, but that didn't mean that nobody was armed.

there were beer and soju bottles in almost every hand, cigarettes in between fingers and between lips. the stench of smoke came from everywhere. 

he rolled his window back up and gestured for yukhei to find a place to park.

ahead of them, yangyang took a thin road leading around the abandoned structure, passing by a sign that read: _racers enter here_. 

yukhei waved them off and pulled up next to some flashy car with LED lights decorating every line on the body. 

ten popped the passenger door open without a second thought, slamming it behind him and inconspicuously adjusting the pistol in his waistband.

he glanced around the lot again, waiting for yukhei, hendery, and sicheng to get out so they could find the start of the racing track.

the crowd seemed to thicken the closer to the entrance of the old factory, gathering behind what appeared to be cement roadblocks, keeping the observing crowd away from the track.

ten began to make his way over to the edge of the track, glancing behind him to make sure that the others were following. he stepped between cars and the people lounging in them eyed him as he passed.

he didn't break eye contact. it wouldn't do him well to show weakness around this crowd. ten simply strengthened his glare until they looked away, or he passed them by. 

the music grew louder as they approached the starting line, the stench of gasoline stronger.

a few cars were already lined up at the starting line; two black cars, one sleek and the other matte, some silver sports car that must've been in the garage of every millionaire, and a bright yellow car with two doors and narrow headlights.

ten leaned forward, elbows against the road block, and watched the racers and their cars.

the furthest car, the one with the matte black finish, was the only car with the racers already in their seats.

ten couldn't see their faces, but he could recognize the car.

that was moon taeil and lee haechan's car.

they were supposedly the most famous racers in the syndicate (and the most skilled as well). nicknamed sun and moon, the pair worked effortlessly together, reigning control over the track for the better part of two years.

ten knew he'd have to keep an eye on their car.

he turned to yukhei, who stood next to him.

"xuxi, see if you and sicheng can find anybody we need to watch out for. if you see johnny at _all_, let me know. i'll stay up here with hendery and keep watch over the track."

yukhei nodded, disappearing into the crowd with sicheng behind him. hendery quickly took his place next to the barricade.

"are we just waiting for yangyang and xiaojun?" he questioned ten.

ten shrugged, turning to look at hendery's anxious face.

"i don't know hendery, honestly. it's been years since i've been to a street race like this."

hendery sighed, lowering his head, and ten gave him a reassuring shoulder squeeze.

"they'll be okay, hendery. yangyang can drive like nobody's business."

the boy nodded solemnly, and ten pulled him into a quick side hug, before looking around again for familiar faces.

two men were walking up and down the barricade on the track side, seemingly checking to make sure everybody was there.

the shorter of the two was holding a clipboard of sorts, looking through the papers, reaching up to brush back his midnight black hair. in certain light, it looked almost blue, until ten looked closer and realized there were patches of blue-dyed hair interlaced with the natural black.

the man shifted slightly, and his jacket slid back, revealing the handle of a pistol. ten narrowed his eyes slightly; this was the first weapon he had seen on someone else. was he perhaps one of johnny's men? extra security?

the blonde man next to him seemed to look a little more easy-going. he had a bright smile, big eyes, and blonde hair styled up and out of his face.

recognition tugged at ten. the blonde man looked very familiar, perhaps he had been at the gala?

the two men came closer and closer as they walked the length of the track.

"... to start the race?" the black-haired man was saying, flipping papers on the clipboard, "you'll do it tonight, woo?"

"_hyung_," the blonde whined loudly, "i don't want to, i thought you said you would!"

"yeah, and that was until you spilled soju all over my papers, jungwoo," the other man retorted, "now you have to."

ten grinned as they passed, amused at their dialogue. it quite reminded him of the way that yukhei sometimes whined.

they bickered all the way back down the finish line, passing in front of a newly approaching car.

it was yangyang and xiaojun's red car, pulling up to the starting line alongside the others.

the racers that had been hanging around their cars began to get behind the wheel, starting their engines.

ten stood a bit taller, watching carefully over the furthest car.

a tap on his shoulder had him turning around quickly, but it was only yukhei coming back to relay his info.

"jaehyun is here," he muttered quietly to ten, "and lee taeyong, too."

ten's eyes flitted to where yukhei pointed.

jaehyun was standing there, dressed in sharp lines. he ducked his had slightly to talk with the man next to him, lee taeyong.

ten had heard plenty about taeyong over the years.

the man had a cover of being johnny's private assistant at the office, following him everywhere with documents and things to sign.

but his real job was the right-hand man of seo's mafia.

dangerous, ruthless, able to get intel from anywhere and everywhere when given enough time and materials, taeyong was easily one of the most powerful players on the board right now.

... and he did it all while sporting cotton-candy pink hair.

it was sort of his signature look, ten supposed. he personally wouldn't have chosen the color.

not that it was in his place to say anything about it.

ten simply observed the two, jaehyun and taeyong. 

they stood close, mere inches apart, while they conversed. ten wished he could listen in on their conversation.

behind him, the revving of engines brought his attention back to the track. all of the cars had now pulled right up to the finish line: a worn down strip of thick white paint that stretched across the road. 

ten scanned the cars and met yangyang's eyes through the windshield of his. he gave a slight nod of encouragement, which yangyang returned. 

the blonde from earlier, jungwoo, made his way back down the barricades, this time holding a small red flag in his hand.

jungwoo stopped in front of ten, shooing him away from the concrete barricade so he could clamber up on top of it, balancing easily in his thick combat boots.

he stood atop the barricade, holding the red flag high in his hand. the cloth rippled in the breeze.

ten felt the crowd draw closer behind him, cheers growing louder as the beginning of the race loomed.

the revving of the engines thrummed in the air, reverberating through ten's bones.

jungwoo didn't say anything for a moment. not that anybody would've been able to hear him over the booming music and yelling crowd, but for the fraction of a moment, he held everybody's attention.

ten tried to catch yangyang's gaze again, but the younger was staring at the red flag, watching carefully.

in a flash faster than ten could register, jungwoo snapped the flag downwards.

the squealing of tires pierced the air as each car peeled away from the starting line, leaving nothing but skid marks and smoke behind them as they took off down the road.

jungwoo waved the smoke from his face with the flag, dropping to a crouch and hopping back to level ground.

"hey," ten caught him by the arm before he could leave, "how long is the track?"

jungwoo turned, looking ten up and down with an amused smile before answering, "track's a little less than three minutes, honey. they'll be back around soon enough."

ten almost bit back a reply at the _honey_, but jungwoo had slipped his arm from his grip and disappeared into the crowd before he could get out another word.

yukhei let out a bemused laugh, while hendery simply looked worried.

ten felt the nerves creep up in him.

the track may only be three minutes, but that's three minutes of danger that ten had absolutely no control over. anything could happen out there.

"he'll be okay, hyung," yukhei tried to reassure him, but ten merely bit his lip in concern, crossing his arms tight over his chest.

the same feeling he had at the gala was sinking in his stomach. he felt that something was going to go wrong tonight.

things calmed slightly now that the cars were all off. a sort of wavering energy hung over the crowd; everybody was just waiting. waiting for the cars to return, waiting to collect their bets, waiting.

ten itched to keep a hand on his gun, just to feel more secure.

each second that passed felt longer than the next. 

after a few minutes, ten turned to yukhei.

"shouldn't they be back by now?" he demanded.

"hyung, it's only been a minute and a half. they'll be _fine_."

ten huffed, crossing his arms on the barricade and resting his chin on them.

yukhei and hendery stood by his side, their presence comforting. at least he could keep track of _them_.

speaking of...

"where's sicheng?" ten asked suddenly, turning to yukhei, who in return gave him a bewildered look.

ten darted his eyes around the crowd, searching for his missing partner among the unfamiliar faces. 

when he couldn't see sicheng, ten's mind grew frantic.

_what if something happened to sicheng, what if-_

suddenly, the sound of engines roaring began to trickle back into the night; the hair on the back of ten's neck prickled uncomfortably. 

the crowd turned manic again, pushing at the barriers and shouting encouragements or profanities. ten squinted at the far end of the road, trying to make out anything in the darkness.

_please let them be okay_, ten thought, eyes shut. _please let them be safe_.

headlights appeared down the road, one after the other, two cars neck and neck.

ten couldn't see the colors quite yet, not when the only hint of the vehicles were the headlights, burning holes through the night.

the sound of the engines grew louder and louder as they raced to the finish line. the cheers grew with them, escalating with every meter the cars gained on the pavement.

as the cars approached, ten could spot the colors; matte black and red.

they were most definitely neck and neck. 

yangyang kept pulling ahead of the matte car, but not for long.

as they raced down the last stretch of the road, ten felt every second pass like molasses, his heartbeat thundering in his ears.

the two cars drew closer and closer, the cheers growing in multitudes- they were almost at the finish line- yangyang put on one last burst of speed, and then-

a crash sounded as they passed over the finish line- the front of haechan's car had careened into the back tire of yangyang's, sending him fishtailing across the finish line and spinning out across the road.

ten felt the cry rise out of his throat before he heard it, limbs already working to get him over the barricade.

the red car spun for a moment before yangyang gained control and wrestled it to a stop on the other shoulder of the road, a little ways past the finish line. it was dented in the back but otherwise unharmed. small movement inside made ten's heart flood with relief.

still, he vaulted over the barricade, running across the street to get to their car, to make sure they were okay. but before he was even halfway across, the two were already struggling out of the car.

yangyang slammed the door behind him, moving not towards ten, but towards haechan and taeil's car where it had screeched to a halt somewhere down the road.

ten watched as haechan and taeil got out of their car too, facing yangyang and xiaojun as they approached.

yangyang stormed down the road towards haechan, and ten realized too late that the younger was aiming to start a fight.

"yangyang, don't-" he managed to get out just as the boy had reached haechan, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and sending him careening to the ground with his fist.

then, the yelling started.

taeil immediately shouted something and pushed yangyang back so hard he stumbled into xiaojun, who was behind him. haechan scrambled to his feet, reaching into his waistband for something while yangyang was distracted.

"hey!" ten yelled, tugging his gun from his belt and marching over, leveling it at haechan, who now pointed his own gun at yangyang, "i don't fucking think so."

haechan's eyes flickered between yangyang and ten, as if weighing the situation. 

taeil stood close to haechan, as if guarding him from ten and the others.

the air was quiet for a moment, the cheers having been subsided by the interest in the unfolding situation.

ten stared haechan down, the other boy glaring in response, still not lowering his gun. apprehension hung in the air.

xiaojun nudged ten's shoulder with a quiet, "_ten-hyung_."

ten spared him a glance and saw him looking back at the barricade behind them. 

lee taeyong was making his way over, with jungwoo hot on his tail, both of them holding guns.

"_fuck_," ten swore lowly, "we have to go."

yangyang and xiaojun nodded in affirmation, slowly moving back towards their car.

ten looked past taeyong and jungwoo and made eye contact with yukhei and hendery at the barrier, making sure they were watching before he shouted, "_go!_ "

then, he broke into a run, not listening to the ensuing yells from taeyong and the rest. he quickly followed yangyang and xiaojun to their car and hopped into the backseat, not bothering to buckle his seatbelt before yangyang was peeling out of the road, narrowly missing taeyong and jungwoo as he sped off towards the exit.

ten watched taeyong and jungwoo grow smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror, until yangyang turned onto a small access road and they disappeared from view.

it was quiet in the car. 

yangyang didn't speak; his knuckles were white against the steering wheel.

in the passenger seat, xiaojun stared out the window.

"should we call the others?" he asked quietly, "make sure they got out okay?"

ten nodded, setting his gun down in the seat next to him and tugging his phone from his pocket. with a few taps, he called hendery and put the phone on speaker.

hendery picked up at the third ring.

"ten?"

"hendery. are you all safe? is sicheng there?" ten demanded immediately, thankful to hear his voice.

"we're safe," hendery said, at the same time sicheng's voice called out, "i'm here."

ten felt a weight lift off his shoulders, breathing out a sigh of relief and collapsing back into the seat.

"thank god," he muttered, rubbing his temple.

"yangyang and xiaojun? they're okay?" hendery questioned.

ten nodded, but upon realizing hendery couldn't see him, let out a quiet, "mhm."

now it was hendery's turn to sigh in relief.

"that's good."

there was a pause. ten felt the subdued quiet in his veins.

"we'll meet you at the apartment, okay ten-_ge?_ "

"that sounds good, hendery," ten confirmed, wanting to see them all just to make sure that they were all safe and alive.

he thought about them. each and every one of his partners.

yukhei, hendery, sicheng, yangyang, and xiaojun.

how he would never be able to handle it if anything had happened to a single one of them.

"you guys might want to stay the night," ten added.

he wanted to keep them close tonight.

ten's fear of losing his friends (more like brothers) was always a part of why he sometimes faltered.

why sometimes he thought that maybe he was never cut out for the mafia business.

he was terrified of death and dying. more specifically, his friends all dying around him.

when it had been just him and kun, brothers in arms, rising up the ranks, ten had felt invincible. like nothing could ever touch him. because he and kun had eachother's backs, through and through.

but that night brought all of those false dreams and hopes crashing down.

the night that kun had committed atrocities, and dragged ten's hands through the blood and carnage he created.

that was the start of it.

and when ten met yukhei, it worsened.

here was another boy, this time younger than him, that he could call a brother.

but every time kun lost his temper or yelled, all that ten could think of was that night, and the fear that accompanied it. 

he never wanted something like that to happen to yukhei.

so he began to fear for yukhei's life.

in secret of course, on his own time. but he feared nonetheless.

as kun began to expand his kingdom, he began to send them on more and more dangerous errands.

a narrow escape that left yukhei hospital-bound had nearly been the end of it. ten sat by his side in the hospital room, tear-stricken and writing a note on hospital stationary that he was going to leave for kun.

it explained that he couldn't do it anymore. he couldn't kill and threaten his way through life, hoping and praying that he would live another day.

that kun would understand. that he wouldn't pursue him, and that he would trust ten to go his own way.

but just as he signed the note, kun had walked in.

kun had regarded yukhei for a moment, eyes warm, before sitting next to ten and handing him a cup of coffee from the hospital lobby.

ten held the cup in his cold hands, letting the heat seep into his skin.

kun had nodded silently, sat back in his chair, and watched over yukhei.

ten had sipped his coffee, excused himself to the bathroom, and flushed the shredded pieces of his note down the toilet.

that day wasn't the right one. he couldn't just leave yukhei. he couldn't leave for himself.

but that had never changed his fear.

as soon as yukhei had recovered, they were back out on the streets, the day of his hospital discharge.

then, a little further into that year, ten had been introduced to hendery.

and his fear increased tenfold.

hendery was much too young to be in a place like this, and ten longed to get him out of it.

he couldn't go back and do the same for himself, but he didn't want hendery to follow the same path.

the boy began to feel like a younger brother that ten had to protect, to keep out of harm's way and guide to a better life.

but hendery had been adamant about joining, and there wasn't much ten could do to combat that without drawing kun's attention.

so he protected hendery where he could.

which is exactly why, despite being completely exhausted, ten still sat awake on a chair in the living room, watching the steady rise and fall of hendery's chest as he slept curled up on the sofa.

just to remind himself that hendery was alive.

yukhei and the rest of them were spread across the living room, the floor covered in blankets and pillows as they slept side-by-side.

ten curled up in between the arms of a loveseat, head cushioned by his arms, watching over everybody.

he was reassured by their mere presence, knowing that they were all here.

alive.

together.

ten let his head drop, overcome with exhaustion. they were safe.

he could rest.

for now.

by the next morning, ten had shoved his feelings down his throat again.

he couldn't afford to worry about his teammates. not when they were this close to johnny seo.

ten knew how dangerous this was for all of them. he knew the risks. 

so, when the others left the following morning, ten willed down his worry and focused on what they learned the previous night.

lee taeyong had been there. that was a new addition.

ten had never personally met taeyong before, but based on what he had heard about the man, he wasn't sure he wanted to.

though, he supposed he would probably have to face him sooner or later if he was going to get to johnny.

that was another part of kun's plan. since johnny had found them out so easily, ten's job was to make his presence painfully known to johnny, but never to initiate any sort of conflict. 

ten was supposed to test the waters and see how weak johnny and his mafia were in the wake of his father's death.

so far, johnny still seemed to be standing tall, but ten wasn't so sure.

when ten had caught him alone in the market, johnny had seemed scared, almost.

ten wondered what would happen if he caught him alone again.

he would make that his next job.

which meant it was time to head back out into the streets to find johnny again.

sicheng had been keeping tabs on johnny's whereabouts since he had arrived with the others, which provided an immense amount of help in determining where johnny was going to be on any given day.

on a temperate saturday morning like this, johnny was likely to be out shopping, spending the endless amount of laundered money he made off of the mafia in the high-end stores at the mall complex.

or so sicheng told him.

ten wasn't entirely sure where or who he was getting his information from, but it made sense so far, so he wasn't about to question it.

after the others left, he dressed quickly in a soft, baby-blue v-necked sweater and black skinny jeans before letting yukhei know he was going out for the day, and not to expect him back for a few hours.

the mall was close enough to walk to, so ten took the sidewalk down the busy street, stopping by a cafe first to grab an iced americano to drink on the way.

it was safe enough to assume that johnny might be in the area. it was close to the office building he owned, and based on what sicheng had said, ten was most likely to catch him out and about.

ten wished he'd had the kind of free-time back home in shanghai to go out shopping every weekend. unfortunately, blowing money on luxury clothes was not on kun's weekly itinerary.

but there was nothing stopping him from spending a little extra cash today, so he was going to make the most of it.

the first story of the building was just a food market, so ten moved up to the second floor to find all of the stores.

quite a few people roamed around the second story, mostly students hanging out and doing some shopping on their weekend away from school.

ten sipped his americano lightly as he made his way across the open floor, searching for a store that might catch his eye.

it ended up being a perfume store that he explored first, walking idly through the aisles and testing different fragrances to see what suited him best.

after several bottles (and some coughing), ten selected a floral scent, bringing the bottle up to the register to check out.

his eyes strayed to the atrium of the mall as the girl behind the counter swiped his card.

no johnny, as far as he could see.

ten would keep shopping for now. he had an excuse and an opportunity to get a new wardrobe. he wasn't going to just sit and wait for johnny to show up. 

the girl handed him his receipt, and ten bowed in thanks before striding off to the next store, this one a jewelry place.

he looked around for a while, absently fiddling with the silver piercings in his ears, before deciding he didn't need any more accessories for his ears, and making his way across the atrium to find a clothing store.

the store he found was the largest in the building, looking more like a department store than anything. 

the aisles were spread wide, providing ten more than enough of a selection to look through.

for nearly an hour, ten traipsed through the store, folding clothes over his forearm to carry to the dressing room while he browsed.

he hummed, taking down a sweatshirt and studying the design on the back, before laying it on top of the rest of the clothes he had grabbed.

with a few shirts, a pair of jeans, and a new sweatshirt to try on, ten asked a passing worker where the dressing rooms were, following where she pointed.

just before he rounded the corner to the dressing rooms, someone turned the corner first, running straight into ten, who stumbled backwards, off-balance.

"sorry!" a warm voice said, and ten felt hands quickly grabbing his arms to steady him. he stepped back and looked up, catching the tail end of johnny seo's face morphing into a disgruntled look.

"why the fuck are you still here?"

ten brushed off the sleeves of his sweater where johnny had touched him, huffing indignantly.

"i have every right to be here, seo."

johnny looked as if he wanted to roll his eyes, but he maintained some semblance of professionalism instead, saying, "and i thought i told you to get the fuck out of seoul."

ten feigned racking his brain for the memory.

"hmm. can't recall that. sorry _honey,_ i'm here to stay."

johnny stood taller at that, but ten didn't step away.

"so what are you going to do, _ten?_ just follow me around like a dog all day?" johnny jabbed, and ten was sure he showed a visible reaction to johnny knowing his name.

his suspicion was confirmed when johnny smirked, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"what? you don't think i can get my hands on information too?" a laugh broke through his words. "i know you were at the race last night, too. you and that yukhei boy."

ten scoffed, more at the fact johnny had called yukhei a 'boy' than anything, but it also covered up his growing tension.

johnny wasn't supposed to know these kinds of things. how did he learn his name? or yukhei's for that matter?

"of course i was at the race," ten covered easily, "i had to meet the sun and moon for myself, didn't i?"

"and almost get into a shoot out while you were at it, huh?"

of course taeyong had told johnny all about it.

"let me guess," ten hummed, tapping his finger to his lip, "a little birdie named lee taeyong?"

johnny gave a grin dripping with sarcasm.

"how did you know." he deadpanned.

ten mimed flipping long hair over his shoulder.

"i have my ways."

"oh, _i'll bet you do_."

their standoff came to a pause. ten shifted where he stood, adjusting the clothing hanging on his arm.

johnny stiffened his back, drawing up his height (as if he didn't have five inches on ten already).

ten glared, maintaining eye contact through the silence, willing johnny to look away first.

it was hard to look him in the eye, when there were so many more alluring features that johnny had.

and _yes_, ten _was_ aware that johnny was practically supposed to be his sworn enemy. but ten _also_ had eyes. eyes that would have to be blind to not see just how attractive johnny really was.

so many things about his features were soft, welcoming.

from his calm dark eyes, to his soft brown hair, to his plush and pink lips (that curled naturally at the sides, ten noticed), everything about johnny seo was attractive.

aside from everything he was and stood for, obviously.

ten knew how to keep himself in check, simply by reminding himself that johnny had beat him in a fight in under five minutes. the anger that remained from that night helped staunch any fluttery feelings he may have gotten from looking at johnny seo.

suddenly, a voice called from around the corner, "johnny! hyung! where'd you go?"

someone came around the corner, nearly running into johnny in surprise, a few bags in his hands

"oh! there you are!" lee taeyong said, his pink hair making him unmistakable, "and who's- oh. _you_."

taeyong's soft and glittery eyes turned sharp as his gaze fell on ten.

ten rolled his eyes at taeyong's aggressiveness.

"whatever. i was just leaving, anyways. right, johnny?" ten sent the taller man a wink, just to spite him.

johnny held out a hand towards taeyong to take some of the bags he carried, ignoring ten.

"everything in here?" he asked his 'secretary'. taeyong nodded in response, finally looking away from ten.

ten finally began to back away once he realized that the conversation was definitely over. he turned his back on the pair, waltzing down the aisle with a swing in his hips.

"i'll be seeing you later, johnny seo!" he called out without looking back. 

no response came back.

of course, ten recounted the story with a pout later that evening over dinner, upset that he wasn't able to learn much.

"i mean, i can't follow him around when taeyong is there, can i? that messes _everything_ up."

yukhei nodded in sympathy.

"but hey," he comforted ten, patting his shoulder, "at least you got some perfume and new clothes, yeah?"

"yeah, i suppose," ten replied glumly.

he really had been hoping to tail johnny a little longer. maybe he would've been able to find out some things, or learn something new about johnny that he could use to his advantage later.

it was true, johnny knowing ten and the others' names was a slight blow.

though, it wasn't hard to imagine that johnny had a team of people that were just as capable of going underground to sniff out info as they were.

ten shuddered at the thought that he may have already run into johnny's men without even realizing it.

"what if you take another bath, huh?" yukhei offered, "no drowning this time?"

ten shoved at yukhei's chest, and the younger flashed a brilliant smile.

"yeah, yeah," ten seceded, "i'll go take a bath."

ten pushed away from the table and began to make his way down the hall when yukhei stopped him with a call of his name.

"oh, and ten?"

"what?"

"kun called. said he might be sending us back to the fighting ring soon."

ten paused, biting his lip in thought.

kun was going to send them back there by direct orders? 

what was he hoping to find out?

as if there wasn't already enough for ten to worry about.

without voicing any of this thoughts, ten nodded.

"okay."

as it turned out, to qian kun, 'soon' meant that very evening.

ten had barely had a few hours to lay down and relax after his bath before yukhei was knocking at his doorframe, letting him know he had to get dressed to go out again.

ten rolled out of his bed with a groan, disheartened that he would have to get all dolled-up twice in one day. he'd already wiped off all his makeup and washed his face, too!

he sighed, examining his skin in the bathroom mirror.

he would freshen up with some eye makeup, but there was absolutely no way he was putting on any more foundation.

still, he didn't put that much effort into dressing, either.

if kun had given them a last-minute mission to run, ten was going to run it in comfort.

he pulled on the sweatshirt he had bought earlier that day and decorated his neck with a simple black choker, checking his hair in the mirror to ensure it fell over his forehead correctly.

yukhei called for ten impatiently, and ten gave his reflection one more once-over before flicking his lights off and meeting his friend in the living room.

"you got everything?" yukhei asked him, shrugging on his leather jacket again (ten swears, he never wears anything else out).

ten pulled his knife from its sheath that was hooked on the belt-loop of his black jeans, double-checking the blade before sliding it back in its place.

he then patted his pockets to make sure that his phone was there, then nodded at yukhei.

"ready."

it didn't take them long at all to make it back to the fighting ring.

ten still hovered behind yukhei's taller figure as they pushed through the crowd once more.

he couldn't say he was terribly fond of the claustrophobic mass of people; coupled with the booming music and the smell of sweat in the air, it definitely wasn't his favorite place to be.

but, kun had sent them here, so here they would stay.

yukhei had informed ten on the drive over that he would be fighting again tonight, as to avoid any unnecessary surprises like last time. 

ten, albeit still a little miffed, thanked yukhei for letting him know ahead of time.

as they passed through the crowd, ten wondered if mark lee was going to be here again tonight.

or if yukhei hoped he was.

mark was a good match for yukhei, a worthy opponent, so to speak.

watching them fight last time was intriguing. yukhei was bigger and stronger, but mark was faster. he knew how to use his small stature to his advantage (a trait that ten both had and admired). 

to watch them fight again, without having to worry about being found out, would surely prove to be a show.

suddenly, ten didn't feel so resentful towards kun for sending them here again.

once ten could catch a glimpse of the people inside the ring, it wasn't hard to tell that one of them was mark lee.

and, surprise, surprise, he was winning, yet again.

mark looked a little worse for wear than the last time they saw him. he had a more bruised-up face, blood pouring instead of dripping from his nose, chest heaving with exhaustion. the wraps on his knuckles had blood stained into them.

the man he fought looked worse, naturally. mark was an ace. ten wasn't sure he would believe his ears if someone had told him mark had lost a single fight.

and in the next minute, mark proved him right.

the cheers of the crowd went wild as soon as the other man hit the floor, out and down for the count.

mark took a few shuddering breaths, wiping his nose on the back of his hand and spitting at the feet of the other man, who didn't move an inch.

a few disgruntled looking men from the crowd crouched around the guy, helping him to his feet while his head lolled back and forth.

yukhei whistled in awe, which drew mark's attention.

he turned, holding a cloth in his hand to wipe away the rest of the blood.

"ah!" he greeted yukhei with a bloody grin, moving across the circle to chat freely, "it's you again. i was wondering if you were going to come back."

yukhei bowed his head slightly, "yeah, i got held up."

mark nodded solemnly, as if relating to yukhei.

"happens to the best of us," mark said, dabbing the cloth at his bloody nose, "you here to fight again?"

ten watched their casual exchange with interest. they talked as if they had seen each other more than once before.

"well, i was hoping so, but you look pretty beat."

mark shook his head adamantly, "nah, man, just give me a few minutes and i'll be all ready to hop back in."

yukhei held his hands up, "alright man, whatever you say."

mark's eyes hardened a little at that, as if not being taken seriously was troubling.

"give me two minutes, yeah?"

yukhei nodded in agreement.

"sounds fine to me."

mark turned away, disappearing into the crowd across the circle, the patrons barely making an effort to part for him.

still, ten watched as mark made his way to a door in the corner, presumably a door that led up to the club. he followed mark's movements all the way up until mark shut the door behind him.

then, he turned on yukhei.

"is this going to be just another friendly spar?"

yukhei shrugged, "all kun said was to 'make an impact'. i guess it wouldn't hurt to try to win against mark."

ten thought about the two men he had seen mark beat. bloodied and unconcious.

what if that happened to yukhei?

he quickly shook himself out of that mindset. yukhei was often a better fighter than ten gave him credit for.

before he could say anything else, yukhei slid out of his leather jacket, handing it to ten.

"hold this for me?"

"always," ten snickered, folding the material over his arm and holding it close.

underneath, yukhei wore a blank white tank-top, and ten couldn't help but think of how bright the blood would look contrasting the fabric.

as they awaited mark's return, yukhei stretched out his arms, flexing, while ten silently laughed at his display.

he didn't know who on earth yukhei was trying to show off for. ten almost considered teasing him, but ultimately decided against it.

however, true to his word, mark was back in a matter of minutes, face cleaned up and fresh wraps around his knuckles.

he stepped back into the circle to the sound of cheers, warming up with a few practice punches in the air.

yukhei chuckled, made sure ten still had his jacket, and entered the circle opposite mark.

ten felt the tension start to seep into the air, pouring from the look mark and yukhei shared. the crowd around him had a sort of crazed energy.

something told him that tonight wasn't going to be a spar. they were both in it to win for this one. one of them was leaving the circle unconscious.

mark had lost what appeared to be his good-natured smile, replaced now by a look of grim determination as he readied his fists.

yukhei stepped into a loose stance, light and quick on his feet, despite his broad frame.

ten nearly flinched at the action, afraid that any movement yukhei or mark made would set the fight in motion.

he wanted to call out to yukhei, to ask him not to fight, but he couldn't possibly draw his partner into his own fear.

it wouldn't be fair to him. it wasn't yukhei's fault that ten was recklessly terrified for his friends' well-being. 

so he stayed silent, tightening his grip on yukhei's leather jacket and watching the two boys with nervous eyes.

there was a pause - so brief and silent that ten wondered if it had even happened - and mark was already across the circle in the blink of an eye, striking yukhei across the face.

ten let out an audible gasp, backing up with the rest of the crowd as yukhei staggered back slightly before ducking under mark's next swing, using his lower stance to shove the other boy away so he could have a few seconds to gather himself.

they circled around for a moment before mark was moving again, ducking under a punch that yukhei threw, but ultimately losing ground as he caught a hit to the chest with a slight grunt of pain.

yukhei didn't waste any time, following mark across the circle and tackling him around the waist, taking them both down onto the hard cement.

mark tried to scramble out from under yukhei, but the other boy had him in a tight hold, striking him a few times in the face before mark bucked yukhei off of him and rolled away, hopping to his feet with a weary look.

his nose had started bleeding again (ten wondered if mark was going to end up with a permanent stream of red staining his upper lip, since he seemed to have a bloody nose more often than not).

ten clenched his fists, watching with furrowed brows.

the two in the circle were panting already, chests heaving as they moved around with light steps.

yukhei stepped forward again, but mark quickly dropped, kicking out the back of yukhei's knees, sending him crashing to the ground.

he didn't move quick enough to avoid the kick that mark aimed at his ribs, letting out a cry and curling over at the impact. he took a few more kicks, each one making ten flinch harder than the one before it, before yukhei suddenly lurched up, snagging mark's leg mid-kick and pulling him down with him.

ten felt his temples throb at the way mark's head collided with the hard ground below him; the sound mark let out almost made ten tremble.

while his opponent was incapacitated, yukhei got up to a kneel, holding his ribs with one hand, a grimace on his face.

it was clear in his expression that a rib (or two) was broken.

and that he intended to return the favor.

yukhei struggled to his feet, towering over mark, who lay on the ground.

the crowd yelled for yukhei, calling for him to finish the fight, to knock him out, to do _something_.

his expression was unreadable.

ten couldn't take his eyes off of mark, who had his hands against his head, eyes shut tight against the pain.

once again, it reminded ten painfully of hendery.

too young. too brave. too fragile for a place like this.

yukhei moved so he stood over mark's body; ten watched fearfully, a tiny part of his brain clamoring to do something. yukhei started to move, a quick, silent motion that had mark curling away from yukhei's shadow, and-

suddenly, ten was falling, wrenched away from the circle by someone with a grip on the hood of his sweatshirt, dragging him backwards away from the light.

ten's outcry was lost in the cheers of the crowd, but his eyes were no longer on the fight, but desperately searching above him to get a look at whoever was hauling him back.

his hands scrambled to loosen the neck of the sweatshirt that pressed against his throat, the feeling of his air supply being ever-so-slightly weakened made him cough and gag.

it was only a few moments before he was released, tossed to the ground like a heavy bag, his back hitting the cement by the stairwell entrance of the ring.

it only took a moment after that for ten to roll over and jump to his feet, back against the wall behind him.

in the low light, it still wasn't hard to see who stood between him and the fighting ring.

"i told you, you shouldn't have come back here," johnny seo shook his head with a little _tsk tsk tsk_. 

ten eyed him wearily, hand lingering protectively at his throat.

"and you just stretched out my new sweatshirt, _asshole_," ten responded brashly.

johnny laughed at that, though is was much more of an exhaled smile than any real laugh. the hair on the back of ten's neck stood.

"oh, ten," johnny's voice was barely audible over the crowd, "you've got a lot more to worry about than that."

ten weighed his options.

johnny stood between him and yukhei, who he couldn't even see from where johnny had dragged him. and knew damn well he wouldn't be able to fight johnny surrounded by people who worked for him.

that only left one option.

ten ran.

he turned on his heel and sprinted through the open doorway to the stairwell leading to the alley above, taking the steps two at a time until he emerged into the empty alleyway.

a steady rain had begun to fall, turning the usually drab streets into reflections of the neon signs above. 

ten footsteps splashed as he ran down the alley, not even thinking twice about the turns he took. he could hear johnny behind him, footsteps gaining quickly.

_who was he kidding?_ johnny could (and would) easily outrun him, especially in an unfamiliar area like this.

his only option was to turn and fight.

ten took another sharp turn, curving around a corner and stepping into a small alcove.

there, slightly hidden in the darkness and rain, ten felt for his knife, sliding it from its sheath and flicking it open.

he tilted his head towards the open alley, listening for johnny's incoming footsteps through the pattering of the rain. ten's bangs began to stick to his forehead, matted down in his eyes by the water.

it was only a few more seconds, the time unusually stretched, that he had to wait for johnny to catch up with him.

just as johnny turned the corner, ten leaped from his hiding spot, slashing with his knife in an arc.

johnny let out a shout of pain, instinctively lowering his arm to cradle the new cut, leaving him open for ten to strike him across the cheek.

the taller man stumbled backwards, disoriented by the rain and distracted by the cut in his arm.

ten stepped back, knife clutched in his fist as he anticipated playing the defense. 

the rain washed the blood from the knife in rivulets down his bare forearm, soaked sleeves pushed up to the elbow.

johnny's crisp white dress shirt had become drenched-through within minutes, sleeve stained with blood where ten had cut him.

his face was illuminated by a nearby motel sign, the flashing blue and yellow neon lights only giving ten bits of detail of johnny's expression.

"you can't win this fight, ten," johnny called out, still holding his arm, "you know that, right?"

ten let out an airy laugh, "oh, i wouldn't call that so soon, seo. look who's talking."

just to show off, he twirled his knife between his fingers, the light catching on the blade.

but johnny's gaze wasn't focused on ten's knife. he was looking at _him_. at his face, his eyes.

ten felt goosebumps prickle up his arms and legs, and he didn't think it was because of the rain.

"i wouldn't be so sure of that, ten," johnny drawled, a lazy smile on his face. adrenaline rushed through ten's body at those words, and he zeroed in at the movement of johnny's hands reaching for the back of his waistband.

a startled cry leapt from ten's throat and he lunged forward, hands connecting with johnny's wrist just as he pulled the pistol from his waistband.

ten shoved up against johnny's wrist, pointing the gun above his shoulder and down the alleyway just as johnny's finger reached the trigger.

a loud _bang!_ errupted throughout the alley, echoing down the hollow streets, an aftershock of thunder.

ten instinctively curled away from the sound, his ear left only with a ringing sound as he wrangled for control of the gun.

they struggled against each other for a moment, johnny trying to aim at ten and ten desperately trying to point it anywhere else besides himself.

suddenly, johnny brought his elbow down against ten's nose - who released his hold with a cry, staggering slightly at the pain in his ear and nose.

however, johnny held the gun high, leaving his knees completely open for ten to take out from the side with a tackle.

the gun clattered from johnny's hands when he hit the ground, sliding a few feet away into a puddle. when he reached for it, ten pressed the heel of his boot into his arm - he arm with the cut in it, if johnny's yelp was anything to go by.

ten was now practically sitting on johnny; knee planted in his chest and boot keeping his arm pinned to the ground.

the rain continued, surrounding them in a world of suspended water.

neither of them had their weapons.

no knife, no gun.

"you were saying, seo?" ten smirked, shifting his weight.

ten was already congratulating himself on getting to this point.

at the gala, johnny had beaten ten in a matter of seconds, simply because he had caught him off guard.

now, they were fighting in ten's court. and it was his turn.

johnny blinked up at ten, expression aggravated and pained. rain spattered across his cheeks. one of them was bruising already.

of course, ten should have known not to celebrate too early.

johnny bucked his hips up, dislodging ten from his place, and rolled to the side, taking ten with him.

ten slammed into the asphalt, head throbbing and ears still ringing.

johnny quickly pushed ten away, putting distance between them before he lunged for the gun that sat several feet down the road.

ten got to his feet with the help of the wall beside him, steadying himself before johnny's fingers closed around the grip of the gun.

just as johnny turned, gun in hand, ten made split-second decision.

he whirled around in a wide kick, aiming just high enough for his heel to collide with the gun, knocking it from johnny's hand again.

time seemed to slow as the gun arced through the rain, sailing across the alleyway.

in the same millisecond that johnny had elected to chase after the gun, ten noticed a glint in the street.

his knife.

ten ran for his weapon, swiping it from the ground and running after johnny.

he couldn't even see where the gun had landed but he knew he had to stop johnny from getting to it again.

he reached out for johnny's arm, making a blind grab at him-

his fingers just barely closed around johnny's wrist.

time sped up again.

ten wrenched johnny from his sprint, nails digging into his arm.

johnny stumbled backwards with a yell, losing his balance and nearly toppling over at the clothesline way in which ten grabbed him.

however, johnny used the momentum to step in close, taking the front of ten's sweatshirt in his hand and pushing him back against the brick wall.

instinctively, ten raised his knife, the point sitting at the middle of johnny's throat.

they froze for a moment, barely inches apart.

ten could feel johnny's warm breath fanning over his face, a sharp contrast to the frigid rain around them.

their eyes met, wary.

johnny's fist pressed hard at the base of ten's neck, fabric of the sweatshirt clenched in his fingers.

ten's eyes trailed down to the point where the tip of his knife made a slight indent in johnny's throat. not deep enough to cut, but enough to keep johnny from trying anything.

they still hadn't moved.

why johnny hadn't made another move yet, ten wasn't sure.

_he_ most certainly wasn't about to cut johnny's throat; kun would probably kill him if he killed johnny too soon.

but johnny didn't have any authority figure to listen to, did he?

there was nothing stopping him from taking ten's knife and killing him right here, in this dark and damp alleyway.

so why didn't he?

ten shifted under johnny's grip; johnny's eyes followed the movement.

his eyes flicked from ten's eyes to his mouth.

_oh?_ ten felt a slight smirk form on his lips. _that's interesting_.

it was no secret that johnny had found ten attractive.

that first night at the bar had told ten many things. johnny's hand on his thigh, buying him a drink, talking in a low, sultry voice.

but ten hadn't considered the fact that johnny would still think that way, not after ten had blown his cover and revealed who he was, who he _worked for_.

yet here johnny was, unabashedly staring at ten's lips while he had him pressed up against the wall.

like he said.

_interesting._

there was something he could try, with this newfound information.

ten slowly drew his hand away from johnny's neck, trailing the knife delicately down his throat until it no longer pressed against his bare skin.

he felt johnny's grip on his sweatshirt loosen slightly.

then, with johnny's guard slightly lowered, ten stood on his tip-toes and leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

it was quiet for a moment.

johnny's lips were plush and wet from the rain, and for a split second ten had the thought of wanting to kiss them forever.

but he drew back just as quickly, flattening back up against the wall behind him.

ten watched johnny's expression from hooded eyes, amused at the way he could see johnny's thoughts racing behind his eyes.

realistically speaking, ten had a fifty-fifty chance.

and he'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't have a preference for what johnny would do.

quicker than ten could register, johnny was tightening his grip on ten's sweatshirt, and he reflexively closed his eyes, expecting johnny to hit him again, but instead-

ten let out a startled noise at the base of his throat as johnny kissed him hard, his free hand coming up to cup ten's jaw.

albeit surprised, ten responded eagerly. he tilted his head slightly, raising his hand to run his fingers through johnny's hair (his knife didn't leave his other hand, though. ten wasn't _stupid_).

johnny kissed him harder at that, hands tracing down his chest and settling at his hips, pulling ten closer by the belt-loops of his black jeans.

a soft noise escaped ten's throat, and he let his head fall back slightly, letting johnny's lips move down his jaw to his neck.

johnny nipped at ten's pulse point, teeth on skin.

goosebumps shivered up ten's arms; electricity tingled low in his stomach.

"fuck," he breathed out lightly, flinching at the still-falling rain while johnny kissed and bit at his neck, "fuck, _johnny_."

at the sound of his name, johnny pulled away. ten let out a whine at the loss of contact, eyes fluttering open.

johnny watched him for a moment, rain trickling down his face and plastering his bangs to his forehead.

he seemed to be contemplating something, but ten couldn't be sure what.

suddenly, johnny spoke: "my place."

it wasn't quite a question, but ten could see the uncertainty in his eyes.

looking back, ten should have refused.

he should've shoved johnny away, taken his knife and the gun with him, and fucked off back to wherever yukhei was and gone home.

but instead, ten pushed forward again, stowing his knife away and tugging johnny back into a kiss, mumbling a quiet '_let's go _' against his lips.

some voice in the back of his head told him that he could easily spin the story in a way that kun would understand, that this was okay, that he wasn't making a massive mistake by going home with _johnny seo_.

but it was johnny who had asked ten to come with him.

and really, who was ten not to oblige him?

the taxi drive to johnny's place was a blur of lips and tongue, hands under shirts and fingers tugging on hair.

before ten knew it, he was being pushed up against the wall in johnny's dining room, some thirty stories up in the loft of a high-rise apartment complex.

johnny had made quick work of ten's sweatshirt, pulling it up over his head and tossing it somewhere on the table behind him.

ten tried to unbutton johnny's shirt with just as much speed, but johnny was making that continually difficult by dipping his fingers under the waistband of ten's jeans, trailing his fingers across sensitive skin.

ten's fingers stopped a few buttons down, faltering as he shuddered under johnny's touch.

that was enough to make johnny breathe out a laugh, his grin sharp as a blade.

it was only another moment before johnny was pulling ten into the bedroom, loosening the buttons on his sleeves and tugging his shirt over his head.

the bedroom was dim, but the city lights below brought enough of a glow for ten to see the outline of johnny's chest when he removed his undershirt.

ten grinned at johnny, slipping his jeans down his thin hips and settling down on the bed.

the light from outside just barely illuminated johnny's hooded eyes as he watched ten (now only clad in his briefs and black choker necklace) lay back against the downy pillows.

he lay there like an invitation, hands resting above his head, open and spread out for johnny.

johnny moved quickly, stumbling out of his pants quick as he could before he joined ten, pulling the shorter into a heated kiss as he settled between his legs.

ten gasped at the feeling of johnny between his legs, the pressure simultaneously too much yet not enough.

the taller ground his hips into ten's, eliciting a quiet whine. ten grabbed at johnny's shoulders, fingertips tracing his protrouding collarbones.

he would make marks there, if he would.

ten was in ecstasy.

it just so happened that ten was also incredibly impatient.

after a moment, ten lifted from the bed slightly, rolling them over so he had johnny pressed into the bed, pinned there by ten straddling his lap.

johnny's hands immediately settled on ten's hips again, secure and sturdy.

ten leaned into his grip, grinding down and relishing in the groan johnny let out.

slowly, ten crept one hand down and began to push his briefs down over his ass, not missing the way johnny's eyes followed the motion.

he laughed airily when johnny slid his hands back and grabbed his ass, squeezing slightly.

"hmm, not yet, baby," ten purred, guiding johnny's hands back to his hips, "you can't touch until i say."

although johnny's hands were painfully close to his dick, johnny followed what he said, only touching where ten said he could. 

ten had to say he admired that.

so he spared the teasing, leaning forward until his lips were next to johnny's ear.

"where's your things, honey?"

johnny didn't waste a second pointing to his nightstand.

ten grinned, leaning over and pulling the drawer open.

inside was nothing but a glasses case, a headband, a pistol, and of course, condoms and lube.

ignoring the gun, ten grabbed a condom and the bottle of lube, taking only a second to open the lid before spreading some of the cool gel on his fingers.

johnny's fingers twitched against his hipbones, itching to touch, but not allowed to.

ten almost made fun of johnny's defeated expression.

of _course_ the other man had wanted to prep ten himself.

it wasn't that ten didn't necessarily trust johnny (_he didn't_ ) but he wasn't about to let the man who was going to kill him an hour ago put his fingers in his ass.

ten figured that was a fair risk to avoid, even if he was going to let johnny fuck him thoughtless in a few minutes.

there was a grey area, or whatever.

goosebumps prickled over ten's skin when he touched his fingers to his entrance, the cool gel a stark contrast from johnny's warmth.

he steadied his other hand on johnny's chest before slowly pushing one finger in.

ten was still a little loose from earlier (if ten's afternoon bath took a little longer than usual, nobody needed to know), but he still whined at the stretch of one finger.

johnny ground up against ten's dick, sending a jolt of electricity to the pit of ten's stomach, a stupid smirk on his face.

_two can play that game, seo_, he thought, sliding the hand on johnny's chest down to his dick and gripping him tight.

johnny bucked slightly, letting out a strained groan, fingers turning ten's skin red where he held him.

ten exhaled quickly, throwing his head back as he fingered himself.

it wasn't long before he was slipping his finger out and adding more lube, messy in his haste to get two fingers in.

ten buckled slightly, biting his lip to keep from getting too loud from just two fingers.

johnny moved his hands from ten's hips, taking ten's face in his hands and pulling him down for a kiss.

ten moaned quietly at the feeling, leaning into johnny's lips.

he felt boneless in johnny's grip, only able to stay sitting up because of the steady hands against his body.

it was only a moments later that ten slipped in a third finger, biting his lip at the stretch. he pressed his face into johnny's neck, unable to focus on fingering himself and kissing johnny at the same time.

he panted, breath hot against johnny's skin, while johnny let his hands slide down to ten's bare chest, pinching at his nipples.

the feeling of overstimulation had ten seeing stars.

his stomach tightened, and he quickly pulled his fingers out with a gasp, whining out a low "_fuck_." he didn't want to come too soon.

ten wiped his fingers against the bedsheets, rolling off of johnny so he could get his briefs all the way down his legs.

just as ten kicked his underwear off, he turned to see johnny pushing his underwear down.

if ten was any less in control of himself, his jaw would've dropped.

to say johnny had a nice dick would be an understatement.

ten knew fully that he'd be sore tomorrow, and yukhei would ask questions, but it would be worth it.

he was at a point where he couldn't generally afford to enjoy the finer things in life, so he had to take these opportunities when they were presented to him.

such as getting fucked by johnny seo.

ten reached for the condom sitting by the pillow, but johnny grabbed it first flashing a smile and a wink.

one second, ten was rolling his eyes at johnny's stupid expression, the next, johnny had pushed him back into the comforter, bending ten's legs so they sat atop johnny's thighs.

he couldn't say he was displeased at the change in position.

johnny's frame loomed over ten's petite body as he slid the condom on, grabbing the discarded bottle of lube to slick himself up.

ten was grateful for johnny's thoroughness, though he didn't voice it.

instead he tilted his head back into the pillows, taking a deep breath to calm his heart when he felt johnny press bluntly against his entrance.

"okay?" johnny asked, his voice barely louder than a rough whisper.

ten was caught off guard by the question of consent. he didn't really take johnny to be the type to make sure once they were this far.

_add that to the list of new things i'm learning about johnny seo_, ten thought passingly, but regardless nodded and replied, "yeah, 's good."

and johnny pressed forward, slow and steady, pulling a long and low whine from between ten's lips.

ten's eyes rolled back slightly at the feeling, painfully aware that johnny was pressing his legs further into his chest with every inch.

johnny's hips came flush with the back of ten's thighs; ten clenched at the sheets below him, biting his lip with a moan.

"good?" johnny asked, leaning down to kiss at ten's neck again.

the movement made johnny shift slightly, and ten reflexively clenched around him. johnny chuckled, his breath raising goosebumps across ten's sensitive skin.

ten's eyes were squeezed shut as he willed away the rising feeling in his stomach, eyebrows furrowed.

johnny thrust once and ten cried out, his hand flying to his mouth, softening the moan that came out.

with a hum, johnny rocked his hips again, lips warm against ten's neck, listening to every muffled sound that came from his mouth.

on a particularly hard thrust, ten finally broke, moans spilling out as he uncovered his mouth.

ten let johnny fold his legs over, hooking ten's calves over his shoulders and thrusting deeper than before.

"fuck- _fuck_, johnny-" ten reached out to pull johnny close, arms wrapping around his neck as johnny pushed relentlessly into him, "i'm- i- feels s-so- so _good_."

ten's vocals only seemed to spur johnny on, determined to elicit more sounds like the ones ten was making.

"yeah?" johnny asked, still wearing a grin, but clearly breathless, "feels good?"

ten nodded, in a delirious state as johnny fucked him harder.

"so good, so good," he echoed, not able to do much else other than hold his legs to his chest, "so _close_."

"yeah?" johnny asked, ducking his head and pushing deeper, "gonna come?"

"yes, yes!" ten whimpered, head falling to the side, "_so close_, _johnny_, i'm-"

his stomach tightened, and ten let out a soft cry as he arched off the bed, spilling over himself.

johnny stilled for a moment, groaning at how tight ten squeezed around him.

but ten wasn't done yet.

he quickly rolled them over, shoving johnny back into the sheets by the shoulders and lifting his hips so he could ride johnny with ease.

now it was johnny's turn to make some noise for ten, biting out a quick "oh, _fuck _" as ten began to set a quick pace, riding him quickly into the mattress.

he could tell by the way johnny's hips bucked that he was close too.

"kiss me," ten demanded, meeting johnny in the middle as the taller immediately sat up to fulfill the request, pressing their lips together in a mess of teeth and tongue.

johnny thrust up as much as he could, hips stuttering with pleasure as he moaned against ten's tongue.

"fuck, _fuck, ten,_" johnny groaned, "'m gonna- _fuck_\- i'm-"

ten dropped a hand to jerk himself off, bouncing up and down with quiet, overstimulated moans of his own.

"close?" ten teased, but with his voice so breathy it only came out as a whimper.

"_yes_."

"then come," as soon as the words left ten's mouth, johnny let out a long whine, hips stopping deep inside ten, head rolled back and eyes shut.

ten brought his hand to his mouth, stifling a moan as he came a second time.

for a moment, it was just their breaths, heavy and deafening, before ten lifted his hips and rolled off to the side of the bed.

his chest heaved, and the unmistakable wave of sleepiness began to crash over him.

ten couldn't think, brainless. exhausted.

he couldn't open his eyes again now that they were closed.

the last thing ten thought before he fell asleep was of the gun in the nightstand and the hope that he would wake up the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dark-haired man @ the race w/ jungwoo was doyoung, btw. he'll probably show up again soon
> 
> (also, sorry if the smut at the end was a little w o n k y, i was like, Not Feeling It but i needed to get this chapter out so yikes lmao)
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!! feel free to leave some kudos or a comment below!! i really treasure every single comment that i read, they make me feel so happy and really inspire me to keep going!!
> 
> if you read this far, i love you so much <3
> 
> part III, coming up!


	3. part III: the desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you thought ten made questionable decisions in the last chapter?
> 
> just you wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter three, hell YEAH
> 
> i, uh, am SO SO SO sorry this has taken so long. i've been busy with college prep and other stuff, as well as starting the untamed on netflix, which has apparently taken over my entire life (i would die for wangxian, btw).
> 
> hopefully y'all enjoy this chapter!!

**seoul, south korea**

**6:28 am**

ten woke with the rest of seoul the next morning.

that was, to say, at the asscrack of dawn, when the sunrise was nothing but a mere golden sliver on the horizon.

he wasn't sure at first what had woken him, but it only took a fraction of a second for the soreness in his body to catch up.

ten furrowed his brow in discomfort, rubbing the blur from his vision and blinking a few times to clear it.

he gave a little shiver.

the room was cold.

the sheets had been pulled over ten at some point, concealing his lower body (at least johnny had had the decency to cover his dick after he passed out, some of his past flings had barely even offered to clean him off).

which, apparently, johnny had done as well. 

a light, airy feeling that ten couldn't place crept up into his chest.

it was strange that johnny had even thought of such a small act, but it made waking up a little less regret-filled.

ten sat up slowly, stretching his arms above his head and letting out a soft yawn.

johnny slept on the other side of the bed, on his stomach. his face smushed up against the pillow a little, giving his lips an extra purse as he slumbered quietly.

it suddenly hit ten that johnny didn't snore.

such an insignificant detail sparked an interest in ten's mind. johnny seo was full of surprises.

ten let his eyes fall over the broad expanse of johnny's bare back for an indulgent second, tracking the way it rose and fell with johnny's deep breaths.

dead to the world.

he caught sight of johnny's arm - the knife cut from last night had been cleaned and bandaged, no longer visible.

a twinge of guilt passed through ten before he quickly stifled it.

johnny had done a lot last night after ten had fallen asleep.

seemingly everything except kill ten.

ten shook that train of thought from his head before he could ponder it any more.

running on the assumption that johnny wouldn't be waking anytime soon, ten swung his legs out of bed and felt the carpet under his toes.

he had to find his phone.

surely yukhei had been worried sick, what with his sudden disappearance from the ring and all.

_oh shit_, ten thought, panicked, _yukhei_. 

the fight.

he didn't know if yukhei was alright or not.

ten cursed himself for not even giving his friend a second thought.

yukhei had been fighting for what was probably his life and ten had, what, gone home with _johnny seo_ instead?

worry seized his body. he had to see if yukhei was okay.

ten was about to get up, before a thought stopped him.

_the gun_.

ten glanced back towards the nightstand, gears turning in his head.

he was fairly certain that johnny was going to stay asleep for a good long while, but he also wasn't stupid enough to leave his enemy alone with a weapon, no matter what.

without a second thought, ten pulled the drawer open and took the gun in his hand, the weight of it feeling familiar and safe.

_now for my phone_, ten thought.

he was pretty sure that his sweatshirt had ended up somewhere in the living room, but he paused briefly to search around for his underwear.

the room was still dark, but ten found the cloth after a few moments, setting the gun on the bed to pull his briefs on.

as open as he was, ten was not interested in wandering around johnny's floor-to-ceiling windowed apartment completely naked.

sparing one last look at johnny, sleeping peacefully with a pillow between his arms, ten shut the door of the bedroom behind him, holding his jeans in one hand and the gun in the other.

finding his sweatshirt from there was easy.

it hung over the back of a chair, there all night from where johnny had haphazardly thrown it.

ten tossed his jeans aside and pulled his phone from his sweatshirt pocket.

miraculously, it still had some battery in it, although it was only at thirteen percent.

his lock screen was filled from top to bottom with notifications.

the first ones he saw were four missed calls from yukhei, accompanied by several more text messages. there was another call from hendery, one from sicheng, and some miscellaneous social media messages.

ten released the breath he was holding, taking a moment to thank whatever deity he needed to that yukhei was safe.

opening his chat with yukhei, ten scrolled through the messages, eyes scanning the words.

_sent 12:42 AM: fights over. i beat mark. where are you?_

_sent 12:44 AM: ten? where are you?_

_sent 12:47 AM: are you okay?_

_sent 12:49 AM: where did you go_

ten scrolled through a few more texts after that before he read:

_sent 1:02 AM: hendery and i are worried_

_sent 1:03 AM: just let me know youre safe_

ten's heart sank in his chest. they had been waiting for him, scared for him.

guilt crept into his fingertips as he typed a response (even though yukhei had not sent another text in a few hours): _i'm not dead. stayed the night somewhere, be home in a few._

he hit send, and almost locked his phone, before he thought better and pulled up his chat with hendery.

surely yukhei could've relayed the message easily, but ten wanted to let the boy know personally.

_i'm safe_, he typed quickly, _don't worry_.

he tapped send again, then set his phone down.

the living room was quiet. almost too quiet.

ten couldn't hear any machines running or heat coming through the vents, sounds he was used to hearing at home.

it was almost eerie.

gun in hand, ten began to inspect around the place, poking around johnny's belongings.

they were all bland and generic, no personal touches whatsoever.

_maybe that's just his personality_, ten thought with an amused smile.

still, it didn't match the johnny seo ten had met.

ten ran a hand along a shelf filled with various books, and was surprised when his fingers came back dusty.

he leaned down and looked at the tracks in the dust he had made.

surely johnny would have a housekeeper or maid to keep the place clean, wouldn't he?

another disorienting aspect of the place that threw him off.

ten suddenly felt the overwhelming need to get out of there.

everything felt... off.

he quickly pulled his pants on, buttoning the top and shrugging into his sweatshirt.

it took him only another minute to get his shoes on before he was at the door.

ten gave the living room one more sweep. 

everything looked far too immaculate.

it made him curious, but he wasn't going to stay any longer to investigate.

ten ducked out of the apartment, not bothering to lock the door behind him.

the walk back to his and yukhei's apartment wouldn't have been terrible, but ten called a cab instead, eager to get home as quickly as possible.

besides, the sun was just barely over the horizon - still too dark to walk alone.

the cab dropped ten off in front of his apartment complex, where he huddled in his sweatshirt and started up the stairs to their floor.

the apartment was quiet when he got there.

opening the door softly, ten peeked his head in and found the tv on, running the morning news.

ten shut the door behind him and slipped his shoes off, padding further into the living room.

hendery was sleeping on the couch, fallen asleep in such a position that ten knew he had passed out while waiting for him to come back.

his heart gave a small pang at the sight.

the younger was sort of curled up, on his side with his legs pulled close to his chest. beside his head lay his phone, hand still holding onto it.

he snored softly, his dark hair falling over his face in a way that made him look much younger.

ten gave a sad, soft smile.

hendery really did care for him too much.

ten leaned down, easing the phone from hendery's hand and setting it on the coffee table. he then grabbed a throw blanket from the back of the couch and laid it over the younger, who shifted slightly.

hendery let out a soft noise, lifting his head slightly and peering up through bleary, squinted eyes. 

"ten-_ge?_ " he questioned softly, in mandarin, "you home?"

ten nodded, crouching next to the couch and brushing hendery's bangs from his forehead.

"yeah, i'm home, hendery," he replied softly, running his fingers through the younger's hair, "go back to sleep, okay?"

hendery paused, before making a little "hmm" sound and laying his head back down on his arm.

ten continued to brush through hendery's hair for a moment more before the younger's breathing evened out again.

after that, he turned the tv off with a click and wandered down the hall to the bedrooms.

yukhei's door was cracked open, so ten poked his head through to check on him.

his partner was sound asleep, laying in a pile of blankets and sheets in the middle of his bed. ten could hear his telltale snores.

hopefully he wasn't too badly hurt from the fight. ten would check up on him again in a few hours when he woke.

with both hendery and yukhei accounted for, ten retreated to his bedroom.

undressing rather quickly, ten plugged his phone in before shutting the bathroom door behind him and facing himself in the mirror.

he looked tired.

johnny hadn't broken his nose, but had hit him hard enough to leave a mark.

there was an ugly purple bruise on the bridge of his nose, and a thin red line accompanying it. he'd have to treat it when he got out of the shower, but it wasn't such a big deal.

ten lifted his chin, observing the other bruises there.

johnny certainly hadn't been careful marking up his neck, that was for sure.

he'd have to stick to turtlenecks and scarves unless he wanted to do some explaining to yukhei and hendery.

with a resigned sound, ten turned away from the mirror.

he needed a cold shower.

ten slept a few more hours after he'd dried off from his shower, deciding that he deserved a little extra rest after the night he'd gone through.

he'd buried himself under his sheets and blankets and passed out at least until eleven, judging by the brightness in his room.

ten reached out for his phone, hitting the lock button and blinking at the time.

11:17 am.

he had been close enough.

another notification caught his eye.

it was from kun.

_call me._

ten's heart quickened in his chest.

kun knew. he had to know. there was nothing ten could do to stop kun from finding out anything, apparently.

how could he know? none of his friends knew where he had gone last night, so they couldn't report back.

surely none of johnny's associates knew either. and even if they _did_, why would they be in contact with kun anyways?

ten knew the only way to get answers was to call kun.

so, he swallowed down his fear and slipped out of bed, deciding to go to the balcony to make the call.

ten pulled on a pair of loose shorts and a clean white tee before stepping from his room.

down the hall, yukhei was passed out. ten crept into his room quietly, regarding the sleeping man.

yukhei's face was littered with bruises, dried blood still dotting the skin between his nose and lips. 

despite looking like shit, he slept peacefully. he probably would, for a while. 

ten knew firsthand just how long a fight like that can put you out of commission. 

he would leave yukhei be.

ten backed out of the room and shut the door behind him.

in the living room, hendery still dozed on the couch, sunlight illuminating his soft features.

ten made sure to stay as quiet as possible as he made his way through the kitchen to the balcony door.

the concrete was cool under his bare feet, but the sun warmed a small patch at the end that ten eagerly stepped into.

then, with a deep breath, ten opened kun's contact and hit 'call'.

it only took three rings for kun to pick up.

"kun-"

"tell me what you were doing last night, chittaphon."

kun's voice was quiet but sharp, and all but silenced ten's in his throat.

"because you sure as hell weren't at the fighting ring, and i need to know why."

ten opened his mouth, but found no words. what the hell was he supposed to say? surely he couldn't lie, kun would sniff that out in a second.

he could beg. for forgiveness. for his life, for mercy, for another chance, for all of the things he's begged from kun before.

but that would get him nowhere.

he had to tell the truth and hope that kun would be lenient.

"don't... don't get mad, okay?" ten started, and kun scoffed.

"that all depends on what you're about to say, ten."

"okay," ten took a deep breath, "well..."

he recounted the night's events, sparing some of the more... intimate details... but mostly summarizing the basics. he watched yukhei, he got into a fight with johnny, then promptly went home with him. and stayed the night. on accident.

it was true, he really hadn't meant to fall asleep, but such an insignificant detail wouldn't matter so much to kun in the grand scheme of things.

ten held the phone a little ways from his ear as he awaited a response, afraid kun would start yelling again.

instead, kun let out a short, one-word response: "hmm."

ten blinked.

"'hmm'?" he echoed, "'hmm'? that's it?"

a resigned sigh came from the other line, "well, how did you expect me to react?"

"i don't know! maybe yell at me a bit, tell me what a disappointment i am, call me some sort of man-whore, i don't know!" ten found himself waving his arms around as a spoke, "something other than 'hmm'!"

"i felt that the disappointment was a given," kun replied dryly, and ten felt his jaw tighten. 

"that's not what i meant, kun."

"kun-_ge_," kun corrected, "but fine. if you wanted a lecture, i'll oblige. that was stupid and _reckless_ of you to go home with johnny, and even more foolish to have sex with him. you left yourself vulnerable and unprotected-"

"i knew what i was doing," ten interjected quickly.

"_shut up_," kun snapped, and ten shut his mouth, fuming.

he didn't ask for this. he didn't need to be lectured like some stupid hormonal teenager who had snuck out in the middle of the night and been caught.

but ten stayed silent. he didn't need to give kun any more reason to be angry with him.

"as i was saying," kun continued without interruption, "that was stupid, and foolish, but not entirely unexpected. we can use this to our advantage."

"so you _are_ calling me a man-whore," ten said, scandalized.

kun sighed again, and ten could almost picture him bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose and shake his head like an old man.

"not... necessarily, but i shouldn't say i'm entirely surprised that you ended up in his bed."

ten let out a laugh, but kun glazed over his outburst and continued, "however, now that we know seo is open to certain encounters, it's possible that he might do it again."

that made ten frown in confusion.

"again? you... want me to do it... again?"

"i'm not saying that," kun's voice was exasperated, "it's just... if the opportunity arises again, take it. he'll grow more partial to you, be more willing to let you in. you can get more information if he lets you into his home again."

ten considered mentioning the strangeness of johnny's apartment; the lack of personal items, the abandoned feel of it all, but decided to withhold that info until he knew more.

no use bothering kun with unimportant details.

in the meantime, he had a mission.

"so what do you want me to do now?" he asked, staring out over his balcony.

"the same as you have been," kun answered, "keep track of him. follow him if you can. _don't_ let him know anything's changed. don't make him suspicious."

"and then what?"

"do what you do best."

ten felt bitterness creep into his heart at those words. _what he did best._

"okay."

the call ended before ten even took his phone from his ear.

_what he did best_.

hendery was still asleep when ten came back inside, chest rising and falling slightly with his deep breaths.

ten stood there for a moment, watching the younger sleep.

he looked so peaceful and serene, no worry creasing his brow or fear in his eyes. 

ten regretted having to wake him up.

"hey," he prodded hendery's shoulder slightly, "dery, wake up."

hendery frowned slightly, shifting in his sleep.

ten shook him a little harder, and the younger let out a groan, squinting his eyes against the light streaming through the window.

"hmm? ten-_ge_ ?"

before ten could even respond, hendery was sitting up and pulling ten into a tight hug, face buried in his neck.

"_ge!_ i thought you were- you were-"

ten held hendery in his arms, comforting the younger as he spoke, "i'm okay, hendery, i'm fine. i'm too smart to get killed, remember?"

he tried to pull away, but hendery only hugged ten tighter, refusing to let him go.

"but you didn't respond to any of my texts! or yukhei's! neither of us knew-"

"i'm okay now, dery, and that's what matters, yeah?"

hendery finally pulled away, eyes immediately going to ten's bruised nose.

"your face! ten-_ge_, what happened?"

ten leaned back on his heels and sighed.

"it doesn't matter, dery. i'm home now, so don't worry."

hendery put on a worried sort of pout.

"how can i not?"

ten let out a quiet laugh, reaching up to ruffle hendery's messy hair, and the younger finally smiled at the action.

"_ge~ _" he protested, "i'm not a kid anymore."

"if you keep whining like that, you'll never convince me," ten teased back, and hendery giggled. "now c'mon, lets go get some breakfast, yeah?"

they ended up picking a little breakfast cafe in the shopping complex ten had been to the other day, settling in a small corner booth with their drinks cradled in their hands.

ten drank his americano sip by tiny sip, ignoring the way it scalded the whole way down his throat.

hendery, on the other hand, had nearly finished off his chai latte already, and was starting on the breakfast sandwich he had gotten.

ten watched with amusement.

although hendery had needed to grow up quick in these past few years, he still had a childish side that peeked through every now and then.

it never failed to bring a smile to ten's face.

"so, hendery," ten waited until hendery had stopped inhaling his food to speak, "what happened last night? while i was gone? yukhei said that he won, but didn't give me much else."

hendery finished chewing slowly before he said, "it was a close fight, according to him. and a long one, too."

ten arched an eyebrow.

"how so?"

hendery pursed his lips.

"well, after you... disappeared, yukhei told me it took at least nine minutes before he was able to take mark down. he put up a good fight."

"yeah, i saw that," ten replied, thinking of the bruises that yukhei adorned.

hendery drained the rest of his latte and continued, "yukhei thought that mark was down for the count, but every time he managed to spring back up again."

"so how'd he finally beat him?"

"wore him out, i guess. yukhei was nearly unconscious by the end, too. mark was just the one who couldn't hold out long enough."

"is he okay?" ten instinctively asked, immediately wishing he could take back the words.

hendery gave him a strange look.

"who, mark? why?"

ten feigned a disinterested shrug. 

"just want to make sure yukhei didn't kill him, or anything. don't want to make _that_ big of a scene and get even further on johnny's radar."

ten didn't add the underlying _mark is only a kid, too_.

hendery bit his lip in thought.

"i think he's alright. yukhei just knocked him unconscious."

ten tried not to breathe a sigh of relief.

"hmm," he merely said.

suddenly, hendery's eyes widened as he focused on something behind ten.

"_ge_, don't turn around now, but i think johnny seo just walked in."

ten nearly spun around as a reflex, but managed to sit still until he could tilt his head ever-so-slightly to the side to get a look at the rest of the coffee shop from his peripheral.

sure enough, there he was, by the glass case of pastries next to the counter.

johnny seo.

even out of the corner of his eye, ten could see that johnny had cleaned up. he had done his hair up and out of his face, thrown on a cozy-looking beige sweater that easily covered up the bandages on his upper arm.

ten turned back around to face hendery.

"what do we do?" hendery half-whispered, eyeing johnny's movements over ten's shoulder.

"act natural, i suppose," ten replied, "don't draw attention. i don't think he knows your face, so you should be fine."

johnny _did_, however, know yukhei. ten could only take solace in the fact that yukhei was back home, asleep.

"just, uh, let me know what he's doing, okay? don't take your eyes off of him."

hendery nodded earnestly.

they resumed their breakfast, but it now carried an overlying tension that draped over the both of them.

hendery whispered johnny's actions to ten every so often, when he picked up his order, where he sat down, his behavior and actions.

ten spared glances when he could, whenever hendery said it was safe.

johnny seemed calm, sipping his coffee every now and then, thumbing through the pages of a book and occasionally checking his phone. he looked... normal.

that was to say, he didn't look like he had made an attempt on ten's life last night, then proceeded to fuck him.

ten didn't really want to think about that when hendery was right in front of him.

"he's getting up," hendery spoke suddenly, lowering his gaze. 

johnny's shadow fell across the table for a split second as he passed them, walking down a hallway towards the bathrooms of the coffee shop.

ten waited until johnny was completely out of view before he stood from his seat.

"where are you going?" hendery immediately questioned, brow furrowing.

ten's eyes darted to the hall and back, "bathroom."

he turned from the table, but hendery caught his wrist and hauled him back.

"_but that's where johnny is!_ " the younger whispered harshly, "ten-_ge_, what are you trying to do?"

"i'm just gonna talk with him," ten tried to tug his hand from hendery's grasp, "don't worry about it."

hendery remained stubborn, tightening his grip.

"ten-ge," he frowned, "you have to be more careful than that."

"i _am_ careful," ten said indignantly, "i'm just going to have a chat. besides, johnny would never try anything in public."

at that, hendery released his grip, and ten rubbed his wrist thankfully.

"just... don't do anything stupid," hendery's eyes were wide, "don't get yourself hurt."

ten rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, leaving to find johnny.

johnny was by the sinks when ten walked in, washing his hands.

ten sauntered up to the counter, bracing his hands against the marble and hoisting himself up onto it.

"fancy seeing _you_ here, mr. seo," ten grinned, "how did you sleep?"

johnny barely spared a glance at ten, shutting off the water and turning to dry his hands.

"why are you here, ten?"

he sounded tired.

ten scoffed with disdain.

"_what_, can't a man get a simple coffee anymore? what a world we live in, mr. seo."

johnny finally turned and faced ten, silent.

the easy-listening music of the coffee shop drifted lazily through the air, filling the cavernous quiet of the bathroom.

ten didn't back down, meeting johnny's gaze and holding it.

finally, johnny took a step forward.

"why are you here?" he repeated, arms crossed in a way that reminded ten of a fed-up substitute teacher. 

it was a little funny, so ten let himself laugh, giving a breathy chuckle before he slid down from the counter, touching down lightly on the floor.

"i just wanted to check up, you know?" ten smiled, taking a few small steps until he stood right in front of johnny, "see how your morning is going, after last night and all."

johnny seemed to turn a little pink at the mention of 'last night'. 

"last night was a mistake."

ten gave a fake pout, taking another step forward, backing johnny up into the counter.

"so you're saying you didn't like it?" ten traced his pointer finger across the collar seam of johnny's sweater.

"i'm _saying_," johnny spoke firmly, catching ten's wrist in a tight hold, "that it was _a mistake_."

with that, johnny pushed past ten, their shoulders colliding.

ten leaned against the counter as he watched johnny go.

just as johnny reached the door, ten called out, "see you soon, pretty boy!"

as expected, he was ignored.

the bathroom door shut between them.

johnny was long gone from the coffee shop once ten returned to the table.

hendery sat quietly at the table, a troubled expression on his face as he looked through his phone.

"hey," ten waved a hand in front of the younger's face; he hadn't even noticed ten walk up.

"oh! hey," hendery startled slightly, looking up and stuffing his phone in his pocket, "where's mr. seo?"

ten gave a wry smile, "i scared him off."

"ah," hendery said quietly. he still looked distracted.

ten pursed his lips.

"hey," he said softly, setting a hand on hendery's shoulder, "what's up? you look upset."

hendery bowed his head, speaking so softly that the background noise of the coffee shop nearly covered up his words, "it's... nothing. it's fine."

ten scoffed, "please, hendery. i can tell _something's_ wrong. don't lie to me."

when hendery still didn't speak, ten added: "you know you can tell me anything, right dery?"

the younger nodded. he took a deep breath, exhaling heavily through his nose before saying anything.

"it's just... kun-_ge_."

ten felt the back of his neck prickle at the name; the words _what you do best_ still lingered from this morning.

he brushed aside the feeling quickly, "kun? what about him?"

hendery gave another small sigh and muttered, "he's upset at us. me and yukhei."

ten scowled. they hadn't done anything wrong, had they? they had followed instructions last night. it was _ten_ who had failed them.

he pushed for answers anyways.

"why is he upset, dery?"

"because..." hendery trailed off, not meeting ten's eyes.

ten tightened his grip on hendery's shoulder.

"because of me? hendery, is it because of last night? because i was gone?"

hendery looked up at that, eyes wide. 

and then, a slight nod.

ten bit his lip, hard, refraining from voicing his (rather violent) thoughts.

so this was his real punishment.

getting chewed out by kun was just the reprimand, but kun was using hendery to punish ten. hurting the younger to make sure it got to him.

ten would never put it past kun, the dickhead. what kind of psychological-manipulation bullshit is this?

he looked at the younger and saw his eyes getting shiny, tears threatening to spill over.

"c'mon, come here," ten said quietly, pulling hendery into his chest in a soft hug, "let's go back home okay?"

hendery nodded against him, his response muffled into ten's shirt.

"yeah, let's go home," ten repeated quietly, pressing his lips into the crown of hendery's head.

kun was radio-silent for a few days after that.

he gave no more orders, no updates. he left them to figure out what the next move was going to be.

ten supposed it was better off this way anyways.

yukhei was still healing up from the fight (he insisted that mark looked worse), moving gingerly around the apartment, hand always pressed against his ribs.

after a little (read: a lot) whining, ten snapped and forced yukhei to go to the hospital with him for an x-ray to see what the damage was.

when they had first come to seoul, kun had given them the name of a hospital and a nurse they could request so there were minimal questions asked if any of them gained a serious injury.

so, as instructed, ten had asked for nurse yuqi at the front desk.

yuqi was a familiar-looking young woman with light brown hair styled in frizzy waves, and an absolutely tiny stature. 

she had come into the waiting room, given ten and yukhei one glance, and told them to follow her into the back halls.

it was a fairly quick visit, yukhei had told yuqi as little as he could about the fight (although kun had previously mentioned that she could be trusted), and yuqi had prodded as his ribs a few times before saying they didn't need an x-ray.

yukhei gave ten a pointed look, saying, "i _told_ you, ten-_ge_."

"your ribs are just bruised," yuqi said, scribbling down something on a clipboard, "here, i can get you some painkillers, but other than that there's not much i can do. you'll just have to wait for it to heal."

ten and yukhei both thanked her, took the prescription, and headed to the nearest pharmacy.

by the time they finally made it home, yukhei was clamoring for food and rest.

and as always, ten babied him, confining yukhei to the living-room couch watching k-dramas while he cooked up something for dinner.

every now and then, he would hear yukhei laugh at a funny line, or grumble in annoyance at the antics of the characters.

ten smiled to himself.

evening went quietly into night.

it had only been yukhei and ten for dinner; hendery, sicheng and the others were all off doing their own things.

ten sent yukhei to bed after dinner, taking his plate from his hands when he tried to help with the clean-up.

"c'mon, yukhei," ten held the plate out of reach, "you're tired. i'll take care of the dishes, okay?"

"is it a crime to want to help you?" yukhei huffed, crossing his arms.

ten quickly jabbed a finger into yukhei's ribs, eliciting a pained yelp from the younger, and that was the end of the argument.

"go. to. bed." ten ordered, and yukhei frowned, but eventually slumped away, a hand pressed gingerly to his ribs.

the clatter of dishes in the sink covered up the sound of yukhei's door shutting.

ten's mind wandered as he rinsed their plates and bowls, eyes unfocused.

he thought about his last encounter with johnny.

it hadn't been exactly... what he'd expected, to say the least.

johnny had been stiff and unresponsive to ten's usual comments, not even bothering to make any jabs back.

something very uncharacteristic, especially considering their night before.

ten reddened slightly at the thought of it.

despite his confidence in bothering johnny with it the other morning, ten had spent the last few days actively trying to avoid thinking about sleeping with johnny.

he couldn't say he totally regretted it, but that wasn't what made him feel awful about the whole thing.

and maybe it was just kun's words replaying in his head, but ten knew that if it happened again, he would let it.

no matter how shitty it made him feel, at least he could admit that to himself.

maybe that's why his last run-in with johnny left him so disappointed.

ten wasn't exactly sure what he had expected, but it definitely wasn't for johnny to give him the cold shoulder like that.

mafia-boss or not, johnny seo was the best fuck ten had had in a while, and damn it all if he couldn't at least be honest with himself about it.

groaning aloud, ten shook his head slightly, as if that would rid him of the fluttery feeling deep in his stomach.

he gave the kitchen one last glance before retreating back into his room to shower and try to fall sleep.

even after a cold shower, ten felt feverish with johnny on his mind.

now that he had allowed himself the luxury of thinking about it, ten couldn't get that night out of his head.

he lay in bed, staring at his barely-there reflection in the windows overlooking the city.

after he'd had enough of that, ten rolled on to his back, wondering vaguely what the fuck he was doing.

here he was, ten chittaphon leechaiyapornkul, skilled fighter, second-hand man to the fiercest mafia boss in east asia, laying in his bed, moping about not getting to talk to the head of the rival syndicate the morning after they _fucked_.

ten ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the ends in aggravation.

"what the _fuck_," he muttered, rolling over again and shoving his face into the pillows._ get it together, chittaphon_.

so what if johnny didn't want to have a conversation with ten. he had the right. quite frankly, johnny had every right to have bounced ten's head off of the counter for all the crimes he's committed against johnny's syndicate.

still, he wouldn't let it deter him.

ten was going to keep doing what he was supposed to. no matter what johnny did or said in response.

although kun had his moments, ten generally trusted his orders. 

he knew the most effective move, and he never, _never_ did anything unintentionally.

ten could at least count on him for that, even if he _was_ a colossal asshole.

besides, following orders had always been what ten did best.

who was he to contradict that?

it was another few days before ten had decided to go out and actively search for johnny.

he'd been able to find the mafia boss before by 'chance', but johnny was no longer around his usual hotspots. ten no longer saw him at the shopping complex, nor the fighting ring. 

but the worst thing about it was that nobody else could find him either. 

neither sicheng or yangyang reported anything showing up on their radar, and when ten asked, they simply shrugged.

"he just hasn't been out, ten-_ge_," yangyang said, "i wouldn't worry about it too much."

"yeah," sicheng added, "if he was up to anything, we would've caught it."

the words barely consoled ten, but he thanked the two anyways and left them alone.

they didn't seem too terribly concerned.

ten aimed to keep it that way.

which is why he didn't tell a single one of them where he was going when he left the apartment that evening to find johnny in the one place they hadn't been able to check.

somewhere that nobody, not even kun himself, was stupid enough to waltz straight into.

ten took a deep breath, fidgeting with one of the many zippers of his faux leather jacket, staring at the office building that loomed in front of him.

emblazoned across the front of the building: _seo industries_.

there was a reason kun would never in his right mind send ten here, or any of the others, as a matter of fact.

and that was _kun_.

just ten _being_ here was a borderline threat against johnny himself.

if ten walked through those doors, those great big, glass embossed double doors, he might as well have been walking into a wolf's den, with a number of snarling pairs of teeth waiting to rip him to shreds at any second.

so, he adjusted the lapels of his jacket, took another shuddering breath, and stepped inside.

the entryway was a cavernous, warm sort of room, as tall as it was wide, with a receptionist's desk in the center, blocking the way to the elevators.

wood paneling interspersed with the sleek black and white walls, subduing the 'modern office' look of it all.

on either side of the entryway were patches of carpet with cushy black chairs for waiting, though none of them were occupied.

in fact, the room was devoid of any other people besides ten himself and the man at the receptionist's desk, who sat typing away at something in a double monitor computer in front of him.

he was clearly very focused on what he was working on; he hadn't seemed to even notice that ten was there.

the man's appearance was very puzzling to ten, however. he wasn't dressed in a sharp suit with sleek lines and perfectly combed and gelled black hair.

instead, he had hair the brilliant shade of cherry-red, worn messy and curly, with bobby-pins holding the longer strands out of his face. his multiple silver piercings matched the silver necklace (no, necklaces, ten realized the man wore almost five) that hung between the slightly-unbuttoned sides of his striped dress shirt. the looked was all brought together by a light grey fitted blazer on top.

ten wasn't sure whether or not this man was in on the whole 'mafia' deal, or if he was just a fashion designer johnny had plucked from the art school down the road to work as his receptionist.

it was... intriguing to say the least.

ten took a moment to clear his throat quietly and approach the desk.

the red-haired man looked up quickly, as if startled, and flashed a brilliant smile.

"hi! welcome to seo industries, how can i help you?"

ten replied with a warm smile of his own, and said, "hi, uh-" he checked the nameplate on the desk quickly, "-mr. nakamoto, i was wondering if mr. seo was in right now?"

the receptionist, mr. nakamoto, shifted his gaze to his computer, already typing away.

"i can go ahead and check what time you're in for- what's your name?"

ten blanched slightly, "oh! uh, lee yong-qin, but he's... not really expecting me."

despite ten's warning, mr. nakamoto typed up his name anyways, and frowned slightly when he (evidently) didn't see it on his computer.

"yeah, i can see your name's not in the system quite yet, would you like me to put it in?"

ten shook his head slightly, "no, it's okay. is he busy right now?"

another second of typing.

"he's finishing up a meeting right now, and he has another meeting scheduled off-site in fifteen minutes, so i'm afraid i can't put you in for any time tonight," mr. nakamoto somehow still beamed while he spoke, "would you like to pass on a message so i can let him know you were here?"

again, ten shook his head. it's no use if he can't go and see johnny in his office. it was dangerous enough to give the receptionist his chinese name, let alone go wandering the building and let every security camera and worker see his face.

"that's okay, but thank you. i'll just come around another time."

mr. nakamoto gave another smile, "have a nice evening then, mr. lee."

"you as well," ten gave a slight bow and turned on the heel of his foot, making his way back outside.

once he was back to relative safety outside of the building, ten leaned up against the wall, pressing his head into the cold concrete.

_well that went well_, he thought dejectedly. 

perhaps it was better off this way, anyways. 

it wasn't his brightest plan to march straight into johnny's home-front and demand to know where he had been or what he was hiding.

and it _definitely_ wasn't a plan that kun would approve of.

hence the reason that he neglected to tell anyone where he was going.

ten turned his head to the left, eyes catching a sign reading 'parking garage' with an arrow pointing down under the office building.

the wheels began to turn in his head, an idea forming.

how soon had mr. nakamoto said that johnny had a meeting off-site? fifteen minutes? surely he'd have to get his car from the parking garage to make it there.

ten followed the sign to the parking garage; a turn off from the street slanted down underneath the ground leading to the sub-levels beneath the seo industries building.

a ticket booth sat to the right of the entrance, but there was nobody manning it.

ten strode down the ramp, eyes scanning the few cars left in the rows. 

clearly, most everybody had left work already, leaving most of the parking garage empty and cavernous; ten's footsteps echoed against the walls.

he quieted his steps and continued on, following signs that hung from the ceiling.

ten found the elevator a floor down, tucked away in the corner of the lot, its striking silver doors reflecting the yellow-ish lights on the concrete ceiling.

lined up next to it were three cars.

immediately adjacent to the elevator, parked in the ceo parking spot, was johnny's car; a sleek black beamer that ten scoffed at the sight of.

next to that was a dark and shiny red ferrari, probably taeyong's car. and finally, a simple dark silver tesla; possibly jaehyun's?

ten shook his head. that didn't matter right now.

he had to intercept johnny on the way to his meeting.

so, ten tucked himself into the space between johnny's car and the wall around the corner of the elevator, leaning up against the wall by the driver's side door; johnny would have to physically move him to even get in his car.

perfect.

there was no way johnny could avoid him now.

ten only had to wait a few minutes before he heard the doors of the elevator open with a ding.

he didn't dare look around the corner to see if it was johnny, but he heard the click of dress shoes against the pavement echoing through the garage. 

the jangling of car keys followed, and someone came around the corner.

a much-shorter-than-johnny-seo, pink-haired someone.

taeyong's eyes widened comically when he saw ten.

then, a snarl, "you _motherfucker_."

ten barely had time to react before taeyong was sliding a knife from seemingly nowhere and leaping forward. ten leaned under the swipe, feeling the force of taeyong's swing brush over his face.

he couldn't let himself get cornered, so ten kicked taeyong back with a boot to the chest and rolled sideways over the hood of johnny's beamer, scrambling around the other side of the car.

taeyong followed with near-superhuman speed, back on ten in a second.

he shoved ten against the passenger-side door, knife point nearly touching his chest if ten hadn't gotten a good grip on taeyong's arm, pushing it away.

they stayed suspended there for a moment, taeyong's jaw clenched and hand shaking with the force with which he used to try to push the knife into ten's chest.

ten planted his foot against the door behind him, using whatever leverage he could gain, and shoved taeyong back against his own car.

taeyong let out a quiet noise at the collision, but clearly it hadn't done much. he lunged at ten again, who had escaped into the open area of the parking garage, making another swing with his knife.

the blade glanced off of ten's forearm; an instinctive movement to avoid a hit to the face, and ten gave a wince before jumping back out of the reach of another swing.

fuck, taeyong was a good fighter. constantly putting ten on defense like that, it was hard to gain the upper hand. ten needed to get the knife out of his hands.

ten let taeyong back him up against one of the concrete pillars that supported the ceiling, one hand clenched around taeyong's wrist that held a bunch of ten's shirt in his hand.

taeyong sneered and made to swipe again with the knife, but ten quickly side-stepped away from the pillar, grabbing taeyong's knife-arm and spinning him so he hit the pillar. taeyong's elbow collided directly with the corner of the pillar, and he let out a gasp, dropping the knife to the ground where it gave a metallic clatter.

ten kicked the knife away, under the nearest car, and taeyong immediately punched ten in the nose.

stumbling back, but grateful the knife was no longer in the equation, ten gritted his teeth and raised both fists.

he never knew someone with cotton-candy hair could look so malicious, but if looks could kill, ten would've dropped dead where he stood.

taeyong looked at him with all the malice in the world.

ten's nose throbbed, and his forearm burned. but he couldn't afford to lose this fight.

taeyong swung first again, allowing ten to duck and tackle taeyong to the ground, both of them hitting the concrete, flailing as taeyong attempted to get the upper hand.

pinning taeyong's arms to the ground with his knees, ten struck taeyong across the face, bloodying his lips and nose before taeyong got an arm out and struck ten across the temple.

he grunted, off balance, and taeyong tried to buck ten off, but he evidently wasn't strong enough to use his core alone.

using his strength to his advantage, ten brought his hands to taeyong's throat instead.

taeyong's fingers scratched and pulled at the sleeves of ten's leather jacket, digging into the cut in his arm, trying to get ten to loosen his grip as he wheezed.

ten merely squeezed harder, feeling taeyong's pulse under his fingertips. he raised taeyong up by the neck and slammed him back down against the concrete again, and taeyong's movements faltered slightly. 

the cut in ten's forearm burned where taeyong had scratched it, blood dripping from the wound over taeyong's hands. his eyes rolled slightly, breathing hindered.

suddenly, another pair of hands looped under ten's arms, not just wrenching him away from taeyong, but lifting him in the air, and throwing him back onto the ground with no care.

ten's head slammed into the concrete when he landed, and he let out a cry of pain. his vision blurred as he tried to focus on the newcomer.

dimly, he could register the sound of taeyong heaving and coughing, trying to regain his breath.

someone's voice, not taeyong, shouted, "johnny, go! we'll take care of it."

blinking away of haze and saw jaehyun's figure looming before him; taeyong was crouched behind him, still coughing, a hand feeling at his own throat.

ten tried to scramble away backwards, but jaehyun was faster than he was with a head injury.

and stronger, apparently.

ten's head buzzed as jaehyun grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him to his feet. ten grabbed at jaehyun's forearm, but it was too late.

jaehyun struck ten across the face, letting him fall as he did.

ten hit the pavement hard again, stumbling away.

a car started somewhere on the level.

behind jaehyun and taeyong, johnny's car pulled out of it's parking space.

it was only a few seconds before johnny was gone.

jaehyun tugged ten to his feet again, and ten followed the motion forward, striking jaehyun once in the jaw before jaehyun let out a grunt of exertion and grabbed ten with both hands, throwing him back down.

on the ground, ten couldn't escape the kick to his side, nor his back when he rolled over in pain. the narrow toe of jaehyun's shoe was dull and bruising.

ten still hadn't rid himself of the ringing in his head from hitting his head so hard, but he tried his hardest to clamber to his hands and knees again.

jaehyun shoved ten back down by planting his shoe in the middle of his spine, between his shoulder blades. ten's cheek pressed hard against the pavement. his breathing was shallow.

"get him back up, jae."

taeyong had evidently stopped coughing, but his voice still carried a breathy tone to it, shaking with anger.

ten couldn't even resist when jaehyun hauled him up once more, standing behind him and retraining his arms. as if ten could even lift them himself at this point.

his vision felt woozy. he ached everywhere, wondering vaguely if taeyong and jaehyun were going to kill him.

ten's head lolled back slightly, resting against jaehyun's collarbone.

taeyong grabbed ten's chin, forcing him to look up, but ten couldn't focus his gaze.

"hey!" taeyong snapped, hitting him across the face, open-palmed, and grabbing him again, narrowing his eyes.

ten finally sharpened his gaze, and he noticed how red taeyong was around the neck. the sight of it made him smile.

taeyong, upon seeing his grin, let go of his face and hit him, hard, four or five times, until ten's head sagged, blood and spit dripping from his mouth to the concrete below.

still, ten laughed.

he laughed because he knew taeyong and jaehyun could very well kill him, at this very moment.

they could beat him to death, or slit his throat, stab him and leave him to bleed out slowly, and there was nothing ten could do about it.

because nobody was coming to help him.

nobody knew where he was.

so he laughed. it was a frantic, brittle laugh, seized by coughs and hiccups, tasting of blood and metal; it was the laugh of a dead man.

in front of him, taeyong frowned.

"what's so funny, huh?"

ten's laugh dissolved into a dazed smile, and he turned his head to the side, spitting the excess blood out.

"you..." he muttered quietly, "you really fucked up, now, huh?"

taeyong rolled his eyes slightly, but he still entertained ten.

"how do you mean?"

ten didn't have that much time to come up with a bluff, but he always had one single card hidden up his sleeve, and it usually always gave ten whatever he wanted.

"what do you think..." he wheezed out, "is gonna happen if you kill me?"

taeyong's expression hardened, and he punched ten in the stomach, eliciting a pained groan that turned into the same, crazed laugh.

"oh, i can't wait to see what you do when- when qian kun finds out about all this."

and there it was.

it was a split second, but taeyong's eyes darted over ten's shoulder, at jaehyun, alarmed.

then, he grinned, proud.

"qian kun isn't here, ten. it's just us and you, and pretty soon, it'll be just us."

ten let out a bark of laughter, sagging low in jaehyun's grip, "oh, how i wish that were true for you, taeyonggie."

taeyong scowled at the name.

but then, "taeyong..." jaehyun whispered quietly, "we can't... if-"

"-oh, i cannot _wait_ to see what kun will do to you guys if you-"

"-johnny said that we can't-"

"-he wouldn't spare either one of you, you know what he can-"

"shut up!" taeyong shouted, and ten flinched, but he could hear the fear creeping into his voice.

_so the old qian kun card still works, huh?_ ten thought to himself with a smile.

taeyong and jaehyun were having an argument via nonverbal communication - an argument taeyong seemed to be losing.

at last, taeyong let out an insufferable sigh, and focused on ten again.

"then let this be a warning to qian kun, huh? let him know that next time we won't be so lenient."

ten almost breathed in relief, but taeyong used the opportunity to get in one more punch, hitting him so hard that he toppled from jaehyun's arms, falling to the ground once more.

"let's go, jae."

his eyelids fluttered shut, and he flinched with every retreating footstep as taeyong and jaehyun walked away.

everything around him felt muted, even the feeling of the hard pavement below him. he couldn't pass out here, but he wasn't even sure if he could stand up anymore.

the sound of another car starting thrummed through the air. 

ten tried to keep his eyes open, but in the end, he couldn't even remember hearing the sound of the car driving away.

ten was somehow surprised when he woke up _still_ on the floor of the parking garage.

it was a strange feeling, to wake up feeling so completely in pain.

ten squinted up into the fluorescent light above him, eyes trailing after the small moths that chased it, but even the light hurt his eyes.

with a quiet groan, he forced himself to sit up slowly.

pain sparked across his skin, namely his arm, when his jacket dragged across the dried cut there.

wincing, ten brought a protective hand to his wound, feeling the dried blood on his face crack at the movement.

he was afraid to look in a mirror.

although, his looks were the least of his worries at the moment. 

ten clambered to his feet with the help of the nearest car, before feeling his pockets to see if his phone was still there. thankfully it was, still tucked away safe in his back pocket.

he checked the time, grimacing when he saw that he'd been passed out for nearly an hour.

"shit," he muttered quietly, immediately starting off towards the ramp to find he parked his car. would johnny still be in his meeting?

ten had figured that johnny's meeting would be at the club, which wasn't too terribly far from the _seo industries_ building, but it was a guess. if he was wrong, he'd be wasting precious time.

still, he had to do _something_. even if taeyong and jaehyun were there.

he stopped for a moment and searched around for the knife he'd taken from taeyong.

it was, thankfully, still on the ground under car where he'd kicked it. at least now he'd have a little extra protection if he had to cross taeyong twice in one night.

only halfway up the ramp to the street above, ten swayed slightly, falling against the wall next to him, vision tunneling as unconscious loomed.

his breathing quickened as he tried to snap out of it. 

taeyong and jaehyun had done quite a number on him, hadn't they?

the only person who had ever beaten him worse was kun, and he hadn't even been trying to kill ten.

the thought of that reminded ten that he should let at least kun know that he was going after johnny tonight, now that he wasn't going to be at the seo industries building.

ten took a deep breath, and opened his eyes.

his vision had cleared.

ten kept his phone out as he slowly walked the rest of the way to his car, parked around the corner from the seo industries building.

in the driver's seat, ten typed out a quick message to kun: _going after johnny again tonight. i'll update in the morning_.

and with that, he tossed his phone into the passenger seat and pulled away from the sidewalk, speeding off towards the neo-tech nightclub.

as he suspected, ten didn't take all that long getting to the nightclub.

he parked somewhere behind the club, bass pounding in his chest as he walked up.

the same black beamer was parked right next to the back entrance.

so johnny was still here. good.

ten kept a careful watch on his surroundings, suspicious of the lack of security around the back entrance to the club.

not even a single bodyguard or bouncer.

ten slipped through the door silently, the sound of his arrival easily covered up by booming music inside.

the back halls were devoid of club-goers, leaving ten no reason to really 'sneak' around anyways. it wasn't like anybody was actively looking for him.

the hallway he was in led to the regular dance floor, coming out somewhere near the vip stairs.

as always, there were two guards blocking the stairway. not an option for ten. but surely there was another entrance to the vip area? 

ten ducked back down the hall, trying doors and here and there until he found one that read: _neo-tech staff only_. 

with a slight, stinging grin, ten opened it and found another, smaller set of stairs.

perfect.

his steps were light as he made his way up the stairs. the music seemed to fade away as he climbed up and found a door marked: _vip_.

really, it couldn't have been any easier for ten.

he pushed through the doorway and found himself in a lavish-looking hallway. it was decorated with ornate draped curtains and lanterns that hung from the ceiling at even intervals.

there were curtained-off tables and doors opposite them; possibly meeting rooms.

and best of all: there was nobody else there but him.

ten found the vip bathroom first, which he desperately needed to clean off at least the blood on his face.

he locked the door behind him, and found himself in a lavish, yet darkened bathroom. the walls were all wooden paneling, and the light in the room seemed to come from nowhere in particular.

warily, ten approached the mirror.

a small gasp escaped his mouth before he could stop it.

put simply: he looked like absolute shit.

bloodied. bruised. tired.

his cheekbone had taken on the permanent shade of a bruised lavender; damaged.

faintly, the bass of the music playing below hummed through the walls.

ten stared at himself in the mirror. 

he should probably check to see if kun had responded.

it still took a second to tear his gaze away from himself.

there was something magnetic about the blood and bruises on his own skin. it was an accident in a busy intersection, a man standing on a building edge while a crowd gathered below; it was terrible, yet enthralling.

his eyes burned with the intensity of which he stared at his wounds, and finally, he looked away, eyes drawn to his phone screen.

kun hadn't replied.

but the small letters under his text said _read_, and that was good enough for ten anyways.

if kun wasn't going to stop him, he could continue with whatever bullshit he was about to pull.

ten set his phone down and grabbed a hand-towel from the basket next to the sink, wetting it under the water and bringing it to his face, hoping the blood wouldn't stain too bad.

thankfully, the blood came off quickly, easing from his face and into the fibers of the towel. ten didn't really think twice about it.

what he _was_ thinking about, however, was johnny seo.

what was he going to say?

would johnny even listen to him? or would be simply brush him off like in the cafe? ignore him?

ten couldn't predict johnny anymore.

that was the most bothersome piece of it all.

so, ten would simply say whatever came first and let the cards fall where they may.

there was no use in trying to predict himself, either.

after a moment of careful cleaning, ten's battered face was reduced to a cut or two in his lip, a shiny new bruised cheekbone, balanced out with a darkening black eye on the other side.

ten reached to drop the towels in the basket underneath the sink, but winced slightly when his jacket dragged across his cut.

"_fuck_ me," ten groaned quietly, slowly shrugging off his leather jacket and placing it on the counter. he examined his arm with narrow eyes.

the cut itself looked rather shallow, but he'd have to clean off the rest of the blood to really see the full extent of the injury. frankly, it was probably no more than a minor inconvenience. 

once all of his wounds were haphazardly cleaned, ten pulled his jacket back on, wiped down any blood he'd gotten on the sink, and tossed all of the hand-towels into the basket under the counter.

he gave one last check, making sure the knife he'd now stolen from taeyong was still secure in his pocket, and stepped out of the bathroom.

the hallway outside the bathroom was still empty, showing no signs of johnny.

he was sure to be somewhere on this floor.

ten just had to find him.

he listened intently at each of the doors down the hallway, straining to hear voices behind any of them.

then, the fourth door down, ten picked something up.

it was a little hard to hear through the music from the dance floor, but ten heard it nonetheless: a warm, clear laugh, joined by a chorus of other voices.

johnny seo.

ten closed his eyes and leaned closer to the door, hoping to pick up actual words and sentences.

"- quite the ambitious young man, mr. seo!" someone was saying, "definitely your father's son."

"ah, thank you, thank you, you're very kind," johnny said in response, and ten could picture the smile along with it.

"shall we go celebrate together?" a different voice asked.

some mutters of agreement followed, but johnny responded, "no, thank you. i have some matters to attend to back at the office before i'm done for the night."

"ah, mr. seo, got your father's work ethic too, i see?"

another crystalline laugh, "unfortunately, yes."

whatever the response was, ten couldn't catch it, the music downstairs had become too loud again.

he rolled his eyes in frustration, trying listen harder.

he only got fragments of the sentence that came next, "... must be off ... for your business - mr. seo ... seeing you again soon."

with a jolt, ten realized that they must be preparing to leave.

he scrambled away from the door, eyes darting around the hallway for the best place to hide.

it was no use finding johnny if he wasn't alone.

ten tried the door right next to the private room, and found it gratefully unlocked. he slipped inside silently; the door shutting just as the one next door opened.

several pairs of feet spilled out into the hallway, joined by loud graciousness and goodbyes. 

ten kept his back flat to the door, shutting his eyes. it didn't make any difference anyways, whatever room he was in was too dark to see in.

the chatter outside held for a moment; ten could no longer discern johnny's voice out of them all.

after what felt like several minutes, the final goodbyes sounded, and the footsteps began to wander back down the hallway.

ten reached into his pocket and slid out the knife.

it felt a little too light in his hand, but he'd rather this than nothing.

then, as carefully as he could muster, ten cracked the door open, peering out into the hallway.

light from the room next door cast a glow against the walls, and ten recognized the silhouette of johnny's figure cast in the center.

the corners of ten's lips curved up.

he stepped silently into the hallway, not bothering to shut the door behind him for fear of making noise.

johnny wasn't moving much; he appeared to be standing still, possibly just checking his phone.

regardless, he was alone.

exactly what ten needed.

in the hallway, ten opened the knife with a quiet click.

johnny's shadow froze.

instantly, ten burst into the room, taking johnny by the front of his shirt and shoving him against the wall, knife-edge to his throat.

"where have you been?" ten demanded, cutting across whatever johnny had opened his mouth to say, "and what the_ fuck_ are you up to?"

johnny blinked, lips pursed.

he drew in a sharp breath, and then - "what happened?"

ten's eyebrow arched; he pressed the knife further into johnny's neck, not hard enough to cut, but enough to feel it shift when johnny's throat bobbed.

"what the fuck are you talking about?"

"your- your face, it's..."

it took a second for ten to realize johnny was commenting on the blood and bruises.

"had a little run-in with your guard dog bitch, earlier, didn't you know?" ten seethed, "besides, what is it to you? don't you want me dead?"

johnny's brow furrowed, but he didn't respond immediately.

ten tried not to let his confusion show on his face. why the hell did johnny give a shit about his well-being? besides, he'd seen the front end of the beating ten had taken earlier. why was he surprised that this was the end result?

he didn't know how to find the answers for those questions, so he stuck to his original plan.

"_and_," ten added, "i asked you a question. what the hell are you planning? what was that meeting for? who were those men?"

"that's three questions," johnny remarked and ten pressed the knife closer to his neck.

"so? answer me."

johnny tilted his head up slightly, raising his chin. 

"i don't have to tell you anything."

ten's jaw clenched.

so _now_ johnny decided to be a smart-ass.

it wasn't so entertaining anymore. in fact, ten was trying to decide if he wanted to punch johnny or give him a neat little scar across the neck.

but after a moment of contemplation, he did neither.

he had to think about this logically.

if ten hurt johnny right now, there would be no hope of gaining anything, information or otherwise.

he had to play with the cards that johnny was dealing.

so instead, he took the knife away from johnny's throat, and took a step back, hands up.

johnny's eyes followed the bruise on ten's cheek as he moved.

"you're right," ten admitted, holding the knife out and flicking it shut, "you _don't_ have to tell me anything."

and it was unlikely that johnny _would_ tell him anything, anyways. 

but maybe ten didn't need johnny to tell him anything, when there were other ways of getting what he wanted.

_what he did best_.

it was quiet between the two for a moment, the tension of the unfinished statement settling over them.

johnny stayed against the wall as if ten still had the knife to his throat.

ten took another step towards the door. he didn't miss the way johnny leaned away from the wall in response.

"i guess i was just hoping for a little repayment after getting your dogs sicced on me," ten took his bottom lip between his teeth out of habit, flinching at the sting of his cut lip. "whatever. it's not like you would ever help me anyways, huh?"

johnny opened his mouth again, but ten simply sighed, giving a slight bow of his head, "have a good evening, mr. seo."

he turned around, but only made it to the doorway before johnny was calling out.

"wait!"

ten froze, his back to johnny.

"ten, wait."

his voice was quieter now. subdued.

ten spun slowly, on one heel, turning to face johnny.

the older man wore an expression ten couldn't place. it looked somewhat like a cross between aggravated and... worried? he wasn't sure.

"change your mind?" he asked.

johnny took in a short breath; he seemed to not know exactly what he was going to say.

ten took another step forward, towards him.

"i- no, i just..." johnny stuttered through his sentence, unsteady.

ten smiled. he had cast a line in uncertain waters, and sure enough, johnny had taken the bait.

in fact, he had already been caught on the hook, and now he just floundered as ten reeled him in with every step forward he took.

"'you just' what, johnny?" ten was barely a few feet from him now.

johnny seo looked impossibly small. ten still had to angle his head up to look him in the eyes, but that didn't have much to do with the fact that ten had him cornered, good and proper.

it seemed now that all ten had to do was give him a little push.

so, he took the last step forward, shortening the gap between them.

"you don't have any info for me?" ten raised his hands to the lapels of johnny's suit jacket, tracing the edges with his index fingers, "not even a little bit?"

johnny seemed to be holding in a breath, but he didn't back away.

"or perhaps..." ten trailed off; he followed the lines of johnny's jacket all the way up to his neck, lightly brushing his fingers along johnny's sharp jawline, "you've got something else for me, hmm?"

the lilt at the end of his sentence hung in the air, an open question.

ten looked through long lashes at johnny's wavering gaze.

he cocked a smile.

"_fuck_," johnny swore sharply, and his lips were on ten's in an instant, pushing hard and fast - ten would've had to take a step back if johnny's hands hadn't already gone to his waist, holding him tight.

there was nothing careful and delicate about their kiss, so different from their first one.

in the alley, that night, there was an air of uncertainty, the careful press of lips on lips, soft and plush from the rain.

but now?

johnny's mouth was hot against ten's, impossibly addicting, and ten couldn't help but press closer, hands curled up against his chest.

taking ten's face in his hands, johnny spun them slowly, pressing ten's back up into the wall and deepening the kiss with a tilt of his head.

ten let himself be pinned by johnny, hands coming to a rest around the waistband of johnny's pants.

it was amazing how easily johnny had given in.

the willpower this man had was next to none, and ten found that more amusing than anything else.

he couldn't keep himself from grinning into their kiss, lips parting for a moment.

the movement stung, but ten lulled the pain to the back of his mind by focusing on the way johnny traced his mouth with his tongue, letting himself be enveloped.

but then johnny nipped at his lower lip, and ten couldn't help the pained gasp he let out.

johnny pulled back so suddenly, ten nearly got whiplash.

"are you okay?" johnny asked breathlessly.

"it's fine," ten snapped, and the crease in johnny's brow melted a little.

"come on." johnny took ten's hand lightly and led him from the room, out into the hall.

ten didn't bother asking where they were going, following quietly behind, ignoring how johnny's fingers slotted almost perfectly between his.

they didn't take the stairs ten had used, but rather followed the hallway all the way to the stairs that led directly to the dance floor.

the two guards on the stairway stepped out of johnny's path, not even batting an eye at ten's presence.

but johnny glanced back momentarily, catching ten's gaze. ten held it steady.

mere moments later, he had johnny's back pressed against his own car, a hand down the front of his pants while johnny tried desperately to find the door-handle behind him.

"ten, ten, i-" johnny's breath was heavy, head tilted back with his eyes closed, "i need to- _fuck_\- i need to open the door, so we can go home."

reluctantly, ten withdrew, but not before pressing a kiss to johnny's parted lips first.

"alright then, baby, take me home."

johnny slid into the driver's seat in record time, ten in the passenger's, clicking his seatbelt in place and angling his head towards johnny, who was already peeling out of the back parking lot of the club.

in no time, they were out on the streets, flying past the other cars.

johnny's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, eyes set on the road.

ten had to give him credit for that, at least. ten had draped himself across the seat as lavishly as he could, one hand resting on his inner thigh, while the other played absently with johnny's, tracing the inseam of his pants.

johnny seemed to tremble under the touch, but he remained focused on driving.

this made ten frown. clearly, he hadn't yet broken the other man's composure.

"johnny..." ten leaned over the center console, lips brushing the shell of johnny's ear.

"hmm?" johnny murmured back, but didn't give any other response.

ten trailed his fingers higher; johnny shifted in his seat slightly.

"are we getting close?"

"ten, you've been there." his voice sounded breathy and light.

ten hummed, dropping his head a mouthing at johnny's neck, peppering his skin with open-mouthed kisses.

"maybe so," he whispered, and johnny shivered, "but i'm not very _patient_."

at that last word, ten brought his hand over johnny's bulge, palming him through his pants.

johnny let out a quiet noise, thighs closing out of instinct as ten touched him.

"ten, _please_," johnny managed, "we're almost there."

"and? can't we have a little fun?"

ten pressed a little harder, and johnny groaned, finally turning to look at him

"ten," he said pointedly, eyes sharp.

ten frowned but pulled away, sinking back into his own seat, rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath.

as if johnny had the better impulse control between the two of them.

johnny was true to his word, though, and not five minutes later, they were stumbling through his apartment, peeling off the layers of clothes between them as quick as they could through heated kisses, until ten was wearing nothing but his black t-shirt and briefs, and johnny in boxers.

ten sat on the edge of bed, legs splayed out with johnny between them, kissing him breathless.

johnny's fingers toyed with the hem of ten's shirt, tugging it up his chest.

raising his arms in answer, ten let johnny pull his shirt higher, up and over his head, but it caught slightly against the cut on his arm, and ten drew in a sharp breath of pain.

johnny dropped ten's shirt off to the side, immediately looking up at ten's arm.

"you okay?"

ten made a quiet _tch_ sound, turning his head and trying to hide his arm behind his back.

"i'm fine, just-"

"-no, i saw blood, what..."

his sentence trailed off as he saw ten's expression.

"johnny," ten said quietly, "it's fine. i promise."

"okay," johnny nodded, just as softly, and moved to lay ten down against the bedsheets, his kisses softer than before.

ten tilted his head back into the pillows as johnny kissed down the length of his neck, a hand diving beneath the band of his briefs.

he slid his fingers through johnny's hair, gripping it tight as he held back the noises threatening to spill out. johnny wrapped a hand around him, loose and teasing, teeth against his neck in a smile.

ten bucked into his grip, letting out a moan.

"johnny, _please_-" he whined when johnny's hands left his body, but he didn't have to wait for long.

johnny drew ten's briefs down his legs, leaving him completely naked. goosebumps followed the trail of johnny's fingers.

there was a quiet moment; ten, breathless and shivering, and johnny, warm and strong and between his thighs.

the bedside lamp cast a yellow glow over his face, highlighting his strong cheekbones and upturned lips.

ten thought that he looked like one of those paintings or statues in that art museum so long ago.

he wondered, vaguely, if he had met johnny at a different time, in a different situation...

suddenly, johnny was taking ten's dick in his mouth and any thoughts ten had in his head immediately vanished, only able to think of the feeling of johnny's tongue on him.

"_hngh_\- fuck, johnny-" ten whined, one hand entwined in johnny's soft hair, the other gripping the sheets beneath him until his knuckles turned white.

johnny moaned around ten, bobbing his head slowly, still teasing.

ten tried to keep his thighs from clenching too tightly, but he gave up control when johnny took ten as deep as he could, only to pull back up just as quickly.

he gave another whine of johnny's name, which had the other man pulling off completely.

"on your stomach," he muttered quietly, and ten rolled quickly off of his back, coming to a rest with his chest pressing into the soft sheets.

johnny gasped quietly.

"ten... your back..."

_my back?_ ten thought absently,_ what about it?_

he hadn't seen his back after the fight in the parking garage. in fact, he hadn't even bothered to check if there was any damage.

but clearly there was damage, judging by the way johnny's fingers touched lightly over where jaehyun had kicked him.

"it looks worse than it feels, i promise," ten commented lightly, head turned to gauge johnny's expression.

"did taeyong do this?" johnny asked, voice frail.

ten tilted his head at that.

"didn't know you cared, johnny."

"i-"

"now c'mon," ten cut him off before he could say anything else, "you're not gonna make me wait any longer, are you?"

he wasn't here to discuss the injuries that johnny's guard dogs had given him. 

thankfully, johnny got the message loud and clear, moving quickly to reach over ten towards the bedside table.

ten waited as patiently as he could, hips circling against the bedsheets, trying to get some friction as johnny busied himself with opening the lube.

suddenly, johnny's lips pressed against the top of his spine, at the base of his neck, accompanied by the cool feeling of johnny's finger over his entrance.

"okay?" johnny barely whispered, lips still against his back.

"mhm," ten answered just as quietly, arching his back into the feeling.

johnny pressed forward, achingly slow, and ten let out another long whine at the intrusion.

the sweet whispers against his back helped, but johnny was so slow and so careful with ten that he let out a frustrated groan.

"i'm not made of porcelain, johnny," he said through gritted teeth.

"i never said you were," johnny replied, breath hot on his skin.

"then go fast-_mmm!_ "

ten cried out when johnny found his prostate, barely even touching it, but it was enough to make his toes curl.

"like that?"

he got a moan in response, and he leisurely added a second finger, making ten push back against his hand with a sated sigh.

it was like that for a few minutes, ten coming apart at the seams under johnny's hands, moaning into the pillow below him, twitching every so often when johnny would go deeper.

"johnny, please, please," ten panted, bouncing back on three fingers, "i'm ready, just _please_-"

he collapsed back onto the bed, empty and cold when johnny withdrew his fingers.

his chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, fingers holding bunches of the sheets in his fists.

johnny pressed against his back again in a moment, kissing up the length of his shoulderblades to his neck until he reached his ear.

"still okay?" he asked, pressing bluntly against ten's entrance, and ten nodded.

"please," he begged once more, before johnny's lips were on his, swallowing the ensuing moan as he pushed forward, finally entering ten.

ten gasped once johnny was fully in, remembering the way it felt the last time, thanking whatever lucky star he needed to that he was able to feel it again.

johnny gave an experimental thrust, and ten jerked in his hold, mouth falling open.

a pleasant hum sounded in his ear, from deep in johnny's throat, as he rocked his hips slowly into ten.

ten whimpered in response, trying to press back into johnny, to get him to move faster.

"easy there," johnny chuckled, hands going to ten's hips to stop them, "don't want to hurt you."

"you won't."

ten's voice was indignant and wanting, and probably ignorant as well, but it didn't matter to him. 

what mattered was getting johnny to push him into the mattress and fuck him.

but johnny was still moving slowly, and ten was sick of it.

"you won't hurt me, johnny, _you won't_, please, i just need- i just-"

his voice got higher as his pleads were slowly answered, johnny giving another quickly thrust that had him keening.

"ngh, johnny, _please_," ten moaned, turning his head to sink into the pillows, going limp and pliant under johnny's body.

johnny's hands crept up to ten's, turning them palm-up and lacing their fingers together, before he began to thrust hard and fast, answering ten's begs.

ten could only revel in the feeling, eyelids fluttering as he lay there, gripping johnny's hands like they were his only lifeline.

it was only a matter of time before ten was clenching down on johnny, so close that he let loose sobs at every thrust.

"johnny, _johnny_," ten moaned the name like a mantra, like it was the only thing he'd ever known to say, and johnny let go of one of his hands to wrap deft fingers around his dick, pumping him in time with his thrusts.

"ten," johnny whispered in his ear, "ten, ten, _ten_."

and that was all it took before ten cried out, muffled into the pillow, as he came.

johnny followed suit, thrusting a few more times before he gasped, forehead pressing into the space between ten's shoulders as he panted through his own orgasm.

ten crumpled against the bed, boneless and exhausted, eyes shut.

he trembled when johnny pulled out, but remained otherwise unmoved.

it was getting harder and harder to try and open his eyes.

but when johnny shifted next to him, ten remembered the one thing he was supposed to do tonight: _don't sleep overnight again_.

with a groan, ten forced himself to sit up, loosening his sweaty hand from johnny's.

"what are you doing?" johnny asked, and ten turned his head to see johnny up on his elbows, watching ten.

"going home," ten answered truthfully, standing and searching around for his underwear, which he found at the foot of the bed.

johnny was quiet for a moment, watching ten scrounge around the bedroom to find his t-shirt in the light of the warm lamp.

it wasn't until ten had found the shirt and pulled it on that johnny spoke.

"stay."

it was quiet, as if johnny hadn't meant to say it out loud, but ten caught it anyways.

he turned to look at johnny, sitting up in the bed, brow furrowed.

"why?" ten shot back, bewildered.

surely there was no reason for johnny to desire his company after this?

johnny looked troubled, conflicted.

"i... i don't know, i just-" johnny muttered, "it's late."

ten raised an eyebrow, quizzical.

"and it's dark out," johnny stuck with his answer, "you shouldn't be out this late at night."

it was an excuse.

it was a poorly crafted, bad excuse.

they both knew it was.

they were both members of the goddamn mafia, when were they ever _not_ out this late at night?

but johnny wasn't backing down.

and ten had to admit, it didn't sound very appealing to go all the way back down to the lobby and wait for a taxi or a lyft to pick him up.

surely... it wouldn't hurt to stay the night, would it?

ten turned fully towards johnny, crossing his arms.

"then i want a shower first," he demanded, "otherwise, i'm going straight home."

johnny nodded, gesturing towards the bathroom.

"help yourself, then."

ten padded across the room towards the open doorway johnny pointed to, flicking the light-switch on and shutting the door behind him.

johnny's shower was ridiculously large, but easy to work, and soon enough, ten stood under a spray of steaming hot water, letting it envelop him

he wasn't exactly sure how long he stood there, head pressed against the cool tile wall while the water cascaded down his back, but he knew exactly what he was thinking.

one thought looped over and over again in his head.

_what the hell am i doing? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did not even edit this, so i'm so sorry for spelling mistakes
> 
> also i'm so fucking sorry kun is such a dick in this, i love him so fucking much that it literally HURTS to write his dialogue sometimes, knowing he would never ever say anything like this. i promise, i love him to pieces and i know he loves his members more than anything
> 
> (also also, thanks to the lovely luvly who commented on my last chapter, i'm going to try to start posting little updates and things about this fic on my twitter!! my user is @daegushoya!!


	4. part IV: the enamour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ten continues to make bad decisions, but thankfully realizes some shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all, all of the comments and love on the last chapter made me so happy :')
> 
> but fr i am so so so sorry i made y'all wait so long for this shorter chapter, i've had a lot of personal stuff going on in these last few weeks, but thankfully spring break allowed me some time to wind down and write!!
> 
> i love you all <3

**seoul, south korea**

**2:37 am**

sometime in the dead of the night, some few hours after he had collapsed into johnny's bed with damp hair and a fresh shirt (it took a several-minute long argument alone to try and convince him to don _anything_ that johnny owned), ten woke again.

it took a moment for him to realize exactly where he was, and exactly whose arm was wrapped around his waist.

he took in a short breath, heavy eyelids slowly blinking open.

the room was still dark, and nearly silent too, if not for the soft sounds of johnny sleeping behind him, lips barely parted.

ten should've felt smothered; johnny's chest pressed against the entirety of his back, elbow hooked around ten's waist, even their legs tangled together under the sheets.

but instead of feeling overheated and uncomfortable, ten felt...

_fuck_, he swore at himself. he wasn't supposed to be feeling like this.

he thought of the conversation he and johnny had shared, just before climbing into bed.

johnny had still been sitting in the bed, undressed but still covered by the sheets, while ten stood in the doorway of the bathroom, haphazardly drying his hair with a towel.

the scene had been surprisingly domestic; it sent a prickle up the back of ten's neck.

"why?" he questioned, before he lost the nerve to voice his thoughts, "why are you being so kind?"

johnny had merely looked up at ten, who was clad in an oversized tee and too-large basketball shorts that had to be cinched at the waist to fit.

his gaze held many more words than he said, but ten still couldn't figure out the sentence he was trying to say.

"i don't know," johnny answered after a beat of silence, giving a slight shake of his head.

ten dropped his towel onto the bathroom tile, staring hard at johnny.

"you _'don't know' _? what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

johnny sighed, hunched over. he didn't answer.

running a frustrated hand through his hair, ten turned away, wanting to look anywhere except johnny's defeated-looking posture.

"what happened to 'it was a mistake', huh?" he asked, and johnny seemed to sink even further into the bed, "did you change your mind before or _after_ you were gonna have me killed in that parking garage?" 

that seemed to get johnny's attention.

he turned toward ten, jarred, shaking his head.

"no, i-i never meant for them to-"

"what, murder me?" ten spat, "what did you think they were going to do when you left? pick me up, brush me off, and send me on my way with a pat on the back?"

johnny fell silent at that.

ten gave an aggravated sigh, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. god, he felt like kun, doing that.

"whatever," he said quickly, "just- forget it. do you have any bandages?"

and just like that, the conversation was over, and ten had disappeared back into the bathroom to wrap up the cut taeyong had carved into his arm.

now, ten was staring at those same bandages in the darkness of the bedroom, running a thumb back and forth over the scratchy material, trying not to focus on the points where johnny's skin pressed against his.

he wanted to wake johnny up and ask him again just why the hell he was so lenient with him, why he worried over his wounds and asked if he was okay.

it just didn't make any sense.

ten shifted, turning from his right side to his left, until he was face-to-face with johnny.

the man hadn't so much as moved the arm that still lay across ten's waist.

"why?" ten asked quietly, voice barely above a whisper. "johnny, why?"

there was no answer. ten hadn't expected one, anyways. it was clear that johnny was a heavy sleeper.

he looked much younger when he slept, ten observed. there was no grimace, no worry creasing his brow, just slightly pursed lips and a cheek pressed up against the pillow.

pretty.

ten wasn't afraid to let himself think that.

it was just fact. indisputable.

the sun is a star.

johnny seo is pretty.

and warm.

ten had half the mind to curl in closer to johnny's chest, letting the other man cradle him as he fell back asleep.

it wasn't a deplorable idea.

so, he shifted again, tucking his head into the space under johnny's chin and resting it there.

johnny's body heat wrapped around him like a warm hearth on a chilly winter night, safe and comforted. 

ten couldn't remember the last time he felt like this.

carefree. protected. safe enough to fall asleep without feeling like he had to have a knife or gun under the pillow.

and it was all while he lay in the arms of his sworn enemy.

well, _qian kun's_ sworn enemy, really. 

strictly speaking, ten didn't really have any reason to see johnny as his enemy. not personally. 

sure, hating johnny seo with every inch of his being was supposed to be in his job description, but the more that ten talked to him, johnny was turning out to be less like the ruthless kingpin kun had made him out to be and more like a normal 25-year-old guy.

as normal as an inherited mafia boss could be.

ten wondered if johnny had even _wanted_ to take his father's place as the head of the mafia. was it something johnny had trained all his life to do? or was it forced upon him, with no real other viable options to choose?

did johnny want out in the same way ten did?

his thoughts were getting to a risky territory again, but kun wasn't anywhere around to hear them.

what would he have done if he'd never met kun, never gotten into this massive hole he digs deeper for himself every day?

would he have found an honest job? built a normal career?

ten hadn't been given much free time to discover his passions since he'd met kun. 

art and music had always interested him, but there was no time to draw or paint when there were missions to run and contracts to fulfill.

would he have even gone to university?

ten could hardly picture it; chittaphon leechaiyapornkul, carrying books from class to class, studying for finals instead of learning to survive with knives and guns on the street, qian kun by his side.

he never would've met hendery, if he'd chosen a different life.

young, sweet hendery, too kind to be growing up in the world they lived in, undeserving of kun's violence.

ten gave a heavy sigh, curling in closer to johnny's chest.

no, he would never be able to escape, and neither would hendery. 

it was unwise to think any other way.

next to him, johnny moved in his sleep, the arm that wrapped around ten's waist tightening around him, pulling him closer.

ten felt himself smile ever-so-slightly.

hesitantly, he also stretched out his arm, fingers brushing over the groove of johnny's hip before curling around his side, holding him the same way he held ten.

once again, _safe_.

_tomorrow is another day_, ten reassured himself, _a clean slate_.

with that final thought in mind, he closed his eyes, falling asleep to the rhythm of johnny's heartbeat against his palm.

**11:29 am**

ten felt the missing warmth even before he fully woke up.

he could tell in the way that goosebumps prickled up on his bare arms as he shifted.

the empty space on the bed next to him was still a little warm; an afterthought of johnny's presence, a shadow.

ten pushed himself into a sitting position, sheets falling off his shoulders into a pile on his lap, rubbing his bleary eyes.

sunlight streamed in through the tall windows, illuminating the room with a warm, hazy glow.

johnny was nowhere to be seen.

however, ten could hear sounds coming from the kitchen through the cracked-open bedroom door.

the telltale signs of breakfast-making; clinks of silverware against glass, the smell of eggs and spices in the air, the tune of a song that brought warmth to ten's cheeks when he realized johnny was humming as he cooked.

ten had half the mind to curl into the sheets and go back to bed. the light through the window lit up a patch of the comforter that would be perfect to lay in, basking in the sun.

but, ten was an adult, and had important things to do, no matter how appealing going back to sleep sounded.

he found his phone sitting on the nightstand, plugged in and fully charged. ten thanked johnny silently, tossing the charger away and peering at his notifications.

there was a text from yukhei, asking if he'd be home for dinner from the night before, a few from hendery, wondering where he was, one from yangyang about the next upcoming race, and one single text from qian kun: _update?_

ten clicked on it and began to type a response: _ended up at his apartment again. stayed the night. i'll spare you the details ;)_

within moments, kun had seen it and responded: _ten, please. info?_

ten rolled his eyes. kun was far too used to his antics to get a rise out of anymore

_not much_, he tapped the keyboard rapidly, _he was having a meeting at neo-tech, but he wouldn't tell me what it was about. he's acting weird_.

kun's reply came quick again: _see if you can get more. remember, you're not just fucking him for fun, as much as you'd like that._

ten felt his free hand clench into a fist as he read the text. and read it again. and again.

_as much as you'd like that_.

fucking prick.

ten blew out a short breath and typed a short response,_ i know_, before locking his phone and tossing it into his lap.

kun always knew the right thing to say to set ten on edge.

he always knew the right thing, and he knew that no matter what he said, ten wouldn't ever be able to do anything about it.

kun could belittle him, degrade him, humiliate him, and ten wouldn't be able to do anything except sit there and take it because nobody ever crossed qian kun, even if he'd wronged them first.

one snarky comment wasn't enough for ten to put his life on the line.

besides, he was growing a collection at this point, of all the shitty, disheartening things kun said to him.

this one was no different.

but he couldn't help but be put in a sour mood regardless.

deserting the warmth of the bed, ten slid his legs out from under the sheets and padded across the room to the door, peeking through the crack between the door and the frame at johnny moving around in the kitchen.

his back was turned to ten as he stood in front of the stove, frying something up in a pan. it smelled heavenly, but ten backed away from the door with a sigh.

he may have stayed the night, but there was no way in hell he was staying for breakfast. 

ten was about to start searching for his keys, but quickly realized his car was still parked behind the neo-tech nightclub, where he'd left it last night.

"fuck," he swore sharply. johnny could _not_ drive him home.

after a moment of thought, ten crossed the room again and snatched his phone up, opening his chat with yukhei.

first, he sent the address of johnny's apartment complex, then added the accompanying text: _hey, can you pick me up? i don't have my car with me right now_.

thankfully, ten only had to wait an agonizing three minutes before yukhei responded: _sure, be there in a few_.

yukhei didn't ask any questions, and ten was grateful for that. he wasn't sure he could explain all that had happened in the last twelve hours.

he just wanted to go home.

so, ten began to search around the room for his socks, ignoring the twinge in his back when he bent over to pick them up. 

really, he felt sore all over, but there wasn't much he could do about that, so he pushed through.

after a moment, ten had gathered his clothes in a bundle in his arms, still wearing johnny's oversized shirt and athletic shorts, and nudged the door open with his foot, walking quietly out into the living room.

he couldn't leave without johnny noticing, not this time. he'd have to brave the morning-after conversation.

johnny didn't notice ten until he'd reached the front door where his shoes sat; he had been wrapped up in his own little world as he hummed a little melody over the stove.

it wasn't until ten set his things down on the couch so he could get his shoes on that johnny turned, eyes widening in surprise before he calmed slightly.

"oh, hey. sleep well?"

ten, jaw still clenched in residual irritation from kun's text, gave a slight nod.

"swimmingly."

johnny pursed his lips.

"ah."

ten couldn't help the coolness radiating off of him. 

it wasn't like johnny deserved it anyways.

he'd been nothing but kind the entire night, and ten was repaying him by being a bitch.

"what about you?" he made himself ask, bowing his head slightly so he didn't have to look johnny in the eye.

johnny's eyebrow arched, "hmm?"

"did you... sleep well?"

his cheeks burned. why the hell was it so hard to ask one damn question?

johnny didn't answer for a moment, and when ten looked up, the corner of his mouth was quirked up in a smile.

"yeah, i did," he spoke softly.

ten nodded in response, mumbling, "good, that's good..."

eager to disrupt the silence that followed, ten began to loosen the laces on his shoes so he could pull them on easier.

he could see johnny watching him out of the corner of his eye, but ignored the gaze.

"are you leaving, then?" johnny asked, voice still quiet.

ten finished the knots on his shoes, standing back up and fixing johnny with a quizzical look.

"what else would i do?"

johnny looked away, eyes roaming around the kitchen. 

he gestured half-heartedly towards the pan on the stove, "i made breakfast. thought you might stay for that."

"johnny..." ten worried at his bottom lip, giving a little shake of his head.

he didn't understand why johnny was so adamant about him staying.

he was behaving... oddly. ten had already given up trying to make sense of him, but now he was just perplexing.

"johnny," he said again, "why are you being like this?"

"like what?" 

"like-" ten waved his hands nonsensically, "-this, i don't know! you want me to stay over, you're worried about my bruises, you're trying to get me to stay for breakfast and i just- i don't understand!"

johnny clenched his jaw, looking down.

"johnny, i- i don't know what you want, or why you want it, but i can't give it to you. i can't."

"what if i don't know either, ten?" johnny shot back, voice wavering, "because i _don't_. i can't explain it to you, i just-"

"then don't, okay? just- let it go." ten gave johnny a pitying look, "let me go."

he placed his hand on the doorknob, partially to have something to hold on to so his hand would stop shaking.

johnny took in a sharp breath as if to say something, but closed his mouth, looking away.

ten took that as his cue to leave, muttering a quick, "goodbye, johnny," before ducking through the door, shutting it quietly behind him.

his thoughts raced the entire way down the hallway to the elevators.

what was johnny _thinking?_

ten couldn't make any sense of it.

and clearly, johnny couldn't either.

it couldn't be that he... no. no, johnny couldn't ever have those kinds of feelings for ten. just the same way ten could never have those feelings for johnny.

it didn't work like that.

and even if it did, it wasn't like anything could happen, anyways. not with who johnny was. not with kun's capabilities. 

ten had to cement that into his brain. 

it couldn't happen. _ever._

it wasn't until ten had reached the elevator and gotten halfway down the complex that he realized his clothes were still sitting in a bundle on johnny's couch.

ten shivered as he waited at the curb in front of the apartment complex. 

the morning was chilly, and the thin tee and shorts ten wore did absolutely nothing to block the breeze.

he only got a few looks from the passerby, a slight up-and-down glance from a suited businesswoman, a group of schoolboys passing by in uniform that raised their eyebrows at the sight of him.

it wasn't anything that bothered him. he'd gotten his fair share of 'looks' before.

ten simply wrapped his arms tighter around his thin waist and wished for yukhei to get here faster.

a sudden noise, separate from the normal bustle of the city, drew ten's attention behind him.

_click_.

the snap of a photo being taken.

ten turned to the side with a frown, scanning the pedestrians on the sidewalk to see if any of them had a camera, but he couldn't see anything.

another _click_.

this time, ten whirled around the other way, watching the entrance of the apartment complex and the windows a few floors up.

still nothing.

_click._

"what the fuck?" ten muttered to himself, turning, this time, to the narrow alleyway between the complex and the building next to it.

his eyes scanned the alley, alcoved, dumpsters, and all, and thought he saw maybe a flash of movement behind one of them. he took a hesitant step forward, eyes narrowed, before-

the sound of a car honking right behind him made ten jump, turning around with a glare until he saw yukhei pulled up next to the curb, window rolled down so he could shout, "ten!"

"yukhei," ten let out a relieved sigh, "thank god."

his friend peered at him over passenger seat, looking him up and down with a quizzical expression.

"wow. you look..." 

ten glanced down, remembering exactly _whose_ clothes he was wearing, the bandage on his arm, the bruises on his face.

"i don't want to talk about it," he huffed, reaching for the door and sliding into the passenger seat with ease.

yukhei glanced up at the apartment complex.

"is that... johnny's-"

"i said _i don't want to talk about it_," ten snapped, "let's just go home."

yukhei gave ten a strange look that he barely caught in the corner of his eye, but pulled away from the curb and back into traffic, heading home.

the ride home had been silent and awkward, but yukhei respected his wishes and didn't prod anymore about what had happened the night before.

neither of them spoke until they entered the living room, kicking their shoes off.

"did hendery stay over last night?" ten asked, "i saw some texts from him."

yukhei furrowed his brow, shaking his head.

"no, he left late, though. said he'd be back this morning."

"ah."

ten traipsed over to the couch, collapsing unceremoniously against the cushions, paying no mind to the way his body protested the jerky movement.

yukhei let out a soft chuckle, and ten felt his weight sink into the couch next to him, placing a comforting hand pat his back.

"you alright in there?"

ten nodded, messing his hair against the couch.

"i'm fine," he muttered, voice muffled by the cushion, "just tired."

"yeah, i'll bet," yukhei snickered, and ten lifted his head from the couch to fix him with a glare.

yukhei held his hands up in mock defense, but ten couldn't hold his look for long. he could never be mad at yukhei.

so, ten pulled his best pouty face and asked, "would you rub my back?"

in response, yukhei gave a resigned sigh, wordlessly running his fingertips up and down the length of ten's back.

ten closed his eyes and let his head rest against the cushion, letting out a heavy breath.

yukhei was always too sweet to him.

"how was..." ten stifled a yawn through his sentence, "how was your night, xuxi? do anything fun?"

ten couldn't see him, but he felt yukhei's shrug shift his arm.

"not much. watched some more of that drama i was telling you about the other day after dinner."

ten wracked his brain to remember, then let out a little noise of recollection, "ah, that chinese one? with the soulmates?"

"mhm. it's getting pretty serious. i'm on episode twenty-six right now."

ten hummed in response.

"tell me about it?" he asked quietly.

yukhei began to talk about the characters in his drama and all the crazy things that were happening, and ten found himself slowly drifting off, not due to the subject boring him, but rather that yukhei's soft voice accompanied by the light scratch of his fingers on ten's back was somehow the perfect recipe to lull him off to sleep even after he'd already gotten plenty the night before.

the last thing he heard before drifting off completely was yukhei's eager tone talking about how the characters were crying in the rain, which was symbolic of something or other, and he was out cold.

ten came back into consciousness to the sound of hushed conversation behind him.

"...happened to his face?" someone questioned. it sounded like hendery, judging by the tone.

"i don't know," yukhei responded, "he said he didn't want to talk about it."

there was a pause as ten slowly blinked his eyes open, the hazy image of the living room coming into view.

"are those even his clothes?" hendery asked, sounding bewildered.

"i don't think so."

ten realized very quickly that the conversation was about him.

he was also not above pretending to sleep to hear a little more of what they were talking about.

"you said you picked him up _where?_ "

yukhei sighed quietly.

"i think... it might have been johnny's apartment."

it was quiet after that. 

ten wished yukhei hadn't said that. hadn't told hendery. it brought up a guilt within him.

he didn't want hendery to see him the way kun did.

so, not wanting to hear any more of that, ten shifted on the couch, stretching and letting out a yawn to alert his friends to his presence.

"ah, he's awake!" hendery said quickly, and ten turned towards the voice.

yukhei and hendery were sat at the kitchen table behind the couch, looking over at him.

hendery looked happy to see him, whereas yukhei held a fond, sort of worried look in his eyes.

"hey there, sleeping beauty," he called, and ten rolled his eyes, "you didn't even listen to the rest of my rant."

ten dragged himself off of the couch and over to where they sat, mockingly bowing his head to yukhei.

"i promise i'll listen to it next time."

now it was yukhei's turn to roll his eyes.

"yeah, yeah. breakfast? hendery brought some."

within minutes, ten was sat between them, taking sips of coffee through bites of little pastries hendery had gotten from the cafe.

he could see hendery trying hard not to look at ten's bruised face while he ate, and ten smiled to himself.

"don't worry," he said quietly, and hendery furrowed his brow, "it doesn't hurt that much anymore. give it a week and i'll be all healed up."

hendery looked dubious, pursing his lips, but before he could say anything, ten raised a finger at him.

"ah, ah, ah. remember what i said last time? i'm-"

"-too smart to get killed. yeah, i remember, ten-_ge_."

ten gave an affirmative nod, reaching up to ruffle hendery's hair.

"exactly. so quit worrying your pretty little head about it, okay 'dery?"

hendery batted his hand away, fixing his hair with a whine, but eventually nodded in agreement.

"good."

on his other side, yukhei drew their attention, "guys, got something new from yangyang, look at this."

he tilted his phone so ten and hendery could see it, reading the text quickly.

"looks like we're getting back on the racetrack," yukhei commented, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

ten grinned in response.

"can i drive?"

the race yangyang had found out about wasn't set until the following friday night, which gave them a few days to figure out the logistics of it all.

as per ten's request, he would be the one driving this time, with hendery as his passenger.

they drove a few practice rounds together, getting a feel for the car and its controls; ten was thrilled to be behind the wheel again, racing.

he hadn't raced in a while - it almost felt like a homecoming.

kun had said his fair share in organizing their involvement in the race, having spent many days on several phone calls with ten or yukhei, sometimes even hendery.

"you will all need to be careful," kun warned on a call with ten the day before the race, "watch your backs, and never let your guard down."

"yeah, yeah," ten nodded, "don't worry, kun, we've got it."

kun's heavy sigh told him that he was too tired to remind ten to call him _'ge'_. 

"just... don't do anything stupid."

"you know me," ten replied dryly, "never do."

kun scoffed, and promptly hung up.

ten always enjoyed it when he could bother kun like that.

still, he didn't take the warning lightly.

when the day of the race finally came, ten made sure that everybody knew what to do if things went south.

the plan was for ten and hendery to head to the track first, while yukhei, yangyang, sicheng, and xiaojun would hang around the crowd, keeping an eye out for taeyong and jaehyun, and most of all, johnny.

ten still wasn't quite sure how to feel about johnny.

it wasn't plausible to ten for johnny to like him, but the more he thought about it, the more johnny's actions led him to that conclusion.

the only question that left ten reeling was _why?_

why did johnny seo, mafia boss and absolute rival to ten, develop feelings like this?

especially since their meetings consisting mostly of beating the shit out of each other and... fucking.

something equally as puzzling to ten now was _did he feel the same?_

sure, it was hard to get the image of johnny's smile out of his head. 

and the warmth of sleeping in his arms.

and his crushed expression when ten left in the morning.

ten couldn't help but feel that maybe there could be _more_. more there, more between them.

if they weren't who they were.

kun would surely kill ten at the first thought that he could be developing feelings for _johnny fucking seo_.

so ten didn't speak a word of this new development to anyone. not yukhei, not hendery, and definitely not qian kun.

some things were better kept to himself, ten decided.

besides, he had a race to focus on anyways. the last thing he'd want was to get distracted and put his teammates' lives in danger.

ten would deal with it all after the race.

he just had to win it first.

the night of the race, ten couldn't help but feel the same sense of dread he'd felt the first time.

he tried hard to put it out of his mind, but it kept creeping back, crawling up his spine and raising the hair on his neck.

the plan had already been solidified, and everyone had gone over it so many times that it was ingrained in their heads.

so why did he still feel like something was wrong?

"do you have your gun on you?" ten questioned yukhei, poking his head into the bathroom while yukhei messed with his hair.

"yeah, why?" yukhei answered, not even sparing a glance.

"just making sure."

ten made his way back to his own bedroom, fiddling with the lapels of his suit jacket in the mirror.

he'd dressed up for the occasion, donning a sleeveless black turtleneck that clung to his small frame under a fitted blazer, paired with black jeans and his ridiculously-platformed boots that gave him an extra two inches.

the turtleneck was starting to feel a little uncomfortable; ten pulled at the neck of it every so often, but it was too late to change. he'd already done his hair, and hendery had told him he looked amazing, so there was no way he was finding a different outfit now.

the blazer also perfectly covered up the gun tucked into his pants, so that was a plus.

a knock on the door-frame drew ten's attention behind him.

"ready to go?" hendery asked, dangling the keys to their car between pinched fingers.

"as i'll ever be," ten answered, giving one last glance in the mirror and adjusting his sleeves before gesturing for hendery to lead the way down the hall.

_please_, ten thought, watching the bounce in hendery's step as he walked, _let them all be okay after this_.

the race, ten found, was virtually the same as the previous one.

he and hendery had pulled into the side-street that led them to the track, separating them from the rest of the crew, but once they pulled up to the start along with the rest of the cars, ten easily picked them out in the crowd, which calmed him.

well, at least yukhei and sicheng were hanging around the crowds close to the starting line. yangyang and xiaojun were surely surveying, keeping a lower profile than their easily-recognizable teammates.

the crowd was similar to the previous race, music booming and a haze of smoke hanging over them all, swirling in the chilly night air.

the moon was full, but every-so-often, a cloud would drift in front of it, darkening the ground, shadows disappearing into the rest of the night.

it held a sense of foreboding in the air.

ten sat back in the driver's seat for a moment, shutting his eyes and taking a few breaths.

"_ge_," hendery spoke quietly, "are you okay?"

"i'm okay, 'dery," ten sighed, "don't worry."

hendery exhaled sharply through his nose, as if scoffing.

"all i _can_ do is worry, ten-_ge_. lately you've been... i don't know... something's up. and the other morning-"

"'dery-"

"-yukhei-_ge_ told me a little bit and i just-"

"_hendery_," ten said forcefully, fixing the younger with a glare, "it's _fine_."

hendery went quiet at ten's expression, bowing his head at the reprimand.

ten immediately felt his heart sink with guilt.

it wasn't fair of him to get angry. hendery was _worrying_ for him, and in return ten was being dishonest and cold.

_god, i really am turning into kun_, ten thought, crestfallen. _my worst fucking nightmare_.

"look, 'dery," ten tried to steady his voice, placing a comforting hand on hendery's shoulder, "i'm sorry. about everything that's been happening. about me, about kun, about-"

"-mr. seo?"

ten furrowed his brow, "yeah, him too, i guess, but-"

"no, _ge_," hendery nudged at ten's arm, "mr. seo. he's here."

ten followed where hendery was looking, through the driver's side window, and saw a new car pulled up to the starting line, next to theirs. 

the windows were tinted dark, but there was no need, as the driver had already stepped out, surveying the crowd.

"you've got to be fucking kidding me," ten whispered under his breath, "he's driving for his _own_ mafia?"

"guess so," hendery replied, disbelief in his voice.

ten took a moment to compose himself before opening the car door.

he hadn't seen or spoken to johnny once since the morning he'd left. he wasn't sure which johnny he'd be meeting tonight.

would he be cold and distant, like in the cafe? 

or would he carry on like nothing had happened? would he see ten as an enemy once more, with how ten had left?

bracing for the worst, ten popped the door open and stepped onto the pavement.

johnny's gaze found him over the sleek top of his car, eyes widening.

"johnny," ten greeted him quietly, bowing his head slightly.

"ten," johnny responded, his voice just as soft.

but then, there was somebody calling johnny's name from across the starting line, and without sparing ten another glance, johnny walked away, following the call.

ten felt a strange hollowness in his chest. so, cold and distant it was.

he knew now that it was _his_ fault.

johnny had looked so... lost, that morning.

_whatever it is he wants, i can't give it to him._

he couldn't. and maybe it hurt johnny to say that but he couldn't.

_johnny cares for me. he worried for me._

so has everybody else, hendery, yukhei, and the rest.

_he wanted me to stay. and i left him._

it was all he could do. anything else would be too dangerous to consider.

ten's rationality battled with the voice in the back of his head, trying to convince him he had done the right thing, the other half trying to convince him the only right thing _to_ do was to say yes.

_fuck._

ten wanted to scream.

_i have feelings for him_.

letting himself think that felt like a weight off of his chest he never knew was there.

_i have feelings for johnny seo_.

he wanted more than anything to say yes to johnny. to admit out loud that the feelings that had been stirring since their very first meeting were very much _real_ and _there_.

he just wanted to-

"ten-_ge! _"

hendery snapped his fingers at ten, trying to get his attention.

"did you hear me? the race is about to start."

ten gave a little shake of his head.

he was too distracted.

he couldn't think about racing when he had only just now realized he'd been suppressing his emotions for the last month or so.

but he had to. he had to focus. his hendery's sake_ and_ his own.

he wouldn't be able to reflect on his feelings if he was in a coma from crashing the car during a race.

"okay, 'dery. let yukhei know we're okay and get in the car."

ten ducked back into the car, buckling his seat-belt and drumming his fingers against the steering wheel anxiously as he waited.

it only took a moment for hendery to signal yukhei and climb back into the passenger seat. once there, he rolled down the window to keep an eye out for the starting mark.

the surrounding cars on the starting line (only two others, besides johnny's and their own) began to roar to life, engines significantly louder than their performance.

"you ready, ten-_ge?_ " hendery questioned, "it'll be okay."

ten managed a nod, a nervous smile tugging at his lips.

"i should be the one reassuring you, 'dery."

hendery laughed, teeth flashing, "it's okay, _ge_. i know sometimes you need reassurance too."

warmth blossomed in ten's chest at the younger's words. 

hendery really was too sweet on him.

"thanks, 'dery," ten said, reaching over the ruffling the younger's soft dark hair.

"_ge_," hendery whined, brushing off ten's hands and fixing his hair, "come _on_."

outside the windshield, johnny crossed in front of their car on his way back to his own.

for nothing more than a split second, his gaze met ten's, unguarded and open.

ten felt the breath catch in his throat, lips parting as if to say something, but just as quickly, johnny was looking away, disappearing into his car and out of view.

_i'll deal with that later_, ten thought quickly, bringing his attention back into the car, to his hands on the steering wheel, his foot on the gas.

in the passenger's seat, hendery tapped at the dashboard and rolled down his window to listen, "okay, get ready. they're starting soon."

ten switched his foot to the break, switching the gear from park to drive and gripped the steering wheel tight.

the same man that had started the last race, jungwoo, was here again, and was clambering atop the cement barrier, red flag in hand.

just like last time, there was no way of hearing his voice, but ten wasn't sure he'd be able to hear him anyways over the sound of his thundering heartbeat.

jungwoo raised the red flag high in the air.

across the barrier, yukhei and sicheng watched intently. yukhei gave ten a slight nod of encouragement. ten steeled his breath.

the flag wavered in the air.

ten's pulse felt louder than the car engines around him.

next to him, hendery tensed in his seat, ready.

_i've got to win_, ten thought, foot ready to switch and press down the gas, _i've got to-_

the flag snapped downwards, and time slowed.

in the following seconds, ten couldn't remember telling his body to move, but in a great roar of engines and screeching of tires on pavement, ten found himself with three pairs of headlights in his rear-view mirror and long, empty stretch of road winding through the dense trees in front of him.

beside him, hendery looked breathless, eyes wide.

ten didn't let that distract him.

he may be in the lead now, but the headlights behind him were sure to catch up if he so much as allowed himself a breath.

the thrum of the car beneath his hands helped ten calm his heartbeat and feel the rhythm of the road; exactly how close to catch the turns and how stay ahead of the other racers.

_stay ahead of johnny_.

speaking of him... johnny's car was the closest one, hot on ten's trail through every bend the curve in the road. 

he was beginning to draw closer and closer as ten approached a sharper turn up ahead.

"ten-_ge_," hendery warned lowly.

"i know, i see it," ten replied quickly, eyes flitting between the road and the ever-encroaching headlights in the side mirror.

if he took the turn sharp, he could probably stay ahead of johnny, but he wasn't positive he could take it without the possibility of sliding into the dirt, and possibly flipping the car.

ten kept the same pace, knuckles turning white against the steering wheel.

"ten-"

"i _know_."

as the curve came closer and closer, ten glanced over at hendery, his expression just on the cusp of scared.

_i can't get hendery hurt_.

even if it meant he'd lose.

_i can't get him hurt_.

the curve hit.

ten released the gas just barely, taking the outside of the curve.

johnny's car flew past the right side of the car, nearly taking off the side mirror as it did, and now instead of the blank stretch of road in front of him, ten found himself staring into the taillights of johnny's bmw as he pulled ahead.

hendery gasped, and ten swore, loud and harsh.

he pressed the gas, hard, trying to catch up to johnny. 

_maybe he could still win, maybe_-

the sharp and sudden sound of gunfire rattled across the road, shattering the driver's side window and fracturing the windshield.

hendery cried out as ten felt his pulse race once more, _where the fuck was it coming from, where-_

johnny's break lights flashed, his car stopping in line right in front of ten's and-

metal on metal sounded in ten's ears as he desperately spun the wheel to the right to avoid johnny's car but couldn't turn back quick enough to avoid spinning out-

ten shut his eyes before he felt the impact, hand instinctively flying out across hendery's chest, before his seat-belt tightened against his chest and his vision blacked out.

it was only for moments, ten could tell, that he'd been out, vision blurring and ears ringing with gunfire.

through the cracked windshield, ten could see the hood of the car crunched up against the trunk of a tree, smoke slowly swelling from underneath.

"_fuck_," he groaned, fumbling for the buckle of his seat-belt, "_hendery_."

the boy next to him let out a soft whimper, head drooping over his chest.

terror rushed through ten, red-hot.

_had he been shot?_

"_hendery?_ " ten asked immediately, reaching over to shake the younger's shoulder.

that seemed to jerk the other awake, as he cried out in pain, drawing away from the movement.

"_ten-ge,_" he whimpered, his hand going up to cradle his left bicef, "it _hurts_."

in a sudden rush, ten remembered where they were.

someone was _shooting_ at them.

and they were _probably still out there_.

ten quickly grabbed his phone from the center console, shoving it in his pocket and kicking the driver's side door open in his attempt to get hendery out of the car as soon as possible.

"c'mon," ten whispered, popping open the passenger's side door and reaching over hendery to unbuckle his seatbelt, "we have to get out of here, quickly."

hendery let out a pained whine as ten moved his arm, and ten shushed him as one would a baby, telling him it would be alright as he practically man-handled the boy out of his seat.

as ten moved hendery further into the trees around them, away from the car, his thoughts raced through his head.

_who was shooting at them?_

_did johnny organize it?_

_were yukhei, sicheng, and the rest okay? _

and most of all, _what the fuck was going on?_

hendery stumbled through a few steps until ten finally decided they had gotten far enough away to rest for a second.

they stopped at a tree, ten crouching down while he laid hendery's back against the trunk.

"hendery," ten whispered harshly, "let me see. is it your arm?"

the younger bit back a pained noise, squeezing his eyes shut and nodding quickly.

"i have to look at it, 'dery. can i-?"

tears shined against hendery's cheeks and he nodded again, letting ten shift the bomber jacket over his shoulders and roll up the sleeve of his t-shirt, all while whimpering in pain.

ten couldn't see much in the dark, just blood-soaked cloth, so he risked fishing his phone from his pocket and shining the flashlight over the wound.

he breathed out a slight sigh of relief.

"good news and bad news, 'dery," he announced quietly, and hendery glanced at him with tear-filled eyes.

"what- what is it?"

"you're gonna have a badass scar-" hendery let out a breathless laugh, "-it's just a graze, but it's a little deep. we'll need yangyang to come and pick you up."

hendery nodded, taking a shuddering breath, "o-okay, _ge_."

ten discarded hendery's jacket, the flimsy material not optimal for staunching the flow of blood, and shouldered off his own blazer, wrapping it around hendery's bicep and trying to cinch it tight with the sleeves.

he then guided hendery's other hand to the wound, telling him to "keep pressure here" before sliding his gun from his waistband, holding it at the ready in one hand while he called yangyang with his phone in the other.

"c'mon, _c'mon_, pick up," ten muttered under his breath, glancing around at the darkness between the trees surrounding them, keeping a watchful eye out for any remaining gunmen, "pick up, pick-"

"ten! are you okay? we heard gunshots, we're already on the track, headed your way, and-"

"yangyang," ten replied, breathless, "hendery was hit. just a graze, but i need you to come pick him up."

"will do, but what-"

"i'll explain later," ten reassured, "but for now, i just need you to be careful. the gunmen could still be in the area."

"you got it."

"we'll be by the car."

ten hung up and shoved the phone back in his pocket, turning to hendery.

"alright, 'dery, you're going to have to walk again, okay?"

helping the younger to his feet, ten slung his right arm over his shoulders, securing it by holding hendery's right hand in his left, keeping his gun steady in his right.

"'m okay, ten-_ge_, i didn't get shot in the leg," hendery protested, still stumbling as they walked.

"yeah, but you are suffering blood loss, and i'm not going to let you walk on your own," ten chastised, "now be _quiet_."

hendery fell silent after that, save for a few sharp inhales of pain whenever he shifted his arm.

soon they reached the crashed car, sitting hunched behind the vehicle for cover while they waited for yangyang.

goosebumps prickled up ten's now-bare arms, but he paid no mind to it. getting hendery to a safe place was much more important than being a little chilly.

after a few quiet minutes, a pair of headlights emerged from down the road, coming closer and closer.

"yangyang-!" hendery called out hopefully, but ten quickly clapped a hand over the younger's mouth, pulling him close.

"wait-" he whispered, "it might not be them."

hidden by the body of the car, ten waited until he heard the car come to a halt. doors opened and closed. footsteps sounded against the pavement.

"ten-_ge?_ " a half-whisper called out, "hendery?" 

relief flooded ten, and he stepped out of their hiding spot, helping hendery to his feet.

"we're over here, yangyang!"

in the dark, ten could just make out yangyang's figure rushing forward to help hendery into the car.

once hendery was buckled in, half-unconscious due to the blood-loss, ten sent yangyang back into the driver's seat.

"take him to the hospital right away, okay?"

yangyang nodded, "yeah, but what about you?"

ten looked around at their surroundings, now re-illuminated by the full moonlight.

"i'm going to look around, see if i can find the gunmen. just send yukhei and sicheng to come pick me up, if they can."

yangyang furrowed his brow, "_ge_, i don't know if that's-"

a sudden rustling in the trees behind ten had him whirling around, aiming his gun at the underbrush.

ten narrowed his eyes, finger pausing on the trigger as he listened intently. 

_there._

the unmistakable click. 

without hesitancy, ten fired, and someone cried out, scrambling backwards and running away through the trees.

ten tore after him, ignoring yangyang's shouts to come back, focused on one thing, and that was _catching the motherfucker that shot hendery_.

the woods were dark and overgrown, branches lashing at ten's arms as he followed the man through the trees.

his breath came out in quick bursts, holding his gun steady but not taking aim.

there was no telling what could ricochet off of the trees.

after a minute, they emerged into a clearing, the man mere yards in front of ten.

no, it wasn't a clearing.

it was an abandoned and overgrown gas station.

the building sat ahead of them, a few old pumps out front, vines growing over the both of them.

it provided too much cover- ten would have to take the shot now.

he paused, raising the gun level with the man in front of him and firing.

the man cried out, stumbling as soon as the bullet hit his arm, whirling to level his own pistol at ten.

but ten was already on him in an instant, tackling him to the ground, knocking the gun from his hand.

"you _motherfucker_," ten seethed, taking the seized gun and throwing it far away. he attempted to slam the hilt of his gun into the man's skull, but he wasn't inept at fighting, blocking the movement by grabbing ten's wrist and twisting it violently so that he dropped his own weapon.

ten cried out at that, and the man took advantage of his momentary pain to push him back and onto the ground, scrambling for ten's gun.

ten kicked his legs out wildly, and the gun went clattering away across the concrete.

that, however, didn't stop the man from bringing his hands up to ten's throat, palms flat against his windpipe.

ten thrashed around under the man's grip, fingers digging into the man's wrists, vision too blurry to even see his face clearly.

in a last effort to loosen his grip, ten reached up and dug his thumb into the bullet-wound in the man's arm.

the man let out a yell, letting go with one hand and backhanding ten across the face.

ten raked his nails along the man's remaining wrist, scratching hard enough to draw blood, and the man finally backed off, releasing ten's neck as he stumbled backwards.

it only occurred to ten all too late that the man was going for one of their guns; he was too busy choking, trying to recover his breathing with a hand gingerly set against his throat.

in his hazy vision, ten saw the man return from his peripheral holding a gun. 

_i'm going to die_, ten thought deliriously,_ i'm going to die alone at this godforsaken gas station_. 

would anyone ever find his body?

or would he rot away until he was nothing but bones?

it was morbid, but when ten was on the ground, incapacitated with no way to sweet-talk (or shit-talk) his way out, with a gun pointed at his head, it was a little hard to think any other way.

the man drew closer, crouching next to ten's body and pressing the barrel against his forehead with a sickening grin.

"any last words?" he hissed out.

"_fuck you_," ten spat back, hands weakly coming up to the man's wrist.

the man chuckled.

_bang!_

ten flinched, hard, eyes squinting shut and hands curled into fists.

something warm and wet spattered across his face.

the sound of something heavy fell to ten's right; a gun clattered to the pavement.

slowly, _slowly_, ten blinked his eyes open.

the night sky was spread out above his head.

next to him the man lay, blood pooling on the concrete around him, dripping from a new hole in the side of his head.

ten sat up as quickly as he could, wheezing violently as he stumbled away from the body.

_who fired that shot?_

he ran to the side of the abandoned gas station building, flattening his back against it, trying to muffle his coughs.

judging from the angle the bullet had struck the man, if he stayed on this side of the building he should be out of the line of fire. that was, if the gunman had stayed in the same spot.

the blood still splattered across his face was nauseating.

it reminded him of... kun. and that night.

but kun couldn't be here.

he was back in shanghai.

ten cleared his thoughts, still rubbing his throat uncomfortably.

he shifted sideways along the wall, hoping to get to the corner and peak around, maybe see who else was here with him.

with any luck, whoever had fired the shot was more on ten's side than anything else.

ten reached the corner, head tilted to the side as edged forward, trying to peer around the corner.

the moon cast long shadows against the cracks in the pavement below; ten's gaze lowered there, catching on something.

the shadow of someone standing right around the corner.

ten moved first, hoping to get the upper hand, darting around the side of the building with his fists raised.

however, he was still weakened by the previous fight, and whoever was around the corner seemed prepared.

in the darkness, ten's wrists were seized quickly, body pushed back against the wall with a hand covering his mouth to muffle his outcry.

ten struggled in the hold, trying his jerk his wrists away, eyes wide in fear until a familiar face came into view.

"_shh_," johnny shushed him, hand still pressed over ten's mouth, "ten, it's me."

ten went still, staring into johnny's dark eyes, questioning.

_what the fuck was he doing here?_

johnny released ten's wrists quickly, but kept the hand over his lips.

"stay quiet," he warned lowly, "you're not safe here."

he then pointed slightly up with his free hand. _listen_.

ten tuned his ears to the sounds around them, the cicadas, the slight breeze through the surrounding forest-

the sound of two sets of footsteps clicking across the broken pavement.

ten's eyes widened, looking to johnny, panicked.

"_it's okay_," johnny mouthed, and ten exhaled shakily through his nose.

the footsteps drew closer and closer, conversation accompanying them.

"... heard a gunshot too, right taeyong? must've come from here."

"yeah, but where'd- what the fuck is that?"

the footsteps quickened their pace, thankfully further away from where ten and johnny were hiding.

there was a moment of silence, and then- "no pulse. definitely dead. you recognize him, jaehyun?"

_taeyong and jaehyun were only meters away_.

"he looks a little familiar," jaehyun replied, "you think he was one of the shooters?"

"must've been. come on, let's cut back through the trees to the track," taeyong spoke, "maybe we'll find something else. go ahead and text johnny."

the following seconds felt painstakingly long, as ten listened to taeyong and jaehyun going back through the forest, the sounds of their footsteps drawing further away until there was nothing.

"okay," johnny whispered, breath close enough to feel on ten's cheek, "i think they're gone. you good?"

there was a pause until ten nodded, and johnny's hand dropped away.

for a moment, they just looked at each other.

johnny surveyed the remainders of ten's bruising from the previous week (thanks to taeyong and jaehyun), gaze sliding down to ten's arm.

the cut was mostly healed now, no need for a bandage, but johnny delicately brought ten's arm up with two hands, running his thumb along the cut with the barest of touches.

then he looked up.

ten didn't avoid his eyes, holding steadfast.

johnny's expression read: _are you okay?_

ten gave a non-committal shrug, hugging his arm back to his chest.

"did you-" ten started, but his voice was still hoarse. he cleared his throat and tried again, "was that you? that shot him?" he jerked his head in the direction of the man's body.

"i- yeah. he was just-" johnny stumbled over his words, "he was gonna kill you."

ten felt the ghost of the man's hands on his neck, strangling the life out of him slowly.

he would've died. he would have been _dead_, if johnny hadn't been there.

that realization suddenly hit him like a sucker-punch.

ten's legs went weak under him, collapsing against the wall.

_he would've been dead._

johnny was there immediately, catching ten in his arms, supporting him until he was seated on the ground, voice laced with concern.

"ten? ten, are you okay? what's wrong?"

_he could be dead right now_.

ten couldn't make the words come out.

he simply let himself lean into johnny's hold, arms secure around him, shivering in the chilly night air.

johnny didn't speak, letting the two of them sit in silence for a few minutes while ten struggled to regain his normal breath back.

johnny ran a comforting hand through ten's hair, the movement soft and calming against the roughness of the ground underneath him.

it wasn't until ten took a deep, shuddering breath, that johnny finally spoke.

"you alright?" johnny asked quietly, helping ten clamber back to his feet.

"'m fine," ten mumbled, but he didn't shake off johnny's hand that still held his own, their fingers intertwined loosely.

they stood there for another moment, under the moonlight.

ten couldn't help but notice that johnny looked softer under this light, all his sharp corners and edges somehow smoothed out by the light in the night sky.

he would be lying if he said he didn't want to kiss johnny now, aching for a taste of that momentary quiet he'd seen before.

but johnny still looked hesitant, as if he wasn't sure whether or not ten was going to storm away like the last time, leaving him with a twinge in his heart.

ten couldn't blame him.

he _had_ been more than harsh.

"we should-" johnny suddenly cut through the quiet, "we should go. there might be other gunmen out there. i can take us somewhere safe."

ten nodded in agreement, mind going back to the moment the shots first rang out, the crash, hendery.

"as long as i can make a call on the way."

the second ten sat in the passenger's seat, he tapped yangyang's contact and hit call, bringing his phone up to his ear.

yangyang picked up at the second ring.

"ten-_ge!_ are you alright?"

"i'm okay," ten answered quickly, "how is hendery? are you guys at the hospital yet?"

yangyang made a _mm-mh_ sound, voice quiet, "they just now took him back. he lost some blood, but he'll be alright. he's strong, he'll push through."

ten let out a sigh of relief, and johnny looked over at him, worried.

"that's good," ten admitted, "and you? the others? are you all safe?"

"yeah, we're alright. yukhei-_ge_ is meeting us at the hospital, but sicheng-_ge_ and dejun are heading home to regroup and call kun-_ge_."

ten felt himself freeze at the mention of kun's name.

what would kun say, if he saw ten right now? riding in the passenger's seat of johnny's bmw after racing against him, going wherever johnny decided to drive him, careless?

he nearly flinched just _thinking_ about the beating kun would give him.

"_ge?_ ten-_ge?_ " yangyang's voice brought him back to reality.

"sorry, yang. i'm just- zoning out, i guess. what did you say?"

on the other line, yangyang scoffed.

"_ge_, i asked where you were. are you coming soon?"

ten glanced over at johnny, who was focused on the road ahead of them.

he wasn't sure where johnny was driving them, but ten felt the intense need to stay there with him. safe and protected.

"i..." ten wasn't sure how to word it, "i won't be... coming home tonight, yangyang."

"but ten-_ge_-"

"-don't worry, okay?" ten cut across the younger quickly, "i'm safe. i'm okay. i just won't be coming back tonight, that's all."

he looked at johnny again, who spared a glance over. johnny's lips twitched into a soft smile as he turned back to the road.

"... okay," yangyang mumbled after a few seconds of silence.

"okay?" ten asked, "sure you'll be fine without me?"

yangyang scoffed again, "yeah, _ge_, we'll be okay. stay safe."

"you too."

yangyang hung up first, and the _call ended_ screen flashed when ten set his phone back in his lap.

"everything okay?" johnny asked, slowing as they came up to a desolate red light.

ten nodded quickly, slipping his phone back into his pocket, "yeah, just checking with some people."

johnny hummed in thought, turning left once the light turned green.

"and... um, what about... the- the boy you were with? what's his name? hen-"

"-hendery?" ten asked.

"yeah, is he okay? i heard you say something about a hospital..."

ten gave johnny a strange smile, confused on why johnny was even asking about hendery, but the fact he was asking at all filled ten with warmth.

"he's going to be alright. he got shot in the arm, but it was just a graze."

johnny looked troubled, despite the reassurance.

ten watched the street race by beneath them, becoming darker as the streetlights began disappear in the rear-view mirror behind them.

the city lights became nothing by sparkles on the horizon behind them.

it occurred to him that they were driving further into the mountains, the road turning long and winding.

"johnny," ten switched the topic quickly, "where are we going?"

johnny turned his head again, fixing ten with a warm smile.

"my place, if that's okay."

ten raised an eyebrow in suspicion. 

"but you're driving away from the city. your apartment is-"

"-my apartment is a cover. i don't usually stay there on a day-to-day basis."

realization dawned on ten, the pieces fitting together.

the dust on the shelves, the lack of decor, the empty feeling of the whole place that first night he'd stayed there.

"you_ sneaky bastard,_" ten slapped at johnny's shoulder, incredulous, "that's not even your real home? how many places do you _own?_ "

johnny's smile brightened.

"just the two, for now."

ten narrowed his eyes, smug.

"and where, may i ask, is the second one?"

johnny turned down a road surrounded by trees, the headlights of the car the only thing illuminating the road in front of them.

"it's just around this corner, actually. i promise you'll love it."

ten crossed his arms, sitting back in his seat.

"well i'll wait, then," he commented, corner of his lip raised in a smirk, "this better be good."

ten didn't think anything could surprise him anymore.

he had seen a lot.

but when johnny pulled into the driveway of what must have been a mansion taken straight from the hills outside los angeles, ten found himself speechless.

even after he had stepped out of the car, gaping at the two stories of sleek, modern, white-stone and glass for a few minutes, he still couldn't find the words to respond to johnny's bashful grin.

finally, after admiring the wood accents of the garage doors and patio furniture, ten whirled around to face johnny.

"you're telling me that i could've been _here_ instead of some high rise-"

"come on ten," johnny smiled, gesturing towards the front door, "do you want a tour?"

ten rolled his eyes, but bowed his head slightly in answer.

johnny practically skipped up the front step, unlocking the front door with the tap of something on his phone and pushing it open to reveal the entryway.

ten paused at the doorstep, looking around.

it occurred to him yet again that he was _here_, at johnny seo's personal home, most likely going to spend the night, but not on behalf of kun.

ten was here because he wanted to be here. with johnny.

not to try and squeeze any information he could get out of him by persuading him with his body.

not to get closer for any ulterior motives.

just to be close, to be safe, with him.

_kun will definitely kill me_, ten thought, lingering on the other side of the doorstep.

inside, johnny had just taken off his shoes, looking back when he realized that ten hadn't followed him.

"ten?" he called, "you coming in?"

ten took in a shaky breath, lips parting.

johnny's brow knitted together.

_kun will kill me_, ten repeated silently, taking a step over the threshold, _but only if he finds out_.

"yeah," he answered johnny, shutting the front door behind him, "on to the tour?"

the house tour made it as far as the kitchen.

ten ran his hands appreciatively over the cool, quartz surfaces of the kitchen island, about to turn to johnny and say something, when he saw the fully-stocked wine fridge.

he must have been looking at it long enough to be caught, because johnny chuckled and asked, "red or white?" while opening an overhead cabinet to grab two wine glasses.

"red, please," ten answered with a smile, leaning against the counter behind him. "what's the occasion?"

johnny picked out a bottle pinot noir and set it on the counter next to the glasses.

"isn't your company occasion enough?" he asked, and ten felt his cheeks go pink, ducking his head. johnny grinned, "you're cute when you're flustered."

ten went even redder at that, feeling so completely out of his element when johnny was the one flirting with him, and not the other way around. he'd have to change that at some point in the night, but for now, he was content in letting johnny's compliments wash over him and boost his ego.

"you're very sweet," ten said, fighting back a smile as he watched johnny peel the foil away from the top of the bottle and twist the corkscrew in.

johnny had discarded his suit jacket in the entryway and rolled his sleeves up, which brought even more of blush to ten's face.

he could see the way johnny's muscles flexed as he unscrewed the cork from the wine, making him just a little bit weak in the knees.

ten's eyes caught on the healing cut across johnny's forearm, and his heart twinged.

_we're matching_, he thought guiltily, a hand coming up to cover the cut on his own arm.

thankfully, johnny had gotten the wine open quickly, and he could think of something else, anything else but the fact that the cut on johnny's arm was caused by him.

"do you want to see the pool?" johnny asked, holding a wine glass out to ten.

ten took the glass between delicate fingers, "lead the way."

johnny swept the curtains to the back door aside, (which ten had previously thought was a window - it stretched from the floor to the ceiling) and pushed the glass door open, revealing the back patio.

ten felt as if he had stepped into an episode of hgtv, eyes roaming around the smooth concrete and sleek glass railing.

the pool took up a majority of the patio, it's crystalline waters brightly illuminated from below by underwater lights.

"it's... wow." ten was breathless. he stepped up to the railing, hands resting on it.

he could easily see the city from here, the bright lights outshining the stars even from miles away.

despite that, it was quiet.

cicadas whirred in the surrounding trees, but not overwhelmingly so. 

a slight breeze brushed past, clouds drifting across the moon, and ten shivered, goosebumps rising on his bare arms once more.

johnny stepped behind him, wrapping his arms around ten.

"do you like it?" he asked quietly, lips close but not quite touching the shell of ten's ear.

ten leaned back into johnny's warmth, head resting on his shoulder.

"it's beautiful, johnny."

"i'm glad i could show it to you."

although he was warmer now in johnny's arms, ten still shivered, johnny's low voice zipping like electricity down his spine.

"i want to thank you," ten spoke softly, "for... you know. back there."

johnny was quiet for a moment, and ten turned around in his arms, setting his wine glass aside.

"i would've-" _died_. ten still couldn't say it out loud, "anyways. thank you."

johnny pursed his lips, but before he could say anything, ten was on his tip-toes, wrapping his arms around johnny's neck and pulling him into a kiss.

they fit together easily, lips soft and warm against each other.

but ten wasn't interested in keeping it that way, tilting his head to the side and swiping his tongue at johnny's bottom lip, urging him to part his lips.

johnny gave in quickly, letting ten taste him, taste the wine on his tongue, fingers gripping him by the waist.

but it still wasn't enough.

ten drew back slightly, hands moving to loosen the tie knotted at johnny's throat, kissing down his jaw and neck with needy lips.

"thank you," he whispered hotly against the column of johnny's throat, "_thank you._"

"ten-" johnny gasped into the night air, head tilted back as ten began to work at the top buttons of his shirt, working them until it was open enough to start kissing down his chest.

"_thank you_," ten said again, whispering it against johnny's chest as if johnny hadn't heard it the first time.

"_ten_-" johnny spoke his name again, and suddenly he was pulling away slightly, a hand coming up to ten's to stop him from loosening any more buttons.

ten whined at the retraction, unable to stop the pout that found its way to his lips.

johnny stared at ten for a moment, chest heaving up and down. he looked wrecked already, tie loose and lips shiny.

"you- you don't have to- i mean-" johnny started, stuttering, "you don't have to thank me like this, if you don't-"

"-i _want_ to," ten's voice came out just as desperate and out of breath, "johnny, please. i _need_ you."

he couldn't explain in words just how much he needed johnny right now.

and it wasn't just to thank johnny for saving his life, but something more than that.

he had finally realized johnny's feelings. realized his _own_ feelings.

he wanted to act on them now, to show johnny that y_es, he did feel the same_ and _yes, he did want to stay_.

"_please_," ten whispered again, almost a whimper.

johnny's eyelids fluttered, and his hands raised to hold ten's face in his palms, thumb brushing across ten's bottom lip.

"_okay_," he mumbled back, pecking ten's lips lightly. ten whined and chased after the kiss, but johnny stopped him with his index finger, "let's go inside."

ten had pressed johnny up against the kitchen counter and a few other walls before they finally made it to the bedroom.

by the time ten had sat johnny down at the edge of the bed and clambered onto his lap, he had managed to toss both of their shirts somewhere across the room, losing his pants along the way too.

"fuck, ten-" johnny groaned against ten's lips as he ground his hips down, "you're so-_god_." 

"please," ten begged, breath hot and heavy. he wasn't even sure what he was asking for but he knew that johnny would give it to him, whatever it was.

the answer to ten's question came in the form of johnny wrapping his arm's around ten's waist and flipping them, pressing ten into the duvet with agile force.

johnny stood for a moment to slip out of his pants, quickly tossing them away and coming back to the bed where ten waited.

they moved together so easily, ten's legs automatically falling apart so that johnny could slot his hips between them, the pressure not too heavy but just enough to make the knot in ten's gut tighten just a little bit more.

johnny mouthed along the divots of ten's collarbones, teeth and lips leaving red marks while ten whined under him, grasping the duvet in his fists.

"johnny, _hngh_-" ten cried out when johnny kissed further down his body, taking a pert nipple in his mouth while his hand palmed at ten through his briefs.

"what is it, baby?" johnny asked, his voice carrying a teasing lilt to it as he let his fingers dip below the waistband of ten's underwear, "what do you need?"

ten couldn't speak for a moment, as if johnny's hands on him had caused any vocabulary he knew to fly out the window, merely letting out a high-pitched whine.

johnny smirked, retracting his hands momentarily to pull ten's briefs down, down, down his legs until ten was completely naked under johnny's gaze.

without warning, johnny then ducked his head, taking ten in his mouth in one fell swoop.

"_fuck_," ten swore, but it came out as an unabashed moan instead of anything intelligible. 

_god_, how much he had missed this.

johnny took care of him so well, in a way ten couldn't recall anybody else ever doing.

he would definitely have to return the favor sometime, if johnny would let him.

in the meantime, ten simply enjoyed the feeling of johnny's mouth on him, moaning without worry for his volume, letting out every little sound johnny elicited from him.

"johnny, fuck, _fuck_ you're so good, so good to me-"

johnny hummed around him, sending ten's hips bucking up into the feeling, and johnny pulled off a little so he wouldn't gag.

"_sorry_-" ten quickly apologized, breathless, but johnny shook his head.

"'s okay," he looked up at ten through heavily-lidded eyes, curling a loose hand around ten, pumping him slowly as he spoke, "i don't mind it. i just want to make you feel good."

ten's lashes fluttered at the feeling of johnny's index finger brushing over the tip, lips following in suit.

"you're gonna be the death of me," he groaned out, eyes squeezed shut as johnny kissed steadily down the length of his dick, lips soft and wet.

"that'd be a shame," johnny commented offhandedly, taking ten's thigh in one hand and pushing it back slightly, throwing his leg over his shoulder.

ten opened his eyes in curiosity, only to see johnny duck his head even lower before he felt johnny's tongue tracing around his entrance, light but instantaneous in the way ten arched his back at the feeling, letting go of one of the bedspread to grasp at the pillows below his head.

he tried effortlessly to angle his hips closer, and johnny indulged him, pulling him closer by the thighs, letting his other leg rest over his shoulder.

the noises that toppled from ten's lips filled the space, gasps for air interlaced with cut-off whimpers and moans; ten couldn't get enough of johnny's tongue.

"johnny,_ johnny,_" ten panted over and over again, back arching, toes curling- johnny was drawing him closer and closer to that dangerous edge, the knot in his stomach tightening.

johnny's hand left his thigh, tracing up the length of his chest before resting at the hollow of ten's neck, thumb pressed against his pulse point.

ten grabbed that hand desperately, lacing their fingers together and holding tight.

he felt as if he needed to hold something, or he'd float away, lost in the feeling of johnny's mouth on him.

he was close.

"johnny, i- _hngh- fuck_-" he couldn't manage the words out loud, but johnny seemed to understand, his free hand moving to wrap around ten's length, pumping him at a quick pace as he ate him out fervently.

ten's chest heaved, breath turning into pants as his other hand drifted down to johnny's hair, running his fingers through the soft brown locks and gripping it tight, spurring johnny on.

"please, _please_, johnny i- i'm-"

ten's vision whited out as his orgasm rocked through him, lips parted in a silent cry as he held desperately onto johnny, spilling over himself as he twitched under johnny's hands.

it took a moment for ten to regain his breath, chest rising and falling in stuttering movements. 

johnny hadn't pulled away quite yet, lazily tracing his tongue up ten's length until he reached the top, licking up the mess ten had made.

quiet whines fell from ten's lips, his hips jerking unconsciously at the feeling of overstimulation.

"_johnny_..." he whimpered, nails digging into johnny's hand.

johnny merely hummed in response, pressing open-mouthed kissed up ten's stomach, dutifully continuing to clean him up until he was trembling from head to toe.

the kisses dwindled into light pecks up ten's neck and jaw until johnny finally reached ten's lips, kissing him once, lightly before pulling back.

"you taste sweet," johnny sighed through a smile, and ten's cheeks warmed, tilting his face away from johnny so he wouldn't have to look him in the eye.

"how romantic," he rolled his eyes, but there was no bite to his words.

he was too tired to muster up any more sarcasm than that.

his eyelids were already starting to get too heavy to keep open.

johnny reached up and brushed ten's hair away from his forehead, falling onto his side to lay next to him.

"you tired?"

ten gave a slight nod of his head that signaled a 'yes', tilting his head again too look back at johnny, who gazed back with a soft expression.

"want to sleep?" johnny asked, and ten furrowed his brow.

"but you haven't-"

"that's okay."

ten pouted, "i thought i was supposed to be thanking you."

"don't worry about it, ten," johnny smiled, "let's just go to sleep, yeah?"

ten opened his mouth to object, but johnny leaned forward, kissing the words off of his lips until ten relaxed into the pillows.

when johnny pulled away, ten couldn't even open his eyes again.

"see? you're tired." johnny whispered, giving a breathy laugh before ten felt his weight shift off of the bed.

"hm?" ten let out a questioning noise that turned into a stifled yawn, cracking one eye open to see what he was doing.

johnny padded across the room toward the built-in closet, opening one of the drawers and pulling something out.

"here," johnny tossed a bundle of cloth towards ten, who caught it with surprising speed, "figured you would be more comfortable sleeping in that than naked."

ten didn't even pause before pulling on the pair of boxers, tugging them up to the skinniest part of his waist and falling back into the bed limply.

"thanks," he murmured, muffling another yawn behind the back of his hand and sliding under the sheets.

it was quiet when johnny joined him under the covers, settling in on the other side of the bed.

ten instinctively rolled on his side to face him.

"johnny?" he whispered.

"hmm?" johnny hummed back, turning his head.

ten worried at his bottom lip.

_thank you. thank you for saving my life._

"i..." 

johnny raised an eyebrow.

_thank you for saving me_.

ten exhaled softly.

"hold me?" he asked, voice quiet.

johnny wordlessly reached out his arm, pulling ten closer into his chest, curling his arm around ten's waist.

ten sighed in content, curling into johnny's body.

soft lips brushed against ten's forehead, a whisper between them.

"goodnight, ten," johnny spoke, and ten mumbled the same back, sinking into the warmth of johnny's hold.

ten awoke to the feeling of johnny sitting up beside him, the absence of warmth making his lips curl into a pout.

when ten let out a disgruntled sound at the movement, johnny stopped, glancing back at him.

"what... what time is it?" ten asked through a yawn, stretching out.

warm sunlight filtered through the windows, casting a glow over johnny's tan skin, turning it to gold under the sunrise.

ten wanted to fall back into it.

"about nine-ish," johnny answered, checking his phone on the nightstand.

ten pouted again, and sat up to wrap his arms around johnny's waist, pulling him back into the bed.

"we have time," he mumbled, lips brushing against johnny's bare shoulder, "lay back down."

johnny furrowed his brow, looking confused.

"i... i would have thought that... you..." he gestured towards the door with a hand.

ten suddenly remembered that his track record for staying the morning after was not all that great, so it only made sense for johnny to be worried he'd leave again.

_oh johnny_, he sighed softly.

"i want to stay," ten said, eyes soft and sincere as he spoke, "i'm not going to leave, okay? not for a while, at least."

johnny's shoulders collapsed in a way that told ten he'd been thinking about that for far too long.

"you'll stay?" johnny asked, his hands coming down to rest over ten's on his waist.

ten nodded, leaning forward to press his lips softly to johnny's.

"for now, yes."

johnny seemed to relax at that, letting ten pull him back down onto the bed, laying together.

ten tucked his head into the juncture between johnny's shoulder and neck, pressing lazy kisses against his skin.

together, they breathed quietly, chests rising and falling almost in unison.

ten couldn't say just how long they laid there, but he knew he was falling in and out of sleep, lashes fluttering open every now and then but not quite completely asleep.

the warmth of being next to johnny, under the rays of the rising sun, was unparalleled in the way ten felt like he could never be anywhere else and he would be okay.

he... he still wasn't sure if he would be able to give johnny what he wanted.

not with johnny being _johnny seo_ and ten being the right-hand man of _qian kun_, but damn it all if ten didn't want to try.

so ten would take what he could get, even if that meant just savoring what they had now, basking in the dayglow of the morning together.

he could help but wonder, again, if they had met under different circumstances, if a relationship might be possible.

or maybe, if their circumstance was exactly the way it was supposed to be.

love and attraction worked in ways unbeknownst to most of humanity; ten could easily vouch for that.

but he found it interesting that he had met johnny in the way he did, at the time he did.

at the point in ten's life when he couldn't stop thinking about getting out of this life, of having a normal life with a normal job and family and-

and he had met someone who could very plausibly do that for him.

johnny had a lot of power.

people listened to him.

kun may be a big name in their world, but that did mean ten could underestimate what johnny was capable of.

ten wondered... if he pieced it together correctly...

maybe they really had met at the right time.

he shouldn't bring it up quite yet, but...

"johnny?" he mumbled, his voice breaking the quiet that had settled over them.

"hm?"

"have you ever heard of _yīnyuán hóngxiàn? _"

johnny shifted onto his side to look at ten, shaking his head slightly.

"what is it?"

"the legend of the red thread of fate," ten explained softly, "soulmate stuff. that people are meant to meet each other at a certain time in their lives, that they were destined."

johnny hummed in thought, considering.

"do you believe in soulmates?"

ten shrugged. he gazed delicately at johnny, unsure of what words to use.

"i don't know," he answered truthfully, "maybe. do you?"

johnny chuckled lightly, shrugging; their faces were so close ten could feel the puff of air against his lips.

"are you saying we're soulmates, ten?"

ten sighed into a smile, rolling his eyes.

"not exactly," he raised a hand to cup johnny's cheek in his palm, "but i think that maybe we were meant to meet at this point in time."

johnny tilted his head to press his lips into ten's palm, a quick peck, before leaning forward and kissing ten gingerly.

"i think..." johnny whispered against ten's lips, "that maybe you're right."

ten exhaled slowly, feeling as though he could kiss johnny's soft lips forever, fingers tucking a strand of hair behind johnny's ear and leaning closer.

there was nothing erratic about this kiss, nothing craved except affection and care. it was a kiss to fall into, to drown in.

ten would be more than willing.

after an eternity of kissing lazily, warmed by the sunlight, johnny hummed, tilting his head up to brush his lips against ten's forehead.

"do you want breakfast?"

ten smiled.

"i'd like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY johnten get that good cuddling they DESERVE. is it realistic how quickly ten realized his feelings? maybe not, but i can write whatever i want and if i want johnten to finally cuddle in this godforsaken au then wHO CAN STOP ME
> 
> (( fr tho i am sorry if the characterization in this chapter is a little rushed :( i didn't plan this plot very well lmao ))
> 
> but thank y'all for reading and i hope you enjoyed! <3
> 
> feel free to come yell at me on my twitter, @daegushoya !!


	5. part V: the calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> today is a day for truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally supposed to be the last chapter. then i hit 24k words and realized that i needed to split it into two.
> 
> so y'all get two more chapters instead of just one!!
> 
> this is to make up for the fact that i basically dropped off the grid in march (i really don't know what it was, i could NOT force myself to write i'm so so sorry y'all this was never meant to take this long), although this chapter will be a little shorter, the final chapter will be pretty long still!
> 
> that being said, i hope you enjoy!!!!

**somewhere outside seoul, south korea**

**9:57 am**

ten couldn't think of the last time someone else had truly cooked a meal for him.

occasionally yukhei or sicheng would be given 'dinner-duty' during a long-term mission if ten was tired of making dinner or getting takeout, but that was because they were more-or-less forced to.

but _this_. this was new.

ten sat on the counter of the kitchen island, legs swinging back and forth in the open air as he watched johnny mix up something in a frying pan at the stove.

some quiet, soothing indie song played from a speaker on the counter next to him; johnny hummed along to the tune.

while johnny's back was turned, ten took the moment to admire him.

he was only dressed in a white tee and a pair of adidas joggers, but with his hair all messy and down, ten couldn't help but smile at the mere sight of him.

johnny was just so-

ten let out a breathy sigh. he was half fighting the urge to call johnny over and kiss him breathless.

but he didn't want the food to burn, and he was hungry.

so he would wait. 

"what are you making?" ten asked, inhaling softly, "smells good."

johnny turned to face ten, giving him a slight side-smile.

"it's a kimchi fried egg skillet," he gave the pan a little shake, "i found the recipe online a little while ago, figured i would try it again."

"mm, i can't wait."

johnny turned back to the stove, sprinkling some sort of spice over the pan, adding another aroma to the kitchen air.

ten swayed to the beat of the music, lazy and content.

his phone buzzed in the pocket of the basketball shorts johnny had given him when they got out of bed, startling him slightly.

sliding the phone from the shorts, ten warily glanced at the screen.

a text from kun.

_what happened at the race last night? _

ten froze, fingers tightening around his phone.

it was very telling of the way ten's heart began to race, a sort of unidentified panic rising up in his chest, closing around his throat.

another text came in right after.

_i've been told hendery is hospitalized. are you with him?_

ten swore quietly under his breath. what was he supposed to say? 

biting his lip in thought, ten furrowed his brow and began to type out a half-truth: _we were on the track when someone started shooting. hendery got grazed, so i called yangyang to pick him up. once dery was safe i ran after one of the gunmen and killed him. after that, i headed home_.

he hit 'send' and dropped his phone in his lap, unwilling to even look at the three dots that popped up when kun started typing.

would he buy it?

hopefully nobody else had given a different account of what happened after the race. he hadn't told anybody where he'd gone, but he sure as hell didn't go home, and the others knew that.

ten could only wish that his version of what happened the night before was plausible enough.

the buzz of kun's response came far too quickly.

ten hesitatingly turned the screen upwards to read the notification.

_why didn't you go to the hospital with them?_

at that, ten made a face. what kind of question was that? he'd gone after the gunmen, that should've been simple enough answer all in itself.

but naturally kun was just looking for another reason to bust his ass for doing nothing, _again_.

"everything okay?" 

ten jolted at the feeling of johnny's hand brushing slightly over his leg, getting his attention.

johnny raised his eyebrows slightly, and ten rushed to nod in reassurance.

"i'm okay, it's just-" ten waved his phone slightly, "- kun giving me a hassle. same as usual."

"ah," johnny bowed his head in understanding, hand still resting on ten's leg, playing with the fabric of ten's shorts, "he does that a lot?"

ten scoffed with a smile, "when does he not? kun's like nagging dad, twenty-four-seven. nothing i ever do is good enough for him."

although ten was smiling, johnny continued to give him the same concerned look. ten reached down and laced their fingers loosely.

"you guys don't... have a good relationship with each other, huh?"

ten rolled his eyes.

"i thought that was obvious. he's always on my ass about something. whenever i follow his orders he always finds a way to pick it apart and find the flaws. and when i don't do what he says..."

ten's voice trailed off, getting suddenly quiet. 

johnny ran his thumb back and forth over ten's hand, giving him a little squeeze, prompting him to speak.

"most of my scars are from him," ten finished, the thought fresh in his mind that he was disobeying kun right this very moment.

johnny's gaze dropped, and ten knew he was recounting every scar he had seen on ten's body, wondering which ones were inflicted by the man he saw as a nemesis.

"hey-" ten got his attention back quickly, before johnny could dwell on that fact for too long, "don't worry about it, okay? it's all in the past anyways, it doesn't matter anymore. food's ready, right? let's just eat some breakfast, hmm?"

johnny paused before he nodded, which ten took to mean that he'd let the subject go for now, but he wasn't going to forget it anytime soon.

"good," ten grinned, "'cause i'm starving."

ten was almost embarrassed by how quickly he finished his food.

part of it could also have been that he hadn't eaten anything since lunch the previous day, but johnny was also an incredibly good cook.

"where did you learn to cook like that?" ten asked as soon as his plate was clear.

johnny, sitting at the head of the dining table, let out a soft laugh.

"cook like what?"

ten raised his eyebrows and gestured to his now-empty plate. 

"what do you mean, '_cook like what? _' that's probably like, the best food i've had in _years_."

johnny gave ten a disbelieving look and shrugged.

"i don't know. i guess it comes naturally."

ten scoffed, sitting back in his chair, gaze resting on johnny.

he couldn't help but think johnny looked best like this, hair loose and un-styled, hanging around his ears.

that, paired with a plain t-shirt and the laid-back demeanor that only came with the comfort of being in your own home, johnny looked absolutely ethereal under the late-morning sun.

ten rested his elbows against the table, lazily watching johnny until the latter felt eyes on him.

johnny paused, food half-raised to his mouth.

"what are you looking at?"

ten shrugged, tilting his head slightly.

"hmm," he hummed, "nothing much."

clearly unconvinced, johnny raised an eyebrow.

"you," ten admitted, reveling in the way the corners of johnny's lips curved up.

"me?" johnny asked, voice lilting. 

ten pushed away from the table, sliding off his his chair and moving over to johnny's, swinging a leg over to settle on top of johnny's thighs.

"you," ten repeated, their noses a hair's breadth away.

johnny hummed out an exhale - ten could practically feel it against his lips.

his heartbeat thrummed in his ears.

"you know," ten started, breathless, "last night, i was too tired to do anything else. but now..."

ten slowly traced his fingers down johnny's chest, grinning when johnny tensed under his touch, hands coming up to grip at ten's hips.

"ten..." johnny's voice was soft, lashes long and pretty as they fluttered shut.

"i still want to thank you, johnny," ten said, meaningful in his movements as he hand crept lower, fingertips slipping past the waistband of johnny's pants.

johnny let out a soft breath, lips parting, and ten took the opportunity to lean in, kissing him soft and sure.

they kissed slowly, at first. there was no rush, no frenzied feelings like the night before.

ten brought both of his hands up, cupping johnny's face between his fingers, running his thumb over his jaw as their lips moved languidly together.

johnny was sweet, taking everything that ten gave him, holding him, tasting him.

but ten could feel the heat growing in his stomach and knew they couldn't stay like this for long.

johnny tightened his grip about ten's waist, suddenly pulling him forward so they were chest-to-chest, and ten gasped into johnny's mouth.

he could feel johnny's hardness pressing into the inseam of his shorts.

ten canted his hips forward, wondering how much of breakfast he'd been hiding _that_.

johnny's ensuing groan made ten lean in again, connecting their lips and pressing harder this time, running his fingers through johnny's hair, tugging him forward by the strands.

johnny followed easily, pulling ten closer, sliding his hands up the back of his shirt, fingernails tracing lightly across his skin.

ten shivered in johnny's grip as goosebumps raced up his arms.

they parted with a wet sound, breathless and blushing.

"johnny," ten panted softly, "bedroom?"

"only if we can brush our teeth first," johnny answered, and ten let out a laugh, "you still taste like kimchi."

in the time it took for the two to brush their teeth, ten had managed to lose every article of clothing he was wearing, along with tearing off johnny's shirt and joggers.

they stumbled over to the bed, ten pressing johnny into the sheets with relative ease.

he looked amazing, all spread out against the sheets, and ten ducked down to mouth along the divots of his collarbones, teeth leaving pale pink marks.

johnny groaned, trying to roll his hips up into ten, but ten dug his fingers into johnny's waist, telling him to stay.

"i'm thanking you, remember?" ten teased, running his fingernails across the waistband of johnny's underwear.

"well it seems a lot like you're teasing me instead," johnny replied, hips bucking up regardless.

ten grinned, kissing johnny once, sweetly, before obliging.

he tugged johnny's underwear down to his ankles, tossing the cloth away and running his hands back up johnny's thighs. johnny shuddered in response.

ten grinned, retreating away from johnny and reaching for the drawer of the nightstand to find what he needed.

when he turned back to the bed, condom and lube in hand, johnny had moved himself to the headboard of the bed, sitting up against it while he waited for ten. 

ten slid back into johnny's lap, straddling his thighs easily.

he tossed the condom at johnny while he busied himself with the lube.

he had gotten fairly quick at prepping himself now, which ten supposed wasn't really an achievement but if it got johnny fucking him faster then he would take was he could get.

at three fingers ten was already whining, feeling the heat in his gut tighten. johnny watched him with hooded eyes, biting his lip.

"_fuck_," ten swore, pulling his fingers out and steadying himself before he collapsed against johnny, "i'm ready, johnny-"

johnny pulled ten closer into his lap, inhaling sharply when ten rolled the condom on, giving him a few loose pumps with his slick hand.

ten adjusted his position, eyes shut tight in concentration as he guided himself down.

"okay?" johnny questioned, breath hot against ten's neck.

ten nodded, sank lower inch by inch, only letting out his breath when he was fully seated, clenching his hands into fists where they rested on johnny's shoulders.

"feels good-" ten bit out, whining when he felt johnny's hands brushing up the inside of his thighs. he couldn't tell if it was because of the night before, or because it had been almost a week since he had last met johnny, but he felt much more sensitive than usual.

this was proven when johnny's hips twitched up and ten gasped, falling forward against johnny's chest.

johnny's laugh came out light, and ten felt johnny caressing his back comfortingly.

"too much?" he asked, and ten pulled back to glare at him, but his expression carried no malice.

"be quiet," ten whined, tugging johnny forward by his neck and kissing him quickly, hoping to distract himself from the stretch momentarily.

johnny responded with enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around ten's thin waist and keeping him close, taking in each little whine ten let out at the movement.

after a moment, ten pulled back and mumbled, "you can move now, i'm-"

a sudden jolt had ten arching his back in johnny's grip, crying out. he opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off again by johnny bucking his hips up into ten once, twice more.

ten's hands gripped at johnny's shoulders, fingernails digging in as a warning.

johnny merely smiled, shifting his hips just enough for ten to feel the twinge in his stomach.

ten decided that was about enough of that.

he lifted his hips slightly and let himself drop back down, moaning in sync with johnny's startled groan.

ten smirked; johnny was no longer smiling.

he moved his hips again, bouncing a few times before johnny fell into the rhythm with him, fucking up into ten as he lowered back down.

"_ha-_ _johnny,_" ten whined lowly, head thrown back.

he could already tell he wasn't going to last very long. which was a little upsetting, but he couldn't really think about much else when johnny was gripping his waist tight and letting out soft groans every time ten clenched around him.

"ten," johnny called, "ten, look at me-"

ten opened his eyes, and johnny ran a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his face and pulling him into a kiss.

he could still taste the mint from the toothpaste, and he couldn't help but let out a soft laugh against johnny's lips.

"what's so funny?" johnny asked, and ten could feel johnny's smile before he spoke.

they stilled their movements, and ten leaned back so he could see johnny's grin.

"i can taste your toothpaste," he admitted, which made johnny laugh.

"better that than kimchi, right?"

ten rolled his eyes, lightly hitting johnny in the chest.

"you're ruining the mood."

"says you," johnny retorted, but he chased the smile off of ten's lips regardless, slowly laying him down until ten's back pressed into the sheets, johnny kissing him softly.

ten let out a quiet moan as johnny shifted ten's legs so they curved over the bends of his elbows, pressing in close.

"mood still ruined?" johnny asked, breath warm against ten's lips.

"hmm, let me think," ten feigned a pondering expression before canting his hips down, grinning as johnny exhaled sharply.

"i'll take that as a no," johnny replied, thrusting shallowly, and ten whimpered, hands gripping johnny's arms.

johnny picked up the pace slowly, practically teasing ten with the small movements of his hips.

"please," ten tried to demand, but it only came out as a whine.

from this angle, he could see johnny's dark eyes turn golden under the sunlight, hazy and stunning.

it was all ten could do to not pull him down and kiss every inch of his face, but there were more pressing matters at hand, such as the way johnny continued to barely move his hips, hands lightly running up and down ten's thighs.

"_please_," ten begged again, squirming slightly at the goosebumps raising in the wake of johnny's light touches, "please, johnny-"

johnny thrust once, slightly deeper, grinning when ten twitched and moaned.

"-stop _teasing_," ten was aware of his hypocrisy; he loved teasing johnny, but he wasn't so keen on being on the other side this time.

thankfully, johnny seemed to finally break, shifting ten's legs up and over his shoulders, pushing ten's knees to his chest.

ten's eyes rolled as johnny pressed deeper and deeper, biting at his bottom lip to keep from whining too loud.

"ten," johnny whispered, brushing his lips over ten's, "you look so beautiful."

hastily kissing back, ten realized that johnny had never called him that before, and the thought turned his cheeks more pink than the fact johnny was fucking him.

all he could do was wrap his arms around johnny's neck and pull him close as he began to quicken his pace again, snapping his hips forward, the sound of skin against skin filling the room.

ten couldn't hold back the noises falling from his lips any longer, the sounds growing higher in pitch as the pressure in his stomach tightened, pleasure running through every vein in his body.

"johnny, fu-ck, _fuck-_" ten keened, lips parted as his breath caught in his throat, "-faster, i'm- i'm close-"

letting out a moan, johnny ducked his head and did what ten said, murmuring a mess of words next to ten's ear.

"so good, ten- you're so- so beautiful, so good for me-"

ten could only whimper, breathless, feeling the knot in his gut near the breaking point.

"good-" he echoed, panting, "good for you- so good for you- _johnny i'm-_"

"me too- _ten-_ gonna-"

"_johnny-_" 

ten's back arched high as he came, open-mouthed and untouched, drinking every little noise johnny let out as his hips stuttered to a halt.

he held on tight to johnny for a moment, trying to regain his breath as he basked in the feeling of johnny surrounding him.

it felt like several minutes before johnny finally breathed out a quiet "_fuck_," sitting back up and pulling out, collapsing onto the sheets next to ten.

ten felt hazy and light, curling into the sheets beneath him.

"fuck," he echoed, and added softly, "'m _tired_."

johnny fixed him with an amused look.

"again?"

ten stuck his tongue out.

johnny sighed, reaching out and running his fingers through ten's hair, brushing it delicately out of his face.

"go back to sleep then," he mumbled, and ten tilted his head into johnny's touch, eyelashes fluttering closed.

he'd already gotten a full night's rest. he didn't really need a nap so soon after he woke up, but with the way johnny was coaxing him with careful brushes of his fingers through his hair, ten was finding it harder and harder to stay awake.

"hmm," ten hummed in agreement, turning on his side so he could lean his head against johnny's chest, barely able to muster the strength to do that.

he faintly heard johnny whisper something, lips brushing the top of his head, before he was asleep again. 

ten noticed almost instantly that johnny wasn't there when he opened his eyes.

he'd only been asleep for another hour, barely. he could tell by the way the sunlight still filtered through the window, illuminating the sun-patch he lounged in.

johnny had, yet again, tucked ten into the bedding, the sheets pulled up to his waist to cover him up, despite ten having fallen asleep backwards, with his head at the foot of the bed.

_such a gentleman_, ten snickered to himself.

he sat up gingerly, feeling the familiar twinge of soreness in his lower back as he moved. 

after pulling on the closest pair of shorts he could find, ten traipsed out into the living room, searching for johnny.

he felt more well-rested than he had been in _months. _there just seemed to be something about johnny that helped him sleep more soundly than years of sleeping alone in his apartment.

it made his mind backtrack to the thoughts he'd had earlier this morning...

maybe if he were able to forget about the life he's led, he could just pretend, even if just for today, that he and johnny could have _something_.

a certain something that helped ten sleep at night. something that made his heart flutter and his chest warm. something that made him smile even just thinking about it.

but kun's voice nagged at the back of his head whenever ten gave himself the freedom to think about it.

_i'll ask johnny about it later_, ten told himself, tucking those thoughts away into the back of his head.

for now, he needed to find johnny and get back to kun. he couldn't leave him on read for too long or kun would get suspicious. it wouldn't be the first time something as small as that had set him off.

ten found johnny pacing across the back porch, talking on his phone. judging by the look on his face, the conversation wasn't going well.

stepping through the sliding glass door on light feet, ten crossed over to where johnny had stopped by the railing, returning the small smile johnny gave him.

"listen, taeyong, i'm not asking much," johnny continued his conversation on the phone, "i'm just asking you to figure out who it was. i know i already gave you something else to do, but really it's not much more. _please_."

on the other line, taeyong responded faintly, and the crease between johnny's brow lessened.

"_thank_ you. take jaehyun with you."

johnny listened for another response, and finally said, "yeah, and let me know when you do. okay. thank you."

with a heavy sigh that carried the weight of years of conversations like that, johnny tucked his phone into his pocket and finally looked at ten.

"good morning," he greeted, but weariness tugged at the edges of his voice.

"morning," ten replied lightly, leaning into johnny's chest when he pulled him into a hug, "work troubles?"

johnny laughed like that didn't even cover the best of it.

"you could say that," he muttered, leaning down to press his lips into the crown of ten's head.

ten burrowed himself further into johnny's arms, shivering in the crisp morning air.

maybe he should've thrown on a shirt, too. it was a little _too_ cold to be shirtless outside. 

johnny had pulled on a fluffy, coffee-brown sweatshirt that ten pressed his face into, taking a deep breath.

"i'm trying to find out who those gunmen were, last night at the race," johnny said, and ten lifted his head to look up at him, "hopefully taeyong and jaehyun will find them by tonight."

ten nodded, thinking about hendery. he would have to ask yangyang for an update. with luck, hendery would be discharged from the hospital soon, and back home with no complications. 

"got anything yet?"

johnny shook his head.

"not yet. taeyong said that he might have recognized the man you fought with at the gas station, but he couldn't be sure. he'll get back to me."

"hmm."

the quiet morning fell over them.

birds chirped in the surrounding trees, filling the chilly air with a whirl of notes and songs.

ten turned his head against johnny's chest, so he could see the skyline of seoul glinting in the sun.

johnny's arms wrapped securely around him; one around his shoulders and the other around his waist. ten would stay here forever, if he could.

but he still had to get back to kun. he could say that he was trying to find the other gunmen, and that's why he couldn't go to the hospital yet, or return back home. hopefully it would be an excuse valid enough to justify not immediately rushing to the hospital to see hendery.

he was about to slide out of johnny's arms to grab his phone when johnny broke the silence first. 

"ten, i- i have to ask you something," he spoke suddenly, voice quiet.

ten glanced up in surprise.

"what is it?"

johnny wouldn't meet his eyes for a moment, parting his lips as if he wasn't exactly sure where to find the words he was trying to say.

"is this- i mean, are you... what changed?"

ten scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.

"what do you mean?"

johnny scratched absently at his neck, the expression on his face not dissimilar to the night before, full of hesitancy and wariness.

"i mean," he managed, "why are you still here?"

ten wasn't exactly sure what face he made but it had johnny scrambling to remedy his words.

"fuck, that's not what i- i just meant- i thought you would've wanted to leave by now, since-" johnny's words were rushed and rambling, "-the other morning it seemed like you didn't want to have anything to do with me, and-"

ten realized very quickly where this was going, and reached out to stop johnny before he rambled any further.

"johnny, wait-"

"-i thought when you left that you might not have wanted to-"

"-johnny-"

"-see me again but i'm just so confused because last night and then this morning-"

"_johnny_."

ten pressed his index finger against johnny's pursed lips, effectively quieting him.

"can i say something? please?" ten asked softly.

slowly, johnny nodded, and ten took his finger away.

"listen, johnny," ten started, "the other week, that morning, i... i didn't really know what was going on. i was thinking too much but not about the right things."

johnny stayed silent, listening intently.

"if i'm being honest, i was scared. you were being so nice to me, so i let my guard down, but it scared me to be so vulnerable, and i..." ten trailed off, thinking about their conversation that morning. how he had stormed out, denying johnny's offer of breakfast, denying his feelings...

johnny took ten's hand in his, lacing their fingers together and giving him an encouraging squeeze.

"you what?" johnny prompted.

"i didn't want to think about your feelings because it would make me think about my own," ten admitted, "and i've spent the last several years of my life adamantly trying to shove my feelings down so i didn't have to consider them, because it made my job easier."

he made himself look up at johnny, meeting his eyes.

"but i'm going to be honest about it now, because you don't deserve to be caught up in all this bullshit while i try to figure myself out."

ten waited with bated breath for johnny to respond, but he remained quiet.

so, with a heavy exhale, ten began again, "truth is, i like you, johnny. i like being with you. i want to know more about you, and talk with you, and find out your interests, your tastes and preferences, everything. but i'm scared. i'm feeling all of these feelings but i don't know what to do with them."

johnny's expression softened, and ten pushed on, "with who we are, i don't know what to do. and that scares me."

"who we are?" johnny asked, giving ten's hand another squeeze.

ten let out dry laugh, but it seemed to catch in this throat; not quite genuine.

"let's face it, johnny," ten said, "you're johnny seo. you're the head of the very mafia that my employer, qian kun, hates with every fiber of his being. what do we do about that?"

johnny considered this for a moment.

after a moment's silence, he spoke, "and what if i say i like you too?"

ten felt the corners of his lips tug upwards against his will.

"then you'd be telling me something i already know."

now it was johnny's turn to smile.

"that obvious, huh?"

"only slightly," ten promised him, taking johnny's other hand in his own.

another heavy pause hung over them, the tension of two confessions suspending their breath in time.

ten took the chance to nestle back against johnny's chest, shutting his eyes and burying his face in the soft clothing.

johnny untangled their fingers in favor of cradling him in a hug, warmth seeping into ten's bare skin. 

though the warmth currently filling his heart was probably enough to keep him full for the next century or so.

ten's shoulders relaxed as if the weight of the world had been lifted off him; the freedom of letting himself admit his feelings out loud was _thrilling_.

yet there were still so many unanswered questions.

"so now what?" ten asked, words muffled by johnny's sweatshirt.

"what do you mean, 'now what'?" johnny replied, fingers tracing comfortingly up and down ten's back.

ten shuddered at the touch, but forced himself to pull back momentarily so he could speak clearly.

"i mean _now what?_ i like you. you like me. but sooner or later i'm going to have to go home, see hendery. and surely you're gonna have some mafia boss duties to attend to."

johnny sighed slightly, then furrowed his brow in thought. 

"sooner or later," he agreed, "but not right now?"

ten raised an eyebrow, "well, not _right now_ exactly, but-"

"-then can we just have today?"

ten went quiet, confused.

"hm?"

"tomorrow you can go back home and see hendery, and i'll go back to the office and work on whatever i need to, but lets just have today, okay?"

johnny kept a soft smile on his lips, gazing down at ten as he waited for an answer.

ten had to admit, that sounded awfully alluring.

a whole day to forget about everything outside of johnny's warm embrace.

"okay," he answered, unable to help the grin that crept up.

johnny practically beamed.

"for today, i'll just be johnny seo, regular guy, instead of johnny seo, mafia boss. and i'll get to spend the day with ten..."

"chittaphon leechaiyapornkul, regular guy," ten finished for him, laughing at the look on johnny's face, "it's thai."

"yeah," johnny replied through a chuckle, "i kinda guessed. chittaphon..."

"leechaiyapornkul. don't worry," ten grinned, "you'll get it soon enough."

"i suppose i will."

ten wasn't ashamed to admit he had spent a majority of the day doing absolutely nothing.

he and johnny had followed their conversation with some couple hours spent watching whatever was on tv, ten curled up against johnny's side.

he'd texted kun not too long ago, telling him that he left home early that morning and would be gone for a while, searching for the other gunmen.

kun hadn't responded yet, which made ten nervous, but he held onto the hope that that excuse was good enough.

besides, he would have plenty of distractions to keep him occupied during the day.

for one, he got to discover that johnny's pool was heated.

johnny had noticed ten's attention drifting from the tv over towards the back patio, watching the reflections of the sunlit water.

"you want to swim?" johnny had asked, and ten shrugged with a slight frown.

"it's too cold outside, anyways."

"it's heated."

ten had taken only a few seconds to make up his mind after that.

he couldn't really remember the last time he had swam purely for fun, and he wasn't embarrassed to say he had spent the greater part of the morning in johnny's swim trunks, swimming around the pool while johnny sat by the edge, feet dipping in the water with a lazy smile on his face.

it felt nice to just pretend he was a regular guy for once, not worrying about who he needed to kill, or who was trying to kill him.

underwater, it was quiet. nothing to be think about except the careful lullaby of the water all around.

ten broke the surface of the water, wiping the water out of his eyes as he swam over to the edge of the pool where johnny sat.

"having fun?" johnny asked, and ten grinned, running his fingers through his wet hair to keep it out of his face.

"why don't you come in and join me?" ten asked, flicking some water at johnny and hoisting himself up onto the pool edge so he held on his with arms.

johnny shook his head slightly, still smiling.

"i don't want to ruin all your fun," he said, reaching out and gently cupping ten's cheek in his palm.

ten snorted, "you could never ruin my fun."

before johnny could reply, ten reached up, pulling him down by the neck into a quick kiss.

he could feel johnny's smile against his lips before the puff of breath that signaled his laugh.

johnny didn't seem to care that ten's arms were dripping wet, soaking into his clothes, as he pulled ten even closer.

ten tilted his head, swiping his tongue across johnny's bottom lip as he drew back slightly.

johnny chased after his lips, and an idea popped into ten's mind.

"do you have your phone in your pocket?" he asked, sliding his hands down so they rested at johnny's biceps.

"no, wh-"

before johnny could even finish his sentence, ten grabbed johnny's arms and yanked him forward, both of them falling back into the pool with a _splash!_

ten floundered for only a moment, gaining his bearings in the water and splashing off to the side once he broke the surface, laughing as he did.

however, he yelped when johnny came up right next to him, splashing him with a handful of water.

"hey!" he cried out, covering his face, "i'm sorry! don't splash me!"

johnny merely laughed, swimming off to the pool ledge where he could rest and wipe the water from his eyes.

"hey, that's revenge for you getting my clothes all soaked," he told ten, smirking, "how about that?"

ten conceded, bowing his head once in confirmation, "fine, fine."

he couldn't help but let his gaze drag up and down johnny, from his water-slicked hair to the way his shirt clung to his frame, outlining his body.

ten subconsciously bit at his lower lip.

but before he could even think about doing anything, johnny pulled himself out of the pool, water dripping from all of his clothes.

"where are you going?" ten asked, a pout on his lips.

"shower," johnny said, giving a little jerk of his head towards the house.

in the afternoon light, the water droplets on his face turned to diamonds.

"oh," ten replied, slightly disappointed that johnny wasn't going to stay out with him longer, "okay."

ten swam back over to the other side of the pool as johnny made his way to the glass door, admiring the way johnny's back muscles shifted under his shirt, but johnny suddenly turned, catching ten's unabashed staring.

"are you joining me, or what?" johnny questioned with a smirk.

ten had never scrambled out of a pool quicker.

despite having been naked _and_ in johnny's bed before, ten felt strangely timid stepping into the shower with him.

it was easily large enough for two people and more, but it felt far too intimate. 

_you don't have to be scared of intimacy anymore_, ten tried to remind himself, but he still found himself hugging his arms to his chest under the warm spray of the shower, painfully aware of johnny's proximity to his body.

he jerked in surprise when johnny's fingertips brushed against the small of his back, and johnny apologized quietly.

"sorry, i was just- reaching for the shampoo," he spoke quickly, and ten ducked his head in apology as well.

there was a pause. ten kept his gaze fixed on a specific tile on the shower wall, avoiding johnny's eyes.

"why are you so shy?" johnny asked softly, "i'm not seeing anything i haven't before."

ten shrugged, arms still held to his chest.

"i don't know," he admitted, "just... feels different, i suppose."

another pause.

ten wondered if it was because johnny had no idea what to say in response, but when he looked up, johnny seemed to be thinking about something.

finally he asked, "do you want me to wash your hair for you?"

ten wasn't exactly sure how johnny had gotten to that point from what he'd just said, but it wasn't an offer he would turn down.

"yeah," he said, and in an even quieter voice, "that would be nice."

johnny led ten towards the shower spray, turning him with light hands on his shoulders so that his back faced johnny.

ten leaned into johnny's touch, shivers running up his arms despite the hot water.

when johnny began to run his fingers through ten's hair, softly combing out the knots and tangles, ten nearly went limp in his arms.

"good?" johnny asked, voice barely audible over the sound of the running water.

"mhm," ten replied quietly, "feels nice."

johnny hummed as he worked, scrubbing some shampoo into ten's hair, careful to keep the suds away from ten's eyes.

it was hypnotizing; johnny's fingers massaging at his scalp. every time ten shivered, he was greeted by a soft laugh from johnny, but no other words were spoken between them.

although, seemingly as quickly as it started, it ended, and johnny was rinsing all of the soap and shampoo out of ten's dark hair.

johnny's fingertips followed the trail of soap down ten's neck, brushing over the top of his spine and down his back. intimate, sensual.

"your bruises have been healing nicely," johnny's lips nudged against the shell of ten's ear as he spoke, "that's good."

he hadn't even thought of the bruises since the night he got them, but ten felt his heartbeat quicken at the idea that johnny had been thinking of him.

he also recognized the familiar feeling of arousal creeping down his stomach along with the goosebumps johnny was giving him.

ten found himself leaning back against johnny's chest, resting his head in the space between his neck and shoulder.

johnny's hands came up to ten's waist, fingers easily finding his hips and holding him there.

tilting his head, ten pressed his lips to johnny's sharp jaw, and whispered, "how about you give me some new ones?"

after that, it was mere moments before ten had turned around and kissed johnny's eagerly parted lips.

and if he bruised his knees on the shower floor thanking johnny then there was nobody to know except them.

by the time ten and johnny had gotten fully dressed and dried again, the sun was hanging low above the horizon, and ten's stomach was growling.

he and johnny lay on the couch; johnny on his back, and ten on his stomach between his legs, head resting upon the pocket of johnny's sweatshirt.

something was playing on the tv, but neither johnny nor ten were really paying much attention to it.

"should we get takeout?" johnny asked, tilting his phone to the side so he could look down at ten, who gave a little nod.

"we'd better. i'm starving."

"i bet," johnny replied with a smirk, and ten slapped his thigh lightly.

ten was still a little distracted from the conversation though, as kun still hadn't given ten a reply. yet the last text he send was marked _read 11:27 am_.

he tried to keep the thought in his head that maybe kun was simply too busy to badger ten about it, but the sinking feeling in his chest persisted.

hopefully taeyong and jaehyun would give johnny an update soon, so ten could spin that into his own message to kun, telling him he'd either taken care of the problem or was still solving it.

his saving grace came in the form of johnny's phone ringing halfway through dinner.

they had ended up ordering some noodles from this one place that ten recognized as getting food from with hendery one day, and johnny had been halfway through a bite when he noticed his ringtone over the sounds of the tv.

ten muted the tv quickly, listening intently to the call.

"taeyong. you have news?" johnny asked after finishing his bite of noodles.

ten couldn't hear the response, but midway through taeyong's sentence, johnny turned it on speaker.

"-hiding out in some rundown motel not far from the highway by the track."

johnny glanced at ten, who mouthed _who are they?_

"did you find out their identities?"

"yeah," taeyong scoffed, "that and more. we've got them tied up at one of the warehouses outside the city. they broke pretty easily."

"so who are they?" johnny prompted.

this time, it was jaehyun who responded, "johnny, do you remember those defectors from a while ago? the ones who wanted out?"

ten felt nausea build up in the back of his throat, but he forced it down. 

johnny seemed to not be able to recall, as evidenced by his, "no..."

"it was a few months ago, those two jang brothers and their friend kwangsung? they wanted to leave but they demanded payment so they wouldn't go to the police? and you told them that's not how it works around here?"

over the course of jaehyun's explanation, recognition lit up in johnny's eyes.

"it was them?" he asked, disbelieving.

"turns out they didn't take to kindly to your threat on their lives," taeyong said, "they decided to enact a little revenge after you told them to get lost."

it was silent for a moment. johnny closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in thought.

ten kept quiet. _the ones who wanted out_... it gave him an uncomfortable tightness in his throat to think he could even be in a similar boat as them. 

"johnny?" taeyong broke the silence, "what do you want us to do with them?"

johnny dropped his hand from his face and raised his eyebrows at ten in question.

it struck him that johnny was asking _him_ what to do.

ten froze.

he couldn't help but wonder which one he had fought with at the abandoned gas station. which one johnny had already killed. one of the brothers?

ten felt a strange inclination to tell johnny to let them live. he didn't want any more blood to be shed on his account.

_they hurt hendery_, he reminded himself scathingly, _they almost killed him. they almost killed _me.

"johnny?" taeyong asked again, "hello?"

if they were allowed to live, there was a surefire chance they would come back and try to finish the job. and johnny had already been too lenient with them once. to do so again could end up being fatal. 

slowly, ten raised his hand and drew a line across his neck with his thumb.

johnny nodded.

"make sure their bodies won't be found," he finally said.

"you got it," taeyong responded, and hung up promptly.

the sense of nausea welling up in the back of ten's throat hadn't ceased yet. there's two more people's blood on his hands, now. two more bodies added to the path of havoc ten had led for the last five or so years of his life.

johnny could seemingly sense the conflict in ten's mind, opening his arms and gesturing for ten to lean into him.

they sat back on the couch, noodles unfinished (although ten doubted his appetite would come back for the rest of the night), with ten laying against johnny's chest as johnny held him.

"so much for 'regular guys', huh?" ten said, but he couldn't muster any humor to go with it, so his words sounded hollow and small.

johnny tilted his head down so he could press a kiss into the crown of ten's head. the small motion felt familiar, comforting. ten curled tighter against johnny's sturdy frame.

"it was for the best," johnny responded quietly.

ten nodded, but it still did nothing to relieve the heavy feeling in his chest.

how many more lives would he have to take before he could finally find a way to get out?

it wasn't until late that night that ten was finally able to force himself to ask the question that had been prodding at the back of his head the entire day.

"do you ever think about getting out?" 

they had been laying in johnny's bed, ten tucked safely under his arm as a little spoon, but ten had rolled onto his back so he could look at johnny as he asked.

"hmm?" johnny hummed sleepily, "getting out?"

ten paused, biting his lip before he answered, "you know, like, getting out of this life, finding something normal. have you ever thought about it?"

even in the darkness of the room, ten could tell that the question had caught johnny off guard.

ten wondered immediately if this was a topic he shouldn't have even brought up in the first place. after today, he would've thought... but maybe he just shouldn't have said anything.

"you know what?" ten remedied quickly, "you don't have to answer that. let's just go to sleep. goodnight!"

he attempted to roll back over to hide his face, but johnny caught him by the shoulder.

"i do."

johnny gently pulled ten back so they were face to face.

"i think about it a lot, actually," johnny murmured, "do you?"

ten opened his mouth to answer, but the words died in his throat.

he was terrified of the mere idea of speaking his thoughts out loud, as if somehow kun would hear them.

never even once had he talked to anybody about this. not yukhei, not hendery. not sicheng or any of the others.

nobody but himself.

when ten finally replied, his voice came out as a whisper.

"always."

the word was accompanied by a rush of air, a sigh of relief at finally having those words lifted from his tongue, out in the world.

there was just something about johnny that made it easier for ten to breathe when he was around.

it encouraged him to ask another question: "if you could get out, would you?"

johnny blinked once, twice, then, "yes."

something warm bloomed in ten's chest.

_he wasn't the only one. he wasn't alone in his wishes to get out_.

ten wanted to ask more, but he kept his mouth shut, scared he would be going too far if he asked johnny if he'd ever consider leaving with him.

that was a question for another day.

instead, ten tilted his head forward to kiss johnny once, softly.

"me too," he whispered against johnny's lips, before shifting so he could rest his head against johnny's shoulder, palm resting on his chest.

it only took a few stifled yawns for ten to drift off, johnny's heartbeat underneath his fingertips.

the next morning was quiet.

it was quiet when ten sat up in johnny's bed, sheets wrapped around his bare shoulders as he texted kun, telling him that the gunmen had been taken care of and that he'd be back sometime that morning.

it was quiet in the house as ten and johnny got dressed, johnny handing ten a bundle of clothes with a quiet, "the clothes you left at the apartment, the other morning," and ten thanked him with a slight bow of his head.

it was quiet while they drove down the early-morning streets of seoul, ten making a quick call to yangyang to let him know he'd be swinging by the hospital to see hendery.

by the time johnny pulled into a parking space at the hospital, ten sitting in the passenger's seat with a small bouquet of flowers he had bought from a florist's shop he'd spotted on the road and impulsively made johnny stop by, the quiet between the two was almost deafening.

the feeling of unspoken words hung over the both of them; a saturated cloud ready to burst into a summer storm.

at first, neither of them made eye contact. 

johnny pulled the keys from the ignition, and the background noise of the engine running halted. ten stared through the windshield at the entrance to the hospital, lips parting and closing a few times as he tried to figure out what to say.

the quiet carried on for a couple more minutes, every second more painstaking than the last.

finally, as it became unbearable, both ten and johnny spoke-

"ten, i-"

"i suppose i'll need-"

they turned to each other, eyes meeting across the center console.

the corners of johnny's lips turned upwards as he said, "you first."

relieved by johnny's soft and open expression, ten pulled his phone out from his pocket and spoke, "i suppose i'll need your phone number, so we can stop meeting in unfortunate situations such as friday night."

johnny nodded in agreement, gently taking the phone from ten's outstretched hand and typing a few things in.

"text me so i have yours too?" he asked as he added his name to ten's contacts.

"of course."

when johnny handed the phone back to ten, he could see his contact saved simply as 'johnny seo'.

ten gave it an approving smile before typing a quick 'it's ten :)' and setting it on his lap.

the quiet descended on them again, but this time it felt more comfortable than awkward. more like the quiet hours they spent cuddled together on the couch than anything else.

ten felt reassured by the conversations they'd had at johnny's place. so much of the weight he'd been carrying for the past few weeks had been lifted off of his shoulders; even if not completely, at least the effect had been minimized.

it felt nice to have somebody ten could trust with these sorts of things. as much as ten loved xuxi and hendery and the rest of them... there were some things he couldn't tell them.

ten's phone buzzed, distracting him momentarily from his thoughts.

it was yangyang, asking if he was here yet, and letting him know which room hendery was in.

out of the corner of his eye, ten could see johnny looking at the text.

"you probably have to go, huh?" he asked.

ten nodded, "yeah. gotta make sure hendery's okay."

johnny smiled at the fond look on ten's face.

"he really is like a brother to you, isn't he?"

ten glanced up at johnny, suddenly feeling his heart skip a beat at his expression.

"more than anything," he answered truthfully, "if anything ever happened to him, if he ever got hurt... worse than this... i don't even know what i would do."

ten couldn't help but think of kun as he spoke.

johnny nodded like he understood the feeling. ten wondered who johnny was thinking of. maybe taeyong? or jaehyun?

another notification buzzed ten's phone on his lap. yangyang again.

at this point ten was aware he was trying to stall. he wasn't sure when he would get another opportunity like this again.

he pointedly ignored his phone in favor of reaching across the center console and grabbing johnny's hand, fingers trailing gentle lines over his palm and wrist.

johnny looked down at their hands, momentarily distracted.

when he looked back up, ten watched as his lips parted to speak-

"ten, we-"

ten pushed forward, covering johnny's words with his lips, his free hand coming up to cup the side of his face, palm resting on his jaw, fingers running through the short ends of his soft hair.

just like the rest of the morning, it was a quiet kiss.

soft breaths passed between slightly-chapped lips smoothed by lip balm, fingers resting on warm skin. 

johnny tasted like the mug of hazelnut coffee he'd managed to make before they left, and ten, like the mint of johnny's toothpaste.

ten sighed out with a hum when they parted, eyes still shut as they tilted their heads together, foreheads meeting in the middle.

fingers tangled with fingers, hands tucked hair behind ears, thumbs brushed softly against cheeks.

ten could drown in a moment like this.

but it was more likely that he'd be pulled from the deep before he could get too far.

his heart raced in his chest.

"please," he muttered shakily, johnny's exhale tickling his lips, "please tell me we're going to be okay, johnny."

"we're going to be okay," johnny said, but it sounded less like an echo and more like his words came straight from the heart. "no matter what happens, we're going to be okay."

ten's pulse jumped in every part of his body.

"thank you."

hendery was awake when ten got to his hospital room.

he was sitting up in his bed, an iv tube running from his arm to the stand, chatting quietly with yangyang, who sat in one of the guest chairs.

they both turned towards him at the sound of the door sliding open.

"ten-_ge!_ " hendery's face lit up, "you're here!"

hendery's smile was infectious, and ten felt it in the way his own smile came so easily.

"how are you feeling?" ten asked before saying anything else, "i brought you some flowers, too."

"i'm great!" hendery replied, "i feel so much better! my arm still hurts a bit so i'm not really supposed to move it until it gets healed up, but everything else feels great! but what about you? where were you yesterday?"

at this, yangyang joined the conversation, "yeah, you kind of went m.i.a. all day after you called friday night. at least until this morning."

ten bowed his head, sighing ever so slightly. 

"i know, and i'm sorry about that. i would've visited you right away, 'dery, but i spent the day tracking down the men from the race."

ten was surprised at how easily the lie came. though he supposed that once you've lied to qian kun, lying to anybody else is easy.

"ten-_ge_," yangyang protested, "why didn't you let us know? we could've helped, you know."

"yeah," hendery added indignantly, and ten almost felt the need to point out that he was still bed-ridden in the hospital, and couldn't have come along anyways.

"i know that, and i appreciate you both, but I didn't want anybody else to get hurt because of me," ten said, voice pained, "if any of you went with me to find those gunmen, what if one of you got hurt or even _killed?_ i already let hendery get hurt. i wasn't going to risk that again."

evidently, ten put enough emotion in his voice that neither yangyang nor hendery needed any more convincing than that.

it wasn't as if he needed to completely fabricate his fears anyways. even the sight of hendery in his hospital bed made ten's skin crawl. he never should've put hendery in a situation like that.

"besides," ten said, before anybody else could speak, "there won't be any problems with them anymore. i took care of it."

"yeah, and i'm supposed to get out of the hospital this evening. so we don't have to worry about it anymore, right, ten-_ge?_ "

"right."

yangyang agreed reluctantly, muttering under his breath that ten still could've asked for help instead of going off on his own, but the conversation seemed to be more or less abandoned.

that night, after hendery was discharged from the hospital, they had everybody over to the apartment for a welcome-home dinner.

ten was in the midst of clearing away some of the dishes from the table while everybody else sat in various states of conversation or video game playing in the living room.

a cake sat in the center of the coffee table, more or less torn apart by the current inhabitants of the space. it had been yangyang's idea, and hendery had gotten the first slice so it didn't really matter what state it was in any more.

it was a small thing. store-bought and hastily customized in a near-illegible scrawl of neon green frosting _'welcome home, hendery!!!'_ as if he'd been hospitalized for weeks on end instead of one night and day.

still, the sentiment was nice. yukhei, yangyang, and xiaojun had worked on preparing it while ten and sicheng had gone to pick him up from the hospital. and it made hendery smile like the sun itself, so it had been more than worth it for the extra trip to the store.

ten watched the racket in the living room with a warm, content feeling buzzing in his chest.

there they all were. his friends, his partners, his _brothers_.

xiaojun and yangyang were currently engaged in a high-stakes game of mario kart, while hendery and yukhei made bets behind them and sicheng watched with piqued interest, eyes constantly switching between the tv screen and his phone.

a little laugh forced its way from ten's throat when xiaojun narrowly beat yangyang, the latter pretending to tackle xiaojun to the ground as yukhei handed hendery a small bill.

_it feels so nice to have them all here again like this,_ ten thought to himself, turning back to the sink to rinse the rest of the plates.

eventually, the night began to die down. the clamors of mario kart contenders were replaced with the quiet lullaby of a web-drama ost, playing through the credits at the end of another episode.

on the couch, xiaojun, yangyang, and hendery slept quietly, xiaojun sitting in the center with the other two leaned up against him, a blanket draped over the whole bundle.

yukhei had let sicheng take his bed in favor of the loveseat, half-awake as he tried to force himself to get through another episode of the drama, but ten could see in his hazy eyes that sleep was going to win that battle in five minutes, give or take.

ten himself was starting to feel a little tired, eyelids heavy as he stifled his yawns.

he had been texting intermittently with johnny while everybody else had been focusing on the tv, but ten wanted to hear his voice, and he wasn't sure he could do that with the guarantee of privacy until everybody else was asleep.

finally, when yukhei had eventually dozed off, and the apartment was quiet again, ten slipped outside onto the balcony and sent a quick text: call me?

it was only a minute until ten's screen lit up with the call.

"hey," ten answered, only mildly embarrassed that he had picked up after the very first ring.

"hey, yourself," johnny replied easily, "are you alright? why did you want me to call?"

it struck ten that johnny seemed to think that he was in some sort of trouble or needed help.

not that ten wanted him to call for something as trivial as-

"i just wanted to hear your voice again," ten muttered, cheeks warming in the chilly air.

he expected johnny to say something like _is that all?_ or _you just saw me this morning_ but instead johnny says, "i miss you too. i wish we could've had another day."

his voice is soft and low and it makes ten's heart beat against the inside of his ribs.

"we'll have another day. sometime soon."

ten really isn't sure if he's reassuring johnny or himself.

"when we do," johnny confirms, "what do you want to do?"

ten hums in thought, picturing having an entire day with johnny, just like he'd had only yesterday.

"it's getting too cold to do a picnic..." he mused, "maybe ice skating? that's fun."

"ice skating would be fun," johnny agreed, "but only if you let me take you out on a fancy dinner-date afterwards."

_dinner-date_. ten could practically picture it already. how long had it been since he'd gone on an actual date with someone?

"would you buy me something nice to wear for it?" ten asked, raising his eyebrows at nobody.

"anything you wanted," johnny said.

ten _really_ liked the sound of that.

it wasn't that he didn't have enough money to treat himself, but ten enjoyed being spoiled by other people every so often. who was he to resist a glittering ring or a lacy shirt here and there? 

something told him that johnny wouldn't mind swiping his card at every store in the mall for ten.

"looks like i've got myself a sugar daddy, huh?" ten said.

a surprised laugh filled ten's ears, followed with "ugh, _gross_. please don't ever say that again," and johnny making a fake gagging noise.

ten couldn't help but laugh too; if hendery's smile was contagious, johnny's laugh was irresistible.

"okay, sorry, sorry," ten managed through stifled laughter, "i promise i won't say it again."

"_good_," johnny said, then paused for a moment. "i wish i was there with you."

ten sighed, the cold breeze sinking into his bare skin.

"i wish you were here with me too."

ten spared a glance back over his shoulder, through the windows at the dimly-lit living room. on the couch, hendery stirred.

"i might have to go soon," ten told johnny, keeping an eye on hendery's slowly-moving form.

now it was johnny's turn to sigh.

"i'd better let you get to it then, huh?"

"yeah, probably."

in the living room, hendery stood from the couch, tucking the blanket back around yang yang's shoulders and across xiaojun's chest.

the movement was so gentle and full of adoration that ten couldn't help but smile.

"i'll see you soon?" ten asked hopefully.

"soon." johnny confirmed again.

"okay then," ten's voice was soft- he stifled another yawn, "goodnight, johnny."

"goodnight, ten."

neither of them hung up for a few residual seconds, but as soon as ten heard the balcony door opening, he tapped the 'end call' button.

"ten-_ge?_ what are you doing out here?"

hendery had stepped out onto the balcony, holding something in his hands.

"just clearing my head," ten replied, giving his head a little shake as he spoke, "i thought you were asleep. what do you have?"

hendery used one hand to offer the thing towards ten, the other reaching up to rub at his sleep-hazed eyes.

"i brought you a slice of cake. i saw that you didn't have any earlier, so i wanted to make sure you got some."

ten stared at the plate, suddenly filled with the strange, overwhelming urge to cry. slowly, he took it in his hands, the accompanying fork sliding slightly as he did.

hendery scratched the back of his head slightly.

"i'm pretty sure i managed to get a piece that wasn't touched by anybody else's forks, but they're kind of heathens when it comes to eating- oh!"

suddenly ten was setting the plate on the small table and pulling hendery into a soft hug, mindful of hendery's arm.

hendery relaxed into the hug almost immediately, tucking his chin into the crook of ten's neck and wrapping his uninjured arm around ten's lower back.

_thank god hendery is okay_, ten thought, blinking away the tears threatening to spill over his lashes, _thank god he's safe, and he's alive_.

as if hendery read his thoughts, he mumbled out a few quiet words into ten's ear, "i'm okay, ten-_ge_. don't worry. i'm okay."

ten didn't speak, for fear that if he tried to say anything, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from crying for real.

hendery seemed to understand just fine.

they stood there for a quiet moment, hugging in the cool night, while ten could only think one thing.

_please let everybody get out of this alive_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y'all enjoyed the chapter!! the final chapter should be finished within the week, so be sure to stick around!!!
> 
> sorry if the ending of this chapter was a little abrupt, i was having a hard time figuring out where to cut the chapter in two 
> 
> i'm so sorry again for how long this has taken for me to write and upload :(( but feel free to find me at my twitter, @daegushoya !!


	6. part VI: the fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things come to a crux >:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. here we are. the last chapter ( sorry for the extra wait. y'all know me. unpredictable with my updates lmao. sorry D: )
> 
> this has been such a ride. i spent quite a few months planning this and even longer writing it, but i genuinely would not have been able to do this without all of your love and support along the way. thank you and i love you all, truly.
> 
> i hope you enjoy!!

**seoul, south korea**

**autumn**

the next several days passed by with increasing restlessness. 

ten continued to check his phone for any more updates from kun, but he'd been left on read since that sunday morning.

this was alarming for several reasons, specifically that kun never left ten on read. he always had to have the last word, had to throw in the last snarky or demeaning message, to which ten would usually respond by leaving _ him _ on read.

and this new radio silence on kun's end wasn't only for ten, either. all of the others reported hearing nothing from kun. no updates, no new missions, no green lights or go-aheads for races or underground fights.

nothing.

one of the only things getting ten through the week was hearing from johnny regularly.

they called every single night after ten was sure yukhei was asleep.

sometimes ten would sit out on the balcony with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as they talked, wishing johnny were there with him.

sometimes ten would lay in bed, shirtless and panting, hand pressed over his lips to quiet the noises he made while johnny's voice hummed on the other line.

sometimes ten would lean his phone against the coffee maker in the kitchen during video-calls, comforted by johnny's presence as he made late-night tea, even if it was just through a small screen.

most nights they avoided talking about mafia-related topics. 

although ten itched to ask johnny about getting out of the life again, he would always divert the conversation whenever it strayed to their occupations.

ten found this both delightful and aggravating.

for one, ten was finding out a lot about johnny that he never knew before.

he loved photography. he was a bit of a coffee snob. he loved dogs, but hadn't had one since he was a kid.

ten had responded by obliging quite a few things about himself, namely the fact that he loved chocolate and sushi, and wanted to get more into photography and art.

it didn't miss him that ten wasn't quite sure what 'fun facts' to share about himself, because he hadn't had a lot of time to explore his own interests as he and kun were fighting their way up the ladder. not to mention that since kun gained his leadership position, he tended to keep ten on a pretty short leash.

ten wanted to know what he would be good at. what kind of career he could establish. what kind of person he would be, without kun and the mafia.

but he couldn't start that discussion with johnny as it would force him to confront the idea of leaving again.

it was shockingly clear how much johnny was struggling with the idea.

he may have given an honest answer that night in bed, but outside, surrounded by his workers and the people he led, it became noticeable that johnny either couldn't or wouldn't talk about it.

ten wondered when he could get johnny alone again, to carefully peel back his guard and address the question again.

the urge to talk about it only got stronger the more that kun ignored him.

the lack of response had ten constantly on edge. 

did kun find out somehow? find out he wanted to leave? that he was quite literally fraternizing with the enemy? was he planning something big? something so secret that neither ten nor the others could know about?

the questions kept building up as the days began to blend into weeks.

the weather grew colder and colder still as fall began its slow decent into the colder months.

ten had been able to see johnny a couple of times throughout the weeks, though most often they were quick meetings, only enough time to grab a coffee at the shop down the road, or a quick invitation up to one of the vip rooms at a nightclub, usually ending with ten in johnny's lap, or bent over the table, or up against the wall, followed by a change of clothes. 

it wasn't that ten didn't enjoy these short dates, but he was ecstatic when johnny was finally able to get away from his work long enough to present him with two tickets to lotte world the the guarantee of the promised dinner-date.

"i'm going out for the day!" ten called out to yukhei and hendery from his bathroom, who lounged in the living room watching a chinese drama, "don't wait up for me!"

"where are you going?" hendery shouted back.

"i'm having a 'me-day'!" ten replied, fixing his earrings in his reflection, giving his hair and outfit a once-over before confirming he was ready to go.

he was supposed to be taking an uber over to johnny's apartment, so neither yukhei nor hendery would see johnny picking ten up from his place. it stung a little bit to not be able to even have the idea of normalcy in their relationship in that aspect, but ten had a feeling that his worries would be more than diminished for the day once he and johnny met up.

johnny had the unique skill of making ten feel normal whenever they were together. and maybe it was the fact that he never wanted to talk about the mafia, but it worked for them whenever ten wanted to feel like he was a normal young man going out on a date with his boyfriend.

_ boyfriend _. 

he and johnny hadn't quite classified what they were yet, but ten knew it went a lot further than fuck-buddies. maybe he could ask about that today on their date.

it made ten giddy, knowing that he and johnny were finally going on a real date.

today would be a good day. he knew it.

the day turned out to not only be one of the best ten had ever had in recent memory, but it was also full of many surprises that johnny had planned for them.

they had spent nearly four hours enjoying lotte world (despite the many rides, ten's favorite part was convincing johnny to squeeze into a photobooth with him and snap a few photo strips to take home), but after that, instead of taking ten back home, johnny drove them to myeongdong market to indulge ten even further with the many department stores and jewelers.

although almost everything was paid for with a quick swipe of johnny's card, ten managed to get johnny to go grab them a quick snack from the bakery across the corridor of the shopping mall while he did a little shopping of his own in the women's section.

when they met back up outside the shops, johnny raised an eyebrow at the small bag in ten's hand.

"you'll see," ten answered with a sly voice.

their afternoon was quiet, with ten trying on the clothes that johnny had bought, showing them off in the living room of johnny's apartment.

he modeled while johnny snapped photos of him, posing against the windows and furniture. he felt light and airy, filled with a kind of joy he couldn't quite describe. backlit by the afternoon sun, ten truly felt like he could do anything.

maybe now would be a good time to ask johnny...

but before ten could even consider forming the words, johnny set his camera down and sat on the couch, pulling ten into his lap with ease.

"you could be a model for vogue, you know that baby?"

ten shivered at the tone of johnny's voice, goosebumps raising at the back of his neck, all thought of serious conversation abandoned.

"i know," ten answered, fingers trailing over johnny's cheekbones, down his jaw and neck, "i've got a face meant for the front cover."

johnny's hands tightened around ten's hips.

"confidence is sexy on you," johnny said with a grin, his fingers lowering from his hips to the juncture where ten's thighs met his torso, "and in all of your new pretty clothes..."

ten jerked slightly when johnny pressed down, knowing it was a sensitive spot.

then, he smirked. _ two can play that game _.

"you'll have to wait until after dinner then," ten purred, leaning forward and brushing his lips against the shell of johnny's ear, "wouldn't want to ruin all of these '_ new pretty clothes' _, as you put it."

with that, ten withdrew from johnny's lap, reaching over to grab the camera sitting on the table. johnny watched him with a dazed expression.

"now lets take a look at these vogue-worthy pictures."

dinner was another one of the highlights of the day.

johnny drove them to a luxury japanese restaurant near the banks of the han river, easily passing by the front with a reservation for two.

the waitress started them off with water and miso soup, giving them time to figure out what they were going to order.

ten couldn't help his eyes straying from the menu to johnny, who had dressed incredibly sharp for the occasion.

in fact, ten believed he was wearing the same outfit he'd worn when ten had first met him; a fitted black turtleneck under a black suit jacket, accessorized with gold jewelry and other sparkling accents.

but unlike that first night, johnny had dressed to match with ten.

ten wore comfortable dress slacks, but the point of his outfit was the shirt.

a dress shirt, the torso made of black silk that was smooth and cool to the touch, the sleeves made of a fine lace embroidered with golden flowers. judging by the price, ten had to guess that the golden thread used had to have at least eighteen karats. 

ten had wanted it immediately, and johnny hadn't even batted an eye at the price-tag.

a win-win situation for all.

ten had also accessorized with gold jewelry; his bottom-most piercing held golden snakes with emerald eyes that spiraled down the sides of his neck, the next one up a simply golden dangle chain. every other piercing he had was simply designed golden studs. all new.

however, ten wasn't only wearing lace on his sleeves.

underneath all of the fancy things johnny had bought him, ten was wearing another fancy thing he had bought _ himself; _ a black lace lingerie set that he itched to be able to show off already.

(quite literally. it wasn't terribly comfortable under all of his clothes.)

throughout dinner, it was practically all ten could think about. he knew johnny would spend all night with him, slowly taking him apart piece by piece. absentmindedly, he wondered how many times johnny could make him-

"ten? did you hear me?"

"hmm?" ten stumbled out of his thoughts at the sound of johnny's voice, "ah, no, sorry. must've zoned out for a second."

johnny smiled in a way ten was beginning to associate with adoration.

"don't apologize," he said kindly, "i was asking if you wanted to take a walk down the han river after we're done?"

ten considered this. 

on one hand, he wanted to get johnny back to his apartment and in bed as soon as possible.

on the other... a walk along the han river seemed to be the perfect set up to a situation in which ten could risk asking johnny about leaving the mafia again.

"that sounds good to me," ten finally replied.

maybe he'd be able to kill two birds with one stone tonight.

they spent most of their walk in silence, simply taking in the views and the sounds.

there were several other couples or groups of friends scattered around the area, though they huddled together in the chilly night.

the second ten shivered against the air, johnny wordlessly slid his suit jacket off and wrapped it around ten's shoulders. ten gave johnny's hand a slight squeeze by way of thanks.

soft music floated over the river from somewhere or another, perhaps a busker or a shop's outdoor speakers. ten didn't trouble himself with trying to find the source; the night was simply there to enjoy.

at a certain point along the riverbanks, they crossed a pedestrian bridge and turned to head back the way they came.

ten could feel the silence drawing to a close.

he opened his mouth to speak, a quick intake of breath, but he wasn't sure how to say what he wanted to ask.

johnny noticed ten's hesitance, looking over at him in interest without speaking.

ten glanced up at johnny, worrying at his bottom lip. _ how was he supposed to ask this? _

he was feeling more and more like it was a mistake to bring it up, but he already got johnny's attention and he couldn't think of any other words to fill the space.

"johnny, would you leave with me?" ten asked quickly, before he could chicken out.

but clearly, he hadn't phrased it quite right, because johnny merely raised an eyebrow.

"leave? what do you mean?"

ten had to force himself to take a deep breath before speaking again.

"i mean... _ leave _ leave. like, get out of seoul. get out of this life, go somewhere else and start fresh."

johnny's shoulders stiffened. 

he looked away.

ten's heart dropped to his stomach.

"i... i don't..." johnny's voice trailed off. his hand suddenly felt cold in ten's. 

after a moment, johnny turned to ten. "why are you asking?"

ten faltered slightly, lips pursed. _ shouldn't it be obvious? _

"because i want to get out. soon. and i want to get out with _ you _."

johnny's eyes widened before he could catch himself, staring at ten.

they stopped walking. 

ten paused apprehensively, watching johnny struggle for words.

then, "what's wrong with what we have now?"

and it was ten's turn to stare at johnny.

"_ what's wrong with _ \- what? what's _ wrong _ with it?"

"yeah," johnny replied, defensive.

ten blinked. he let go of johnny's hand a took a step back.

"maybe the fact that you can't even pick me up at my own apartment so nobody will know we're together?" he snapped, "or the fact that you have to sneak me up the back stairs at the club? or that we both have to give excuses to the people we know about where we're going, because we can't risk anybody finding out? what about any of that feels _ normal _ to you, johnny?"

johnny's expression hardened. 

"you said you were okay with all of that."

"because i didn't know it was going to last this long!" ten cried out. "i thought that maybe we would have come up with something by now, i don't know!"

"like what, _leaving?_ _fleeing the country?"_

"as a matter of fact, yes!"

all at once, it was quiet.

ten could feel his heart pounding in his chest, hands clenched into fists.

johnny closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. it was almost cold enough to see his breath.

"ten," he spoke softly, opening his eyes, "you know i love you, right?"

ten's heart stopped. his lips parted with a shaky breath.

johnny extended his hand, an invitation to keep walking.

_ you know i love you, right? _

the words rang in his ears.

"i love you too," ten said, reaching out and linking their fingers together.

they began to walk again.

after a few steps, johnny continued, "i would do anything for you. anything. but this... i..."

a strange mix of fear and anger began to creep up ten's spine.

"you said you would," ten spoke lowly.

johnny flinched at ten's tone.

"what?"

"that night, in bed," ten's voice was rough, "you said you would get out."

johnny frowned. 

"ten, i said i would if i _ could _, that's-" 

"but you can!"

"i can't!" johnny snapped, "it's really not as simple as you might think, ten! i can't just pack a suitcase and leave, there's- there's things that you don't-"

"-oh don't tell me there's things that _ i _ don't understand, johnny seo," ten spoke with a quiet rage, "i am not a fucking _ child _ you can _ scold _."

up ahead, ten could see johnny's car parked along the street. he resisted the urge to make a beeline to it.

"then what about you?" johnny asked, "what about your friends, your- your parters? what about _ hendery?" _

"don't-" ten started, but johnny spoke over him.

"would you just leave him there? leave him with the others without telling him where you're going?"

"don't you dare play that card, you can't-"

"would you leave him in the hands of qian kun?"

"shut _ up _ ," ten seethed, "shut _ up! _ don't you _ dare _ talk about him like that."

but in his head, ten was imagining a thousand scenarios in which he did told hendery where he was going, and kun would attempt to torture the information out of him. or scenarios in which ten never told hendery where he was going, abandoning him, and kun would try to torture the information out of him anyway.

in front of him, johnny's expression was pained.

"so you see," he pressed on, "there are too many factors to consider. we _ can't _ just up and leave. it doesn't work like that."

ten took a controlled breath, trying to steady his pulse. his eyes glanced over at johnny's car.

"if it was possible, i would do it in a heartbeat, ten. i really would."

ten finally looked up at johnny.

"could it ever be a possibility?" ten asked, slowly losing any last shred of hope at johnny's crestfallen expression.

"i- i don't think so," was johnny's reply.

"then," ten spoke, voice carefully measured, "i think it would be best if you drove me home."

johnny's eyes narrowed, "ten-"

ignoring him, ten stripped the suit jacket from his shoulders and threw it none-too-lightly at the path between them. 

"i'll be waiting by the car."

ten spent the car ride in simmering silence, refusing to look anywhere but outside the passenger-side window.

as soon as johnny pulled up to the curb of the apartment complex, ten swiftly stepped out of the car, slamming the door behind him without a second look.

johnny's words kept ringing in his ears as he barreled past the people on the sidewalk. he nearly shoulder-checked a young man with a camera in his hands, who stumbled back when ten pushed past him, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. he was too preoccupied with his own problems to care about any of the passerby.

_ johnny told me he loves me _ , ten thought, his shoes clicking against the tiles of the atrium in the entrance of the complex, _ but he also told me that it would never be possible to just up and leave _.

he kept replaying their argument in his head, fingers tapping restlessly against the handrail of the elevator the entire way up.

could he have said anything different? phrased it differently so he could have changed johnny's mind?

ten stalked out of the elevator once it reached his floor, angrily rummaging through his pocket to find the keys to his unit. 

johnny had made a point about hendery, but it didn't make ten feel any better about it. johnny had _ no _ right to talk about hendery like that.

ten's hands were shaking as he tried to force his key into the lock, fumbling a few times before he could get the door open.

as soon as he burst into the apartment, ten's eyes burned with unshed tears.

"oh, ten-_ge_, you're back!" yukhei's startled voice came from the couch, "how was-"

through blurry eyes, ten vaguely registered that there was someone else there with yukhei, but ten didn't care to get a better look, passing straight through the living room and down the hall, slamming his door so hard that it shook the frames on the walls.

in the low light of his bedroom, ten stripped his clothes off to the very last layer of lace, collapsed onto his bed, and began to cry.

ten wasn't sure how much time had passed. could've been thirty minutes or three hours, but at some point he had stopped sobbing into his pillow and merely lay there, nose running and head pounding, his lace-clad body hugged by the pillows surrounding him.

out in the living room, ten could hear conversation mingled with the sound of yukhei's drama playing on the tv.

he sniffed and rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his palm.

ten couldn't help but think that he should have kept his mouth shut. why couldn't he be happy with the situation he and johnny had found themselves in?

he'd had the perfect day. and he'd ruined it in less than five minutes.

he longed to grab his phone and call johnny. to apologize, to say it was stupid to even _ think _ about something such as leaving. but the prospect of even looking at his phone right now terrified him.

a soft knock at his bedroom door caught his attention.

"ten-_ge?" _ a gentle voice called.

hendery.

ten didn't answer, half hoping that hendery would just go away, half hoping that he would come in to talk to him anyway.

fortunately, the door slowly swung open, spilling the light from the hallway across ten's bed, illuminating his curled-up form.

"oh, ten-_ge _," hendery spoke, but it didn't sound pitying. he had a way about that.

hendery closed the door behind himself, stepping lightly across the floor towards the left side of ten's bed, setting a glass of ice-water on the nightstand there. ten knew by the sound of the ice clinking quietly against the sides of the glass.

ten didn't turn to look at him, instead burying his face further into the pillow he was curled around.

a weight sunk into the bed behind ten. 

then, a sigh.

"boy problems?" hendery asked.

ten stiffened, brow knitting. did hendery _ know? _

he uncurled himself from around the pillow and turned onto his other side, looking at hendery through tear-soaked lashes.

then, he nodded.

hendery hummed in thought.

a fraction of his face was lit up by a passing car outside.

"do you want to talk about it?"

ten considered this, then shook his head.

he wasn't sure his voice was strong enough to form a single sentence right now.

hendery nodded, then gestured to the glass on the nightstand.

"well, i brought you a glass of water. you should drink some."

ten hummed in response, but made no movement to sit up and drink any.

hendery laughed a quiet, breathy laugh, shaking his head slightly.

the sounds of the tv filtered through the door, and hendery paused for a moment to listen.

ten listened to. the soundtrack really was quite beautiful, all classical instruments, flutes and strings. maybe he would get yukhei to tell him more about the drama tomorrow.

"you know, ten-_ge _," hendery suddenly spoke, "for what it's worth, i think you look really pretty."

ten glanced up at hendery, then back down at his own outfit. he kind of forgot that he was still wearing the lingerie.

"whoever he is," hendery continued, "he doesn't deserve you."

ten blinked; tears ran down his damp cheeks.

"thanks," he managed to croak out, voice hoarse. 

hendery nodded, reaching out a hand to run his fingers through ten's hair like ten had done for him hundreds of times before.

ten sighed, eyelids fluttering closed again, hendery's calm fingers brushing through his hair like a lullaby. 

he was already so tired out from crying, he could already feel sleep tugging at the edges of his consciousness.

absently, hendery began to speak again, chatting about this or that, his soft voice helping ten drift off.

"xuxi has a guy over right now, i don't know if you saw..." hendery said, "said his name was lee something... i can't quite remember. minhyung, i think? he looks kind of familiar, actually..."

ten was already mostly unconscious, hardly able to process hendery's words, and before he knew it, he was asleep.

as soon as he wakes up the next morning, ten knows its going to be one of _ those _ days.

he hasn't had one of these days since... well, since that night after the gala. after johnny had beaten him and he'd failed his mission and kun had reprimanded him for it.

that felt like ages ago, that night.

but ten wakes up with wet eyes and a headache and a hollow feeling in his chest and he just _ knows _.

ten makes himself get out of bed long enough to change out of the lingerie set he's still wearing and into something much more suitable for spending the day drinking himself into unconsciousness. 

an oversized tee and a pair of dark grey joggers is what ten finds himself wearing as he steps down the hallway, pausing momentarily to peer through the crack in the door of yukhei's bedroom.

whoever he had over last night is still over, curled up in the sheets and in yukhei's arms, limbs tangling in such a blatant picture of comfort that ten feels a twinge in his heart.

putting johnny out of his mind, ten pushes out of the hallway and into the kitchen, searching through the fridge for the first bottle of alcohol he can get his hands on before retreating back to his bedroom once more.

the first thing ten does is dump the glass of water hendery got him down the bathroom sink and fill it back up halfway with soju. he downs that, then downs another just to spite himself.

no point in not starting off strong.

if yukhei were awake, he would tell ten it was too early in the morning to start drinking. try to convince him to have breakfast and a cup of coffee first.

if hendery were here, he would try and make ten drink some water, then hide the rest of the liquor in the apartment.

if kun were here, he would chastise ten with his words and an open palm. he would probably slap ten around for fun until he got angry, then he would _ really _ hurt him.

every scar kun had ever given ten prickled uncomfortably.

ten was thankful he was alone.

days like these tended to slide away from ten before he knew it, the hours slipping through his outstretched fingers like sand; each second a granule that he could never seem to hold on to.

he drank until the sun was high in the sky and his head was heavy on his shoulders, stumbling down the hallway instead of walking as he searched for a new source of alcohol in the kitchen.

this time the kitchen wasn't devoid of people anymore.

the guy yukhei had over was looking through the fridge, supposedly for something to eat for lunch.

ten bumped into one of the chairs at the table, steadying himself against the frame with a deep breath.

the young man flinched and spun around at the sound, frozen like a deer in headlights when he saw ten.

even through his muddled thoughts, ten recognized him immediately. 

"oh _ shit _," mark lee swore breathlessly. 

ten slowly took in the sight in front of him. 

mark stood still, paralyzed by ten's gaze, holding a bottle of orange juice in one hand and a tupperware full of... was that pasta? ten didn't know, or quite frankly, care.

"move," he muttered, shooing mark away from the fridge so he could look through its contents once more.

mark stumbled back as if burned, still staring.

ten rummaged around the fridge for only a moment, until he found some sort of sweet, tropical liquor that smelled nice enough.

it took a couple of tries to close the fridge, and when he did, he turned and focused his eyes on mark.

"i know who you are," he spoke tonelessly.

mark flinched again at the words.

"i'm- please don't tell-" 

"whatever," ten cut across his words, already making his way back to his room, "i won't tell. it's not like it matters anyways."

_ nothing matters at this point _.

mark opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again.

_ i wouldn't even gain anything but telling... anyone, really _.

"don't forget to put the orange juice back," ten called to mark before disappearing into his room.

ten sat heavily on his bed, focusing on not falling straight down onto his back.

he never knew that yukhei and mark... 

yukhei _ had _ been gone a lot recently. with nothing to do, ten supposed he had to be filling his time with _ something _.

he just didn't know that something was mark lee.

ten couldn't help but laugh. how was it that all these weeks and he and yukhei had been in the same boat?

_ it doesn't matter anymore, _ten told himself sharply. his laugh stuttered into a hiccup. 

he missed johnny. 

suddenly, ten was standing in front of his bathroom mirror. 

tears ran down his cheeks when he looked up at his reflection, knuckles turning white as he gripped the edge of the sink.

_ how did i get here? _

ten's phone sat on the counter by his hand.

the screen was unlocked. ten's last conversation with johnny taunted him from the screen.

_ yesterday _

_ the car should be there soon. you ready? _

_ 10:17 am _

_ yep!! im so excited :D _

_ 10:18 am _

_ me too! hope you wore something comfortable _

_ 10:20 am _

_ don't worry ;) i did _

_ looks like the car is here! see you soon ^^ _

_ 10:21 am _

_ see you soon! _

_ 10:21 am _

ten stared at the texts, tears dripping hot and heavy on his phone screen, blurring the words.

yesterday, 10:21 am.

he needed to see johnny again.

he could fix it.

he could fix this.

even if johnny was mad at him or ignoring him or _ anything _, ten could fix it. 

he was good at fixing things. he could fix it. he fixed things for kun all the time. he could fix things for johnny now.

he had to be able to fix it.

he had to.

before ten knew it, he was wandering down the sidewalk, in the general direction of johnny's apartment.

he stumbled a little as he walked, hands instinctively reaching out for the sides of buildings and bus stops to steady himself.

most of the passerby ignored him, avoiding eye contact and walking a wide berth around him, as if he were some kind of mild inconvenience. 

ten couldn't find it in himself to be ashamed. 

he was far too concerned about getting himself to johnny to think about anything or anybody else.

a sense of relief flooded his mind when the front entrance to johnny's apartment complex came into view.

ten tried to make his way as quickly as he could to the lobby, pushing through the doors with way more force than necessary.

the door gave way easily and ten toppled forward, landing hard on his hands and knees against the cool tile of the lobby.

the floor swam in front of ten's eyes, sliding away from him- no, towards him- by the time ten realized he was falling over, it was too late to try and catch himself.

he hit the floor with a soft sound, rolling off of his side and only his back, squinting into the blaring light of the lobby.

"_ fuck _..." he muttered under his breath, pressing a palm against his throbbing temple, as if that would help the ceiling stay still.

suddenly, someone's face swam into view above him, their head blocking out the light above.

"what the _ fuck _ are you doing here?" they snarled.

ten had to blink a few times before his vision could focus on the face.

"you dyed your hair," he said stupidly, alcohol slurring his words together.

lee taeyong, sporting freshly-dyed, brick-red hair, leaned over further to peer at ten, eyebrow raised.

"yeah, duh. and i said _ what the fuck are you doing here?" _

ten flinched away from taeyong's voice, curling in on himself.

"i- i need-" he hiccuped, "i need to see johnny, i-"

a wave of nausea pushed up against ten's throat and he had to stop talking, breathing slowly so as not to gag.

taeyong blinked, withdrawing for a second. he clearly knew something was wrong now, by the look on his face.

he stepped back, shoving his hands in his pocket, muttering under his breath.

ten squinted and held a hand above his eyes to block out the light shining down.

his limbs seemed to buzz like tv static. 

_ i need to see johnny _.

taeyong stepped back into ten's view, after apparently having weighed the pros and cons of helping ten.

"okay," he said, holding out a hand for ten to take, "i'll take you to see johnny. come on, get up."

ten let out a gasp, reaching up to take taeyong's hand, _ thank you, thank you- _

taeyong pulled ten to his feet with relative ease, grabbing one hand and draping ten's arm across his shoulders to help him walk.

"i just want you to know," taeyong spoke icily, pulling ten into an elevator with him, "that if anyone else had found you just now? you would be a dead man walking."

ten didn't respond, head dropping onto taeyong's shoulder as the elevator doors closed in front of them.

"i'm only helping you cause of-" taeyong cut himself off, as if he wasn't meant to say what he was about to, "whatever. let's just get you to johnny."

by the time they made it out of the elevator and to johnny's front door, taeyong was practically carrying ten, his body limp against the other man's.

taeyong rapped his knuckles sharply against the door.

it only took a second for johnny to come to the door, pulling it open as he spoke, "taeyong, did you forget some-"

johnny froze when he saw ten; expression shifting in a way that ten could only describe as hackles raising.

"what did you _ do? _ taeyong, i told you not to-" he demanded, but taeyong waved a hand quickly.

"i found him like this. in the lobby. he told me he wanted to see you."

at this, ten pushed away from taeyong, stumbling towards johnny and collapsing in his arms with a cry of his name, _ i'm here, i'm here, i can fix it- _

johnny fixed an exasperated look at taeyong.

"what's wrong with him?"

"drunk, by the look of it," taeyong scoffed, "and by the smell of it, too. anyways, he's your problem now."

johnny looked down at ten, who was currently doing his best to cling to johnny in his best impression of a koala, tears soaking into johnny's sweater, then looked back up at taeyong.

ten couldn't remember when he had started crying, but now that he was with johnny he could make it okay.

"thank you," johnny spoke, arms wrapping around ten in reassurance, "for bringing him up. you can go, i'll take care of this."

taeyong raised one single eyebrow, laced with amusement and something like curiosity before he spun on his heel and left, hands tucked in his front pockets.

johnny watched him go before shutting the door and guiding ten over to the couch, where he sat down heavily. 

"i'm sorry," ten spoke breathlessly, wiping the tears from his cheeks with his forearm, "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry-"

ten couldn't remember what he had wanted to say to johnny in the first place besides _ i'm sorry _.

_ i can fix it. _

"i can fix it," ten promised; he found himself grasping at johnny's hands, his own cold and clammy since the walk over.

"how much did you drink?" johnny asked, ignoring ten's words, scanning his eyes worriedly.

ten faltered, brows furrowing, "that's... that's not-"

"how much did you have to drink, ten?" johnny repeated pointedly, and ten frowned even further.

with a huff, he pushed away from johnny, untangling their fingers and stumbling to his feet.

"i didn't- i didn't come here to he babied," he spat, ignoring the nauseous feeling choking his words, "i came here to- to-"

_ why did he come here again? _

ten used the couch to hold himself up, unsure if he could trust his own legs to hold his weight.

"i came here to fix... to..."

no, that wasn't right.

"to..." ten's vision became unfocused as he tried to remember why he was here.

_ to fix it, to leave, to love him, to get out... _

there were too many things to do.

the floor was sliding out from under him again, but before ten could collapse, johnny was right there, hands around his waist, holding him tight.

ten stared up, up, up at johnny, but he couldn't really focus on johnny's expression when his hands held him so sweetly.

he had missed being held by johnny.

ten remembered why he was here.

"we... we have to leave," ten told johnny, blinking hard until johnny's dark eyes came into focus, "we have to get out."

johnny's face pinched and ten knew he had said the wrong thing.

"ten, i told you last night-" 

"i _ know!" _ ten shouted, suddenly finding himself pushing out of johnny's hands again, stumbling back against the dining table. something glass knocked over, clattering against wood. "you don't understand! kun is- i think- kun-"

ten's eyes welled up with tears before he could finish his sentence.

somehow, that only made him angrier; tears were an obstacle for him, making it harder to just _ say what he was trying to say _.

"fuck!" ten wiped haphazardly at his tears as they fell, "i think kun is planning something, and i can't- i can't risk you getting hurt, johnny! don't you _ get _ it? the only choice we _ have _ is to leave!"

johnny shook his head, "what do you _ mean _, he's planning something? what's happening?"

ten's hands curled into fists against the table, "he's- he's just gone m.i.a. or _ something _, i don't know! he hasn't been in contact with any of us and he's- he's never- and i can't-"

he faltered, words catching in his throat. 

johnny took a stuttering step forward, hands held out as if he were comforting a wounded animal, "ten... breathe. just breathe."

but ten couldn't get enough air in the next rattling gasp he took before he was rambling again. if he could just find the words-

"whatever he's planning, he- it can't be anything good. he's- he's ruthless, nothing can stop him from what he wants, and if his end goal is you, then- then-" ten's voice was borderline hysterical by now, he can't catch a breath, he just has to let johnny _ know _.

"ten, breathe."

but he _ couldn't _.

"johnny we have to, we _ have _ to leave, he'll- he'll find out. he'll find out and then he'll kill you and make me watch and then he'll kill me, and i can't-"

"ten, how? how would he find out? you need to calm down and breathe."

"i don't _ know! _ i just know that we're in danger and we need-"

johnny interrupted him with a shout, "ten, _ breathe!" _

ten stopped for a moment, eyes widening as his nausea swept over again, and this time he couldn't keep in down.

within seconds, ten was fumbling down the hallway, hand pressed hard over his mouth until he collapsed to his knees in front of the toilet, clutching at the edges of the bowl as he emptied his stomach of all the liquor he'd forced down throughout the morning.

johnny was calling his name somewhere behind him, until ten could hear his voice right behind him, footsteps across the bathroom, then-

a hand combing through his hair comfortingly, and johnny's soft voice, "it's okay, ten, it's okay, just get it out. just get it all out."

ten wanted to respond, but his body seized and he spat up more, ducking his head down.

somewhere in the middle of it all, he began to cry again.

ten couldn't help but think he'd cried enough tears for a lifetime just in the last twenty-four hours alone, yet here he was, tears and spit dribbling down his chin, bent over the toilet while johnny stroked his back reassuringly.

he finally gasped for breath once everything was up and out of his system, spitting a couple of times before he reached up to flush the toilet.

all at once, the strength left his body.

"'m sorry," he hiccuped, leaning his forehead against the toilet, "i'm so sorry, johnny..."

"no," johnny's voice was nothing above a quiet murmur, "no, it's okay. you don't have to be sorry. i understand. just try to breathe."

ten shook his head, "no, no, i'm so sorry, i'm- i-" he took a shuddering breath, but his exhale only came out as a sob.

he was so, _ so _ tired.

"i'm going to get you a glass of water, okay? stay here."

ten could barely register the absence of johnny's hand on his back, still muttering apologies under his breath as his eyelids fluttered, trying to stay conscious. 

his head pounded, his own pulse the loudest thing in his own ears.

"i'm sorry hendery... 'm sorry xuxi," ten mumbled, losing his grip on the edge of the toilet. 

his body hit the floor, yet he couldn't even register the impact, only the feeling of the cool tile pressing into his temple.

"i'm sorry..." ten whispered, eyes finally shutting.

two more tears dripped from his lashes, fresh dew in the morning.

and then he was out.

ten must have floated in and out of consciousness after that.

he couldn't fully process what was happening but johnny's voice whispering softly in his ear felt far too real to be a dream.

and johnny's hands helping him, holding him, cradling his face with soft touches.

light and shadow melted together through ten's barely-opened eyes.

"try and get some rest, ten," johnny's voice echoed in his ears. something soft surrounded him, cool to the touch.

his head was too heavy to lift. his fingers clenched around the soft sheets beneath him, he was sinking down through them, down, down, down, until-

he was back home.

not at his apartment in seoul, but back in shanghai, in the first apartment he'd ever gotten by himself.

well, not entirely by himself.

his first apartment had been with...

footsteps behind ten chilled him to the bone.

"chittaphon," kun regarded him, backlit by the neon lights streaming through the open curtains. 

ten stiffened, stumbling backwards into the barstools by the counter, scrambling to hold himself upright. 

kun clicked his tongue, disapproving. 

"chittaphon," he repeated, "i already told you, you don't have to be afraid of me."

the gun he tapped against the side of his leg told a different story.

"i'm not," ten tried to answer, but his voice came out weak, frail. he cleared his throat and tried again, louder this time, "i'm not afraid of you."

kun shook his head, "wrong. you're terrified of me, chittaphon. why?"

"no, no i'm _ not!" _

ten's voice echoed around him.

they were no longer in the apartment. 

now, his words filled a larger space; a warehouse.

_ the _ warehouse. from the night that-

the gunshots still rang in ten's ears to this day.

they were so much louder than ten had expected, from up close.

ten shut his eyes instinctively, hoping that if he didn't look at the bodies, didn't watch as kun pulled the trigger, it would all go away.

"what are you so afraid of?"

kun's breath ghosted across ten's face; the hair on ten's arms raised.

it all felt so _ real _.

"are you afraid that i'll kill you? that i'll kill you like i killed these men?"

the gunshots rang out, and ten, unprepared, flinched at each one. three shots in quick succession, then two more right after.

warmth spattered across his face. ten held back the need to gag, blood dripping down his cheeks and off his chin. he kept his eyes squeezed shut.

"i," he spoke shakily, "am _ not afraid of you _."

ten opened his eyes to see kun standing right in front of him, his gun aimed level at ten's chest. 

around them, the bodies lay, blood slowly pooling around them, the stench of blood filling the air, filling his lungs-

"oh chittaphon," kun's expression tightened, "if only that were true."

he pulled the trigger.

ten woke with a startled gasp, ears ringing with the sound of the shot, hand pressed to his chest, as if to make sure there wasn't really a wound there.

"ten?" johnny's voice called from the bathroom, and a moment later, he appeared in the doorway.

as soon as he saw ten awake and sitting up, johnny crossed the room and sat at the edge of the bed, his hand finding ten's and linking their fingers together easily.

"are you okay? how do you feel?" he asked quickly, and ten was close enough to see that johnny had worried his lower lip raw.

ten let out a groan, raising the hand on his chest up to his temple.

"ugh, like shit."

that made johnny laugh, although it mostly sounded like a sigh of relief.

"here, drink some water," johnny grabbed a glass from the bedside table and pressed it into ten's hands, "i got you some painkillers, too."

ten didn't try to resist, downing about half of the glass before taking a breath and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"thank you," he muttered when johnny accepted the glass again, and johnny replied with a nod.

ten glanced around the room, eyes wandering over the walls. it was almost completely dark, save for one of the bedside lamps casting a faint yellow light across the room.

"what time is it?" he questioned, "how long was i asleep?"

"about eleven," johnny answered, checking the watch on his wrist, "you dozed off around one in the morning. i was starting to get worried that you might not wake up around the seven hour mark."

ten pursed his lips. had he really been asleep for that long? his dream felt like it had only lasted _ minutes _. the edges of his thoughts were still tinged with fear.

when ten didn't immediately respond, johnny stood from the bed, gesturing to the kitchen.

"do you want something to eat? we can talk more about... what you were saying when you came over?"

_ that's as good an offer as any _ , ten thought, _ maybe i can get him to change his mind about leaving _.

"okay."

now that ten had a chance to explain his thoughts articulately, and without the intrusion of alcohol, johnny seemed to be genuinely troubled.

he turned away from the sink after rinsing a ten's plate of the pasta johnny had reheated for him, drying his hands and bracing them on the counter behind him.

"so you think kun is trying to plan something? why didn't you tell me this last night?"

ten took a deep breath, reminding himself not to yell. he sat perched on the opposite counter, legs dangling off the side.

"because," he said evenly, "you were already objecting before i could solidify my argument. and then you brought up hendery, and i was too mad to think about anything else."

johnny's frown deepened.

"i'm sorry," he said, "i shouldn't have talked about him like that. i know how much he means to you, and it was insensitive of me to say what i did so blatantly."

ten's eyes widened. he hadn't expected an apology like that. 

"thank you," he replied, "apology accepted."

johnny nodded, but didn't say anything else.

ten tapped his fingernails against the countertop, filling the silence.

then, "so you understand now, right? why i was so urgent about it?"

johnny nodded slowly, looking down at his feet.

"yeah, i do..."

ten knew that was an unfinished statement.

"but...?" he prompted, hopping off of the counter, feet touching the floor silently. he crossed over to johnny and lifted his chin with a gentle hand, making johnny look at him, "but what?"

johnny took ten's hands in his, giving them a little squeeze.

"i just need a little time. to think about it."

ten was unable to bite his tongue, dropping johnny's hands and crossing back over to the other side of the kitchen.

"we don't _ have _ time, johnny! what is there to even think about? kun could very easily be here in a day or in a week, and we would have no idea!"

johnny's aggravation showed clear in his voice when he responded, "you think i don't know that? ten, i understand, but you need to give me some time to just think about it! as you said last night, i don't need to explain to you how many loose ends i have to consider before doing something like this."

"kun isn't going to wait for your fucking loose ends, johnny!"

johnny opened his mouth to retort, but clamped it shut again. clearly, whatever he was about to say had to be reconsidered.

ten waited, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently against the floor.

finally, after a deep breath, johnny leveled his gaze at ten.

"just give me a few days," he said, "that's all i'm asking for. i'll get you an answer by then."

ten wanted to grab johnny by the shoulders and shake him until he got an answer now, but something told him that this was the best he was going to get.

"fine," ten said, uncrossing his arms, "three days. in the meantime, i'm going home."

he made it halfway to the front door before johnny was there, pressing his hand over the doorknob before ten could reach for it.

"ten, please. it's late and it's cold outside. just stay here for the rest of the night."

"no," ten replied, jaw set.

"ten," johnny protested, "you don't even have a jacket. just stay."

"no," ten said forcefully, "i'm going home. you can't stop me."

johnny let go of the doorknob as if he'd been burned, and ten wasted no time in pushing out into the hall with a grimace.

"ten, at least let me drive you, please!" johnny called after him.

ten had to admit that sounded a hell of a lot more desirable than walking home alone in the cold, but he'd already made it this far. his stubbornness won out.

"i'm perfectly capable of making my own way home," he spoke over his shoulder icily.

with that, he turned to corner towards the elevators, hands shoved in his pockets, and sighed heavily.

it was going to be a long walk home.

ten makes it about halfway to his apartment before he starts to regret his decision.

the air was smelling suspiciously like it was about to dump a last-minute frigid rainstorm over the city, as if nature had one more cruel trick to play on him, and ten's feet were beginning to hurt.

ten paused in the middle of the sidewalk, glancing back down the road he'd come from.

in his head, he weighed his options.

option one: he turns around and heads back to johnny's apartment, admits defeat and lets johnny either drive him home or stays the night even though ten's still angry with him.

option two: he keeps going until he gets to his apartment, makes himself some tea, and hopefully watches some late-night tv with yukhei or hendery if he's there.

both options included walking through the night alone in the cold for around the same time, but ten can't help but lean a little further towards option two.

so, ten sucks it up, warms his hands with a quick exhale, and starts to walk again.

except this time, he hears something clatter behind him.

it's a quick sound, something moving in the alleyway he'd just passed by, nearly indistinguishable from the rest of the night sounds if ten hadn't been hyperaware of his surroundings since he'd considered his situation.

_ i'm being followed _.

it's a little surprising how quickly ten realizes it. it had been a long time since anybody had had the gall to stalk him, trying to leverage a surprise attack, that ten had forgotten the chill that settles at the base of his neck. like they were directly behind him, breathing down his back.

_ stay calm _.

ten keeps walking, not wanting to clue in whoever was behind him that he had caught the slight misstep. he didn't want to scare them away or give up the upper hand.

he keeps an ear out for the echoes of his footsteps against the buildings around him, listening carefully for a second pair.

at first, he hears nothing.

_ maybe i'm just imagining things _, ten considers, frowning.

but then, he catches it-

another misstep. one single footstep out of line with his own that clues ten into the fact that not only is someone behind him, that someone is trying _ very hard _ to disguise that fact.

ten lets whoever the person is follow him for a another few blocks at a meandering pace, but his eyes search for another alleyway he can use to spring a trap.

within those few minutes, ten's shoulders begin to dampen with scattered raindrops, the light drizzle only a sign of what's to come of the real storm.

_ fuck _ , ten swore to himself, _ i better get this over with if i want to get home before i'm drenched _.

after a moment, ten turns naturally into the next alleyway, as if it was part of his trip all along, and not a random sidetrack. 

as soon as he's sure he's out of sight from whoever is following him, ten races behind a dumpster, searching the ground for anything he could use as a weapon.

sure, he was perfectly competent with his own two hands, but he didn't want to risk the chance that he would be bringing nothing but bare fists to a knife fight, or worse, a gun fight.

there were no crowbars or metal pipes hanging around the wet pavement, unfortunately, but ten _ did _ find an old pallet with a few loose 2-by-4s, so that had to count for something.

ten crouched in the shadow of the dumpster, trying very hard not to breathe through his nose, holding the wood plank steadily in two hands.

the drizzle begins to pick up into a steady rainfall, and within seconds, ten is nearly soaked.

he _ really _ should've just accepted johnny's offer to drive him home.

ten's heart leaps into his throat when he catches movement out of the corner of his eye.

a man wanders down the alley at a slow pace, clearly cautious and aware of his surroundings.

even in the dark and the rain, ten can see him fairly clearly.

he's wearing a black mask and a black baseball cap pulled low over his face; hard to identify his face. the rest of his outfit is all black, or dark colors, anyways. a bulky black motorcycling jacket and gloves, sturdy boots.

he came prepared to fight.

which is why ten only has mere seconds to catch him by surprise.

just as the man steps around the dumpster, ten springs out, pushing off of the wall behind him to give himself extra force, and swings the wood plank as hard as he can towards the man's head.

but the man is fast. quicker than ten can process, he blocks the plank with his forearm, countering ten's second swing with a kick that sends ten stumbling back a few steps.

_ out of practice _, ten tells himself, raindrops flying when he shakes his head to clear it.

ten launches himself forward again, this time swinging the board with his left hand and using the momentum to follow through with a punch with his right hand; the man blocks the board but doesn't move quick enough to miss ten's fist colliding with his nose.

the man lets out a pained sound, and his mask slips down slightly, revealing a bloody trail from his nostril.

ten reconsiders his opponent for a moment. he's slightly taller than ten but he sounds _ younger _ than ten expected.

he only pauses for a moment, but the young man is already moving again, lashing out at ten. he grabs the plank in ten's hand and uses it to tug him forward into a kick, which ten quickly steps back from, but the rain has made the plank slick and nearly impossible to keep ahold of.

the plank slips from ten's hand and he lets it, instead using a hand to grab at the young man's outstretched leg, hooking his arm behind the young man's knee and forcing him off-balance.

although hobbling on one foot, the young man isn't completely defenseless, and ten has to duck under his swing of the wooden plank.

ten blocks the next swing with his free hand, wrapping his hands around the young man's wrist and forcing it down until his fingers open and the plank goes clattering to the ground.

not giving up, the man tries to force his way through a punch, but ten knocks his arm down and grabs it, pushing it back to his side and taking away his mobility.

much to ten's surprise, the young man let out a cry of pain when ten grabs him by the left bicep, as if there were a previous wound there.

_ he's a good match for me _ , ten thinks, tilting the young man back, jerking his knee higher and higher until he grabs ten's arm so he won't fall on his back, ten the only thing holding him upright, _ but not good enough _.

in the quick movement, the young man's cap falls backwards off his head, revealing fear-widened eyes.

ten's breath catches in his throat.

his lips part, rain-slick and shaking.

"hendery?" ten's voice barely comes out above a whisper. 

within seconds, hendery breaks out of ten's hold, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and twisting, letting gravity take ten down to the ground instead.

ten hits the ground hard, the impact startling the breath out of his chest, rain soaking into his shirt.

hendery straddles his stomach to keep him pinned down, but it's unnecessary. ten doesn't think he'd be able to raise his fist against hendery, not now, knowing its... 

he blinks up at the boy. then his gaze dips and he sees the barrel of a gun pointed directly at the space between his eyebrows. 

hendery is trembling from head to toe, eyes still wide, only blinking when the rain runs down his face in rivulets. or are those tears? ten can't tell, he's still struggling for breath, struggling to understand why... 

it felt like only hours ago that ten had picked hendery up from the hospital, had seen him smiling cheerily with the other boys, bringing ten a slice of cake on the balcony, comforting ten last night, running his fingers through his hair...

"hendery..." ten spoke breathlessly, but hendery clicked off the safety and ten shut his mouth, inhaling sharply through his nose.

they were both shaking now, whether from fear or the freezing rain or whatever was going on behind hendery's wide eyes.

ten stares up at him, gaze darting back and forth between hendery's eyes as tears begin to well up. when hendery blinks, they drip down his lashes and cheeks, dropping onto ten's chest.

for a moment, neither of them move, save for the constant shivering.

ten can't help but think this feels worse than every single time kun had ever pointed a gun at him.

hendery's index finger hovers over the trigger.

then-

"_ fuck!" _ hendery's voice comes out as a sob, something so guttural that it sounds like it was wrenched from his lungs by bare hands, and he pitches sideways off of ten's body, sitting hard on the pavement with his head bowed.

his hair hangs around his face, damp and wavy, and his shoulders shake with the force of his sobbing. 

ten can't get up for a moment, merely turning his head to watch hendery weep. 

his body finally kicks into action, movements jerky as he forces himself to sit up and kneel in front of hendery.

the jagged pavement digs into ten's knees but he can't bring himself to care.

very slowly, as if working with a wild animal, ten reaches out and uncurls hendery's fingers from around the grip of the gun, clicking the safety back on and setting it aside.

then, he opens his mouth to speak, but hendery beats him to it.

"he knows," hendery lifts his head, "kun knows, he's coming soon, i- i'm so sorry ten-_ ge, _ i'm so sorry, he- he made me- i didn't- he told me to- to-" his voice breaks off into more sobs, and ten's blood runs cold.

_ he knows. he knows. he knows _.

for once, ten doesn't reach out to comfort him. he doesn't wipe his tears away with gentle hands, or run his fingers through his hair. all he can think is _ he knows _.

_ he's coming soon _.

"how soon?" ten demands, his voice icy. hendery mumbles something nearly indistinguishable, teary-eyed. ten reaches out and grabs the front of his jacket, giving him a shake, "how _ fucking soon _, hendery?"

"i don't know!" hendery wails, "he told me he'd be- he'd be boarding his plane in- in an hour!"

ten lets go of hendery's jacket and the boy slumps back against the brick wall behind him, still crying.

_ he knows. he's coming _.

ten stumbles to his feet, hands patting at the pockets in his joggers to find his phone _ i have to tell johnny, i have to let him know _-

his phone isn't in any of his pockets.

ten freezes, wracking his mind for the last place he had it until-

he sees the image of his phone sitting on his bathroom counter, clear as day.

_ fuck _.

ten doesn't even bother hendery with a goodbye, already on his way out of the alleyway.

he hears hendery sob an apology behind him, but he doesn't answer.

he has to get home, _ now _.

by the time ten reaches his apartment, he's drenched and breathless, tracking water all the way down the hall to his unit.

once he reaches the door, ten extends his hand to twist the doorknob, but the door slides open at the first touch. 

ten freezes, eyes narrowing at the doorframe; the wood is splintered around the lock. kicked in.

hesitantly, ten pushes the door open further, expecting the state of the apartment to match that of the lock.

but the scene that greets him is nothing out of the ordinary.

the lights are off, all the furniture the same as ten left it, no sounds aside from the thundering of the rain on the windowpanes.

the only thing different is the addition of someone silhouetted against the window, sitting at the kitchen island.

somehow, before ten even flicks on the lights, he knows who it is.

_ he knows. he's coming soon _.

ten shuts the door behind him as best he can, and tries not to flinch when the light he turns on reveals qian kun's cold, impassive face.

"you could've just knocked," ten says, before kun can greet him with his usual_ 'chittaphon'. _

kun shrugs with a jerk of his shoulders.

"nobody home," he replies dryly.

ten's eyes reflexively dart towards yukhei's room, wondering if that was really the case.

normally at this time, yukhei would be out in the living room, watching tv or playing games, but the living room was deserted aside from ten and kun.

"where's xuxi?" ten asks, trying his best not to let his fear lace into his words.

"out."

ten's hands shake by his sides.

kun rolls his eyes, "chittaphon, _ please _. he really is out, there was nobody here when i arrived."

ten inched forward, fighting the urge to either throw something or throw _ up _. kun always managed to make him feel like this; weak, frail, unable to fight back.

"you can check his room if you want to," kun offers, as if it's some kind of gesture of kindness, "really. why would i have any reason to hurt him?"

the unsaid _ 'unlike you' _hangs heavy in the silence between them.

goosebumps race up ten's arms and neck when kun moves, slow and calculated, sliding off of the kitchen stool and coming to a stop a few paces in front of ten.

"i thought you were still in shanghai," ten says stiffly. _ that's what hendery said _.

kun frowns, picking at one of his nails, disinterested.

"i thought i would pay a surprise visit. you know, see how things are going here."

ten couldn't help but sneer at the feigned ignorance. 

"oh, _ please _ ," he scoffs, "spare me the niceties. what do you _ want _, kun?"

"a little birdie named hendery told me that you have been spending lots of time with a certain mr. johnny seo," kun starts casually, "imagine my surprise when i hear what my little chittaphon has been doing behind my back, hm?"

ten clenches his jaw, stiffening. _ he knows, he knows _.

"although i should probably blame myself for that one," kun considers, "i should have known better than to put a _ whore _up to the job. tell me, ten, do you really love him? or is it just his-"

"shut up," ten hisses, nausea welling up again even though he's far from drunk.

at that, kun laughs. his laugh was the human equivalent of a blade dragging on concrete.

"oh, ten, you're too easy to read," kun says, "did you really think i didn't know where you were after that race? did you think i didn't have ways of knowing that you weren't out chasing those gunmen, but instead at mr. seo's private estate? did you think that you were _ safe?" _

ten's lips parted in surprise before he could stop them, and kun fixed him with an amused look.

"you should be grateful that hendery was in the hospital that day, unable to monitor you for me. i would have loved to see what you two were up to _ all day long _," kun ended his sentence with a lilting tone, almost sing-song. 

ten's stomach flipped inside him; he needed to sit down.

_ unable to monitor you for me... _

"hendery, he-" ten started, but kun cut across his words.

"hendery, hendery, the poor little thing," kun smiled as he recalled, "he really didn't want to do it, you know? he didn't want to betray his beloved _ ten-ge _."

ten's eye twitched slightly.

kun had begun to imitate hendery's voice, "please, please, kun-_ge _," he whimpered, "don't make me do this, please! don't make me do this to him!"

now ten had to force down the bile threatening to come up, fingernails digging into his own thighs as he restrained himself from trying to beat kun bloody.

"you're _ sick _," he spat at kun, unable to find any other word.

kun nodded like he agreed, "perhaps. hendery sure seemed to agree when i threatened to shoot him in both kneecaps." 

the image of hendery crying, holding the gun to ten's head, swam fresh in his memory.

evidently, ten had made a face reflective of his feelings, and kun chuckled.

"you know, ten, at first it wasn't going to be a problem," he mused, "i thought to myself, 'if he wants to fuck johnny seo, that's his business. i'm sure half of seoul wants the same thing'. i would have left it at that."

kun paused to let ten respond, but ten was too busy trying to ensure he wasn't about to grab a table lamp and smash it over kun's head.

"anyways," kun continues, "i really wasn't too concerned about it. but then, one night as poor, innocent hendery is relaying what he heard of your little walk by the han river, he says to me, '_kun-ge, ten-ge said that he wants to get out'. _"

ten shudders. hendery heard all of that? how much had he relayed to kun?

"and i think, well, that can't _ possibly _ mean what i think it means. _ my _ chittaphon would never."

"i'm not _ yours _," ten snaps, and kun laughs again.

"evidently not," he says, "as hendery told me you want to _ leave _ me."

there it is.

kun's words drop like a bombshell in the room. 

something in the air shifts with the minuscule change in kun's voice.

"chittaphon, i'm trying to imagine what could make you want to leave. i've treated you well, i've provided you with income, i've given you partners, brothers. i've been your _ friend _."

now it's ten's turn to laugh. it bursts out of him so suddenly it surprises him.

"a _ friend?" _ he asks, disbelieving, "surely you can't be so fucking _ deluded _ that you believe you've _ ever _ been my friend. you haven't treated me like a friend for _ years _."

kun has the audacity to look upset at that.

"co-workers then," he amends, "but i still don't understand why you'd want to leave."

ten can hardly believe his ears.

he doesn't even know how to respond to that.

kun takes a step forward, and it takes all the strength in ten's body not to instinctively step backwards.

"kun," ten takes a carefully measured breath, "kun-_ge _, i've been nothing but loyal to you all these years. why can't you just let me have this?"

the use of honorifics does nothing; kun merely arches an eyebrow.

"and let you out into the world, with all of the knowledge that you have? no, no i don't think so."

he takes another step forward.

"_ please _," ten tries, but kun raises his hand, and ten flinches silent again.

"chittaphon, you and i both know that i can't let you leave."

the words send ten's mind into overdrive.

he considers everything within his sight, seeing what he could possibly use as a weapon to defend himself, the heavy glass lamps, the knives in the kitchen, _ he should've taken hendery's gun dammit- _

suddenly, a sound breaks the quiet tension between the two of them. 

it takes ten a moment to realize what it is, and where its coming from.

both ten and kun jerk their heads towards the sound of ten's phone ringing from the bathroom.

ten doesn't have to see the phone to know who's calling. he recognizes the ringtone immediately.

_ johnny _.

kun turns back to face ten.

it's as if everything in the moment is suspended in that fraction of time; ten, eyes wide as he listens to his phone ring, staring at kun who's staring right back at him, both of them unflinching and unmoving.

just as suddenly as everything stopped, it started again, in what felt like double-time.

ten's phone rang seven times before he forced his body to move.

in an instant, he was barreling around the couch, towards the hallway, but kun got there first, blocking his path.

ten didn't hesitate, crashing into kun and pushing him straight back into the wall, planting his knee in kun's stomach.

kun let out a breath, and swiftly hit ten across the face three times before ten pushed back and out of his range.

if ten's fight with hendery had been a warm-up, this was the real deal. and kun would hold none of the qualms about killing ten that hendery did.

on a good day, ten was usually evenly matched with kun. 

ten hoped more than anything that this was a good day.

kun moved quickly, far quicker than hendery had, forcing ten to play defense as kun gave him no opening to throw a punch, only to block or parry.

it wasn't until ten ducked under kun's next punch that he was able to grab kun by the arm force him to the side, throwing him against one of the end tables where he crashed into the lamp; the glass shattered easily against the floor, kun landing among the pieces.

ten scrambled down the hallway to his room, not sparing a single glance behind him. he just had to get to his phone and let johnny know that kun was _ here _ and he was probably coming for him too.

right at the doorway of his bedroom, kun grabbed the collar of ten's shirt, wrenching him backwards and pushing him into the wall, hands at his throat. kun's face was far too calm for a man trying to strangle ten to death.

ten propped up a foot against the wall behind him, using it as leverage to shove kun back, digging his fingernails into kun's wrists as he did. kun let go with a soundless cry. the only sign he was in pain was the parting of his lips.

ten dodged kun's next punch by ducking to the side and into his bedroom; kun's fist smashed into the picture frame, dotting his hand with blood and glass shards.

in the few seconds it took for kun to extract his hand from the glass, ten had stumbled into his bathroom.

he only had a moment to catch the blood trickling from both nostrils in his reflection before kun appeared in the doorway. 

ten's fingers had just barely touched his phone enough for the screen to light up when kun slid his arms right under ten's shoulders, picking him up with relative ease and throwing him back down against the edge of the bathtub.

pain sparked through ten's ribs, as he cried out and pressed his hand instinctively to his side.

he couldn't even attempt to pick himself back up before kun was pulling him to his feet by his hair, hand clenched in ten's locks.

despite his side screaming in pain every time he moved, ten pushed forward, snaking a hand up to the side of kun's head. when he has a good grip, ten throws all his weight into bashing kun's head into the mirror.

immediately upon impact, cracks spiderweb out from the center of the mirror, and kun falls slightly against the sink, letting go of ten's hair in favor of propping himself up against the counter.

for the first time, ten has the upper hand. kun slumps there, dazed but conscious, blood trickling from somewhere above his hairline. 

ten lets out a shaky breath, backing away slightly. his phone is still sitting on the counter.

he reaches out, holds in his hand, and barely types one digit of his password before he feels a sharp pain in his stomach.

it happens so fast, ten barely registers it. 

one second, he's typing in his password, the next, he's stumbling backwards one hand wrapped around kun's where he holds the handle of the knife that's sunk into ten's abdomen.

the phone slips from his hand.

it takes forever to fall, or maybe already hit the ground and ten couldn't hear it, only able to process kun standing in front of him, gripping his arm, deathlike. 

his eyes are empty as he watches ten's gaze drop back down to the blood soaking into his shirt.

"you..." ten whispers, losing his grip on kun's hand, he's falling _ down, down, down _

kun lets ten collapse against the side of the tub, his expression unreadable. the knife is held loosely in his right hand, blood dripping from the blade all over the bathmat. 

ten presses his hand against the wound, fruitlessly attempting to stem the blood flow. his legs kick weakly in front of him. 

"kun-_ge _..." ten twitches in pain, his ribs, his stomach, his head...

kun regards ten for a moment. the blood dripping from his head starts to trickle over his eyebrow, down the bridge of his nose and his cheeks. his eyes are utterly devoid of feeling.

"i'm sorry it had to be this way, ten," kun says impassively, wiping the blade of the knife against his pants. 

"go-" ten grits out, teeth clenched, "go to _ hell _." he can feel his hands shaking, trembling. 

"i'll see you when i get there," kun answers with ease. 

ten can't muster up the strength to reply, only blinking hard to clear his rapidly clouding vision. 

kun turns to leave, but just before he's gone, he pauses in the doorway, glancing over his shoulder.

"while you wait, i think i might pay a little visit to that boyfriend of yours."

and then he's gone.

ten gasps quietly, tilting his head back.

he supposed that no matter how many times kun had threatened it, he really thought that kun wouldn't kill him.

maybe it was a little _ too _ naive of him to believe that.

look where that got him now.

ten turns his head to the side, vision tunneling with a bout of haziness ten assumed was coming from the blood loss. 

his head pressed against something soft behind him, and his eyebrows furrowed for a moment. he brought up a hand to feel behind him and-

bath towels. his bath towels hung from the bar on the wall. 

an idea, barely half-formed, shot through his head. 

_ if i can stem the flow of blood, stay conscious long enough, i can get a message to johnny. a warning _.

keeping one hand pressed hard against his wound, ten grips the towels, tugging them down until they come loose. he messily folds them so they're flat and presses them up against his abdomen, wincing when it sends a sharp sensation careening through his body.

"fuck..." he mutters, having to take a few deep breaths to get even a portion of his vision back.

somewhere by his side, ten's phone rang out, almost echoing in the bathroom.

_ johnny. _

ten searched blindly across the bathroom floor for his phone, bloody fingers trailing along the tiles until he could feel the screen under his fingertips. 

fumbling, ten managed to accept the call and put it on speaker before it became too hard to lift his hand up to his ear.

"ten? hello?" johnny spoke quickly, as if he'd been anxiously waiting for ten to pick up.

"hey," ten replied weakly, and he could hear johnny's relieved sigh on the other end.

"oh, good! i was getting worried when you didn't pick up the first time," johnny's voice was more casual now, "i just wanted to call and make sure that you got home okay."

something in ten's heart twinged. he thought of hendery.

"i-" his voice caught in his throat, "i did. listen, johnny..." ten clutched at the towels, pressing them harder against his wound, letting out a quiet groan as he did.

"ten, what is it?" johnny seemed to detect right away that something was wrong just by the sound, "are you okay? did something happen?"

ten inhaled sharply through his teeth; it was as if he could feel the blood soaking through each layer of towel. he didn't have a lot of time left.

"yeah, something- something happened," ten shut his eyes, leaning his head back and trying to force his words out through the pain, "kun. kun's here."

he can hear johnny take in a quick breath, then, "right now? at your place? hold on, i'm coming over."

"no!" ten shouts so suddenly that he winces in pain, "no, johnny, _don't_."

"_okay_," johnny says, voice frantic, "then what-"

"listen to me," ten interrupts, "i don't have a lot of time. you need to- need to get everybody out. you need- they're not safe, you're not safe. he's- he's coming. you need to get out."

he can't tell if there's a pause on the other line or if his hearing is fading in and out, everything is just so muted now. the colors of the bathroom, the sound of johnny's voice, his fingertips buzz on the edge of feeling and numbness. 

"- ten! _ten!_ are you there? hey! i'm coming over, _now_."

ten snaps back into awareness, barely able to register the sound of movement on the other line. johnny was getting ready to leave.

panic seized him by the throat as he tried again to say, "no, johnny- he's- he's already gone, you have to- you have..."

ten's voice faded into a pained sound; he couldn't tell if he was pressing the towels hard enough against his wound anymore.

he took a few breaths, deep as he could make them without passing out from pain, and finally spoke again.

"johnny, you need to listen to me," he said shakily, "get everybody out. get them safe. don't worry about me."

johnny was already objecting, but ten kept talking. he knew he needed every second he could get.

"johnny, i love you. thank you for- for everything," ten's voice caught in his throat, "and i- i'm sorry."

"no, no, no, ten don't- don't you dare-"

ten squeezed his eyes shut, tears dripping from the corners. not that it made any difference, anyways. his vision was completely dark.

"goodbye," ten breathed out, and the phone slipped from his fingers once more, clattering against the tile.

the sound was distanced and echoey.

_dying doesn't hurt as much as i thought it would__,_ ten thought hazily, fingers going slack against his stomach. 

the sound of his heartbeat filled his ears, overtaking everything around him.

and then, nothing.

**seoul national university hospital**

**four days later**

there's no other smell like the sterile scent of a hospital.

every now and then its punctuated by a fresh cup of mediocre coffee or a bouquet of hastily bought flowers, but that underlying odor of cleaning supplies and chemicals never really goes away.

ten always thought that it was one of the worst scents he'd ever had the misfortune of smelling.

but he had to admit to himself that he was relieved to smell it again, clawing out of a heavy sleep plagued by nightmares of blood-stained knives and gunmetal in the rain, only for the sight of the sterile white environment of a hospital room swim into his vision.

he felt light, hazy, as if he were floating above his body, tethered to this world only by the weight of something in his left hand.

the small movement of tilting his head to the side took infinitely more strength than it should've.

but the smile that quirked up the corners of his lips was near effortless when he saw a hand clasped loosely in his.

johnny was sitting in a visitors chair, pulled right up to the edge of his hospital bed so he could lay his head in his arms against it, one hand sticking out at an uncomfortable angle so that he could hold ten's hand in his own.

ten's lips parted to speak, to say johnny's name, to call out to him, but no sound came out.

it was already hard enough to stay awake.

_that's okay_, ten told himself, _he'll be here when you wake again._

ten tried to squeeze johnny's hand, but he only managed a weak twitch of his fingers.

it seemed to do the trick though, as johnny suddenly shifted, head tilting to the side as if suddenly woken up.

ten was already fading back into unconsciousness, but he still felt the way johnny's hand shifted, tightening it's grip around his, followed by a soft sigh.

_he knows i'm okay_, ten was able to reassure himself, and then he was asleep again.

ten woke the second time to significantly more pain, and to a significantly more empty hand than he had before.

extremely disgruntled by the latter observation, ten let out a quiet sound, his empty fingers curling slightly, bunching up the sheets in his fist.

as his vision began to clear with every blink, ten noticed someone standing by the door, watching something on their phone. 

ten tried to sit up to get a clearer view, but his stomach twinged in pain again and he sat back with a pained groan.

the person by the door turned their head, then-

"ten-_ge!"_

hendery ran to the side of ten's bed, clasping ten's hand in his when ten reached out for him, sitting down in the chair johnny had apparently vacated.

"hey, 'dery," ten muttered weakly, tightening his grip on hendery's hand and giving him a faint smile, "too smart to get killed, right?"

hendery promptly burst into tears.

it was hard for ten to understand what hendery was saying through his sobbing, but it seemed to be mostly repetitions of 'i'm sorry's and 'he made me's and 'i didn't want to's while tears streamed down his face and dripped onto their entwined hands.

"hey," ten tried, "hey, _hey_, hendery, stop."

it took a few times but eventually hendery's sobs dissolved into sniffles, and ten beckoned for hendery to come closer.

"listen," ten told him quietly, reaching up with his right hand to wipe away the tears on hendery's cheeks, "it's okay. kun kind of told me everything."

hendery wiped at his nose.

"that's even _worse_," he said miserably, "now you'll _really_ hate me."

ten had decided long ago that he would never, _ever_ hate hendery. this was no exception. in a way, he'd already forgiven hendery before he'd even left that alleyway. 

"no, hendery. kun told me _everything_. including that he threatened to shoot you if you didn't do what he said, right?"

hendery nodded, then sniffed violently. 

"so you know it wasn't your fault then, right? and that I could never hate you for what you did?"

hendery paused, as if ten was asking him some kind of trick question.

ten rolled his eyes slightly, and nodded, "right, hendery?"

after a moment's consideration, hendery nodded slowly.

"yeah..." he agreed quietly, and ten smiled.

"then come here?" ten pulled hendery forward so they could hug gingerly, making sure not to put too much stress on ten's wound.

speaking of...

once they pulled away and hendery sat back in the visitor's chair, ten swallowed thickly.

"so what... what happened? after i... you know."

hendery chewed at his bottom lip before answering.

"well, you know. mr. seo got there first, somehow. i don't really know, but i spent a lot of time in that alley thinking before i realized that i should've gone with you."

he paused, and ten raised his eyebrows, imploring. hendery gave a little sigh.

"when i got there i saw... well, you were kind of curled up against the tub, you know? there was blood... everywhere, and- well- it looked like you were... you know..."

hendery gestured vaguely, but ten understood.

"that bad?" he asked, and hendery nodded gravely.

"both mr. seo and i thought you were already- already gone, you know? he was on the ground, next to you, kind of just grabbing at the towels, it was like he didn't know what to do. he was crying and calling your name over and over again."

the image appeared in ten's head, despite him trying his hardest not to imagine it.

"god..." he whispered, thinking about johnny sitting by his bedside.

"i just stood in the doorway for a moment," hendery continued, "i was just kind of stunned. i didn't really know what to do either. so i just... stood there, frozen. but that was when i realized- i saw- you were still breathing. your chest was still moving. just barely hanging on."

ten's breath caught in his throat.

"it took a second for mr. seo to realize what i was saying when i pointed it out. i told him you were still breathing, that we maybe still had time to get you to the hospital. and it was like a switch flipped, suddenly- suddenly he was picking you up, telling me to grab more towels, it was kind of scary. you were so pale and limp that i thought for sure that- that-"

ten gave hendery's hand a reassuring squeeze, and hendery sighed.

"his car was already outside, running. he told me to get in and drive to the nearest hospital and- he got you in the back, kind of just laying in his lap, and he kept telling you to hang in there, to keep fighting, to just hold on for a little bit longer until we could get you to an emergency room. it was raining like hell too, i could hardly see out of the windshield."

"anyways," hendery swallowed, ducking his head, "we got to the emergency room and mr. seo carried you in- there was blood just- just _everywhere_. all over you and him and the towels, it was dripping all over the tile and mr. seo was just yelling for help while he held you. i... i tried to call for nurse yuqi, but my voice wouldn't work, it was the same as when i found you, it was like- like i couldn't move. like i was just frozen by the fear that you wouldn't... make it."

"and what happened after that?" ten prompted softly.

hendery's expression tightened.

"well, right away these doctors and nurses rushed over, rolling out one of those tables to set you on, asking mr. seo what happened, and he just kept saying 'i don't know, i just found him like this, i don't know'. he was still crying, i think. he- he tried to go with you but they wouldn't let him through, you know, in the back. he kept holding your hand all the way up until they pushed you through the doors, and he just- he stood there for a moment. i don't even know how long, just- just crying."

"eventually i got him to sit down in the waiting room, but he wouldn't say anything. he just sat there with his head in his hands, and he kept crying, really quietly, but i could still hear. i- i tried to convince him to go home and change, to wash all the blood off, but he said he wouldn't leave until he knew you were okay."

ten had to blink a few times to keep himself from tearing up, eyes stinging. _of course johnny would've.._.

"i made a couple of calls after that," hendery continued, "while you were in surgery, i guess. i told yukhei and the rest about what happened, and they, well, i guess you can see-"

hendery motioned to the table beside ten's bed, the one meant for hospital gifts and bouquets. 

and gifts and bouquets there were. 

apparently yukhei and the rest had all brought flowers, cards, and what looked like an already-opened box of chocolates.

hendery caught ten's gaze and stifled a laugh before saying, "unfortunately, yangyang got to your chocolates before you could. he said that the hospital probably wouldn't let you eat them anyways, so it wasn't like you'd miss them."

ten managed a quiet laugh that only slightly hurt.

"yeah, that sounds like him."

there was a pause as ten surveyed all of the cards and flowers, then hendery continued.

"after a few hours and a couple of calls, nearly everybody was in the waiting room with us. I guess some of mr. seo's people came too. lee taeyong brought him some clothes so he could change into something not covered in... blood. everyone was so restless, waiting for news. it felt like an eternity, you know? not knowing if you were going to be okay or not. i was... ten-_ge, _i was so scared we were going to lose you."

"but you didn't," ten stressed, before hendery could start crying again, "i'm right here. i'm alive. here, feel."

he took hendery's hand and pressed his fingers against his own pulse, so hendery could feel his heartbeat beneath his fingertips. 

hendery nodded again, taking a few shaky breaths until he could speak again.

"well, eventually a doctor came out and walked over to us, our whole group, you know. he was talking with mr. seo and i couldn't really hear much until he started asking when we could visit you. that was when i knew you had made it through."

"how long was i out?" ten asked.

"three days," hendery answered, "four if you count your surgery. the doctor said that you were really lucky, and that the knife didn't seriously damage any of your major organs, but that you would be out of commission for a while. he said you might not wake up for a few days, which really stressed out mr. seo. he visited you every single day, you know? he barely left your bedside."

ten's smiled softly. _of course he did_.

"where- where is he now?" ten could still feel the echo of johnny's hand holding his, "is he still here?"

hendery made a quiet _tch_ sound, rolling his eyes, "as if we could ever get him to leave. i think he's downstairs getting coffee, i'll go get him and let him know you've woken up."

hendery stood up to leave the room, but ten quickly grabbed his hand before he could get very far.

"hey, 'dery, wait a second," ten called, pulling hendery back to the visitor's chair, "can you do me a favor?"

confused, hendery furrowed his brow.

"yeah, of course. anything you need, ten-_ge_."

"come here," ten pulled hendery closer until he could whisper something in the younger boy's ear.

hendery pulled back slightly, "i can do that, but why-?"

"just- please," ten pleaded, "it's easier if i don't tell you."

hendery's expression steadied. 

"okay. should i text you when i've got it?"

"yeah," ten said, "yes please. you can go ahead and bring it to me right here. and be careful, okay? it could be dangerous."

"you got it."

hendery turned to leave again, only stopping in the doorway to look back at ten once more.

"i love you, 'dery," ten called, "don't forget that, okay?"

hendery smiled, bright and genuine.

"love you too, ten-_ge_."

ten only had to wait a few minutes for johnny to appear in the doorway of his hospital room.

"_ten!"_ johnny cried out, practically bounding over to his bedside, "you're awake!"

"yeah, finally," ten answered, smiling, reaching out to let johnny take his hand, fingers interlocking. 

johnny sat in the visitor's chair, rubbing his thumb back and forth across ten's skin.

"how do you feel?" 

ten considers that for a moment, then-

"like i got stabbed."

the look on johnny's face forces a laugh out of ten, but he clutches as his stomach a moment after, which ruins the effect.

"ten, please-" johnny starts, eyebrows furrowed.

"yeah, yeah, i know," ten waves it away, "sorry. i'm sorry for making you worry. i'm okay, i promise."

johnny sighs, "no, don't- don't apologize. if anything, i'm the one who should be apologizing."

ten gives johnny an incredulous look, "_you?_ but i-"

"i should've just listened to you in the first place. about leaving."

ten arches an eyebrow. so they're having this conversation right _now?_

"the way i reacted was stupid and immature," johnny continued, "i was too terrified of the idea of such a big change that i didn't even want to consider if it was possible."

"johnny, i-"

"it _is_ possible ten. i want to make it possible. with you."

ten's eyes widen. johnny gives his hand a soft squeeze. 

"i can't believe it took me almost losing you to realize, but i've been doing a lot of thinking over these last few days, and-"

"are you being serious right now?" ten interrupts, "one hundred-percent?"

johnny furrows his brow, then nods, "yeah, of course i-"

ten pulls johnny into a kiss without a second thought.

johnny sinks into it easily, leaning over the side of ten's bed to press closer, hands placed gently with one on the bed and the other cupping ten's cheek, ever so careful. 

it's a soft kiss, no tongues or bites interrupting the unhurried meeting of their lips, just- comfort. relief. everything that johnny is to ten and more.

they part with their foreheads still pressed together, soaking in the moment. _we're here, we're safe_.

then, "how are we going to get out, ten? i mean, with kun and all..."

ten takes a deep breath, letting it all out in a sigh, thinking of the favor he asked of hendery.

"i have an idea."

there's a pause as johnny watches with waiting eyes.

"and i don't think you're going to like it."

johnny in fact didn't like the idea, which was unsurprising to ten.

after all, trying to arrange a meeting in your own hospital room with the very person who put you there was a concept that would be hard to grasp for some.

it had taken more than a day to convince johnny to allow it.

"no. no fucking way, ten! there's no way i would even let him within twenty feet of you, much less the _same room-"_

"johnny, i know it sounds crazy-"

"-because it _is_ crazy-"

"- but it's our best chance! what other options do we have?"

that had shut johnny up, and eventually he had agreed with lots of grumbling under his breath.

ten had to admit he couldn't blame him. the plan could fall apart in a number of ways, barely held together ideas hastily gathered within moments of ten being conscious. 

the idea was this: they would hold a meeting, in ten's hospital room (he still wasn't allowed to be discharged yet), with johnny, kun, and taeyong. it had been something ten had pondered here and there, but never taken seriously until now. kun and johnny had been on opposing sides for so long in a power-struggle. neither mafias gaining the upper-hand, only gaining more and more casualties. 

so, the solution seemed simple. 

combine forces, combine power. the power-struggle would be eliminated if they controlled the streets _together_.

it was a stretch, especially with kun's hunger to always be top dog, but if ten could argue it right, there was a chance it could work. 

if it didn't...

ten didn't want to think about it. 

it had to work. 

the day of, ten could feel an anxious energy thrumming through his veins.

johnny sat next to him, holding his hand comfortingly. ten wasn't sure if it was more for his or johnny's comfort. 

it was quiet in the room.

taeyong sat across the room, eyeing their interlaced hands with an expression ten couldn't possibly place. it was a mix between his usual bare expression and something like... warmth? 

that made no sense to ten, so he shrugged it off.

thankfully, the sound of the door opening directed everyone's attention to the entrance.

"xuxi," ten greeted him, "news?"

yukhei nodded, phone clasped in one hand.

"just got off the phone with him. he said he would be here in around fifteen minutes."

ten took in a sharp breath, his anxiety increasing ten-fold. 

johnny squeezed his hand slightly, giving him an encouraging look. 

ten nodded slightly, more so to rally himself. 

"okay. thank you, xuxi."

"of course," yukhei replied, but his voice sounded worried. "are you going to be okay? are you sure you don't want me here with you?"

"i'm sure, xuxi, thank you. we'll be okay."

yukhei hesitated, then ducked out of the room again.

normally, ten would have appreciated the extra help and support, but he didn't want to get yukhei wrapped up in his plan unless he was one-hundred percent sure it would work. he didn't want to chance anybody else getting hurt because of his choices.

instead, he tried to focus on the comforting weight of johnny's hand in his, leaning back in his hospital bed to wait for kun's arrival.

_this has to work_, ten told himself, _we have no other choice._

the only other choice was kun disagreeing, and killing ten, johnny, and the people they loved. not preferable, ten had to be honest.

the last image ten had seen of kun was burned into his memory. 

kun's figure looming over him, the knife in his hand, the blood dripping down his face. it was unnerving how calm his expression had been.

there was no telling how kun would react to seeing ten, alive and mostly well in his hospital bed, after he'd tried to kill him. he'd almost succeeded. 

ten had to wonder why kun hadn't come back to finish the job, or at least stabbed him a few extra times to really made sure he'd died. it sounded macabre, but kun was never to type to half-ass things. if he wanted someone dead, there was no way for them to escape their fate.

which is why ten was slightly confused that he was still alive. part of him wanted to think that maybe there was some part of kun, however minuscule it was, that possibly still cared about ten? it wasn't very likely, but still... there weren't many other explanations ten could think of.

it was that tiny sliver of hope that made ten think that maybe the plan could still work. just maybe.

the minutes seemed to bleed into hours as they waited. ten tried to keep his eyes off of the clock on the wall, but with johnny constantly checking the time on his phone, and taeyong tapping his shoes against the tiled floors, looking slightly bored, there weren't many other places to look.

ten was so used to the quiet that he startled in his bed when the door slid open, revealing yukhei's nervous face.

"kun-_ge_ is here," he spoke quietly, and stepped to the side. 

ten thought that by now he should've been accustomed to the feeling of his heart crawling into his throat whenever he saw kun, yet he physically flinched regardless.

kun stepped into the room, his smaller frame still occupying the room with the malicious energy he put out.

he didn't greet ten with the usual condescending sneer of his name, instead choosing to regard everybody in the room with an unreadable gaze. ten had to make an effort to stop his fingers from trembling in johnny's hand.

_it's going to be okay_, he steeled himself, _just talk about what he came here for. don't show any weakness. _

"kun-_ge_," he started, "why don't you pull up a chair and we can get started?"

kun's mouth twitched minutely, as if he wanted to object and had decided not to in the span of a millisecond. then, he tugged the last visitor's chair from the opposite wall and pulled it forward to take a seat. 

"so," he spoke icily, crossing his legs, "yukhei told me that you had a... _proposition_ to make."

there was a pause, so ten answered, "yes. i've worked out something that i think might-"

"_tell me_," kun interrupted, his voice pointed, "why i should listen to a single word that comes out of your mouth, and not simply kill you where you sit?"

johnny made a sound like a laugh mixed with a hiss, a sharp _tch!, _before saying, "you wouldn't make it one _step_ towards him, qian kun."

kun fixed him with a bemused look, as if he were some kind of mildly entertaining animal.

"ah, mr. seo. i so have been looking forward to a meeting with you. i'm a little underwhelmed, to be honest. thought you would be more-" kun gave a little wave of his hand, "-intimidating. so far all i'm seeing is a dog on a leash."

johnny's back stiffened, but ten gave his hand a tight squeeze to tell him to calm down. sadly, ten was all too familiar with kun's ability to make a person feel small with only his words. johnny hadn't had to displeasure of a conversation with him yet, and now he was experiencing it firsthand. 

"kun, _enough_," ten snapped, "we're here to talk business. there's no need for your superiority complex here."

kun's eyes widened ever-oh-slightly. then, his lips split in a bright grin.

"oh, look at _that_. you get stabbed once, and suddenly you gain a shred of bravery, don't you? impressive, chittaphon, i must say."

even taeyong breaks a smile at that, but johnny shoots him a glare and taeyong rolls his eyes.

"yeah, sure," ten snarls, "bravery. i'd like to call it self-respect, but you can call it whatever you want."

kun chuckles, "either way. tell me, with this newfound bravery, chittaphon, what's your _proposition?"_

ten glances over at johnny, then back to kun, taking a deep breath.

"we would like to suggest working together. as in, combining our forces. there would still be separations, of course, but-"

"chittaphon," kun interrupts again, "i've put up with a lot-"

"i'm not finished speaking," ten spoke calmly, and kun went quiet, probably out of pure shock that ten had retaliated like that, but he was sick and tired of kun trying to walk all over him.

"as i was _saying_," ten continued, "there would be separations. branches, in each area of control. obviously, you would lead the branch in shanghai. taeyong would lead the branch in seoul. it wouldn't really be hard to find people for the other branches. but although there are branches, it would still be all the same mafia. if we all work together, then there would be less skirmishes, less battles over land control, and less deaths on both sides. it really is a win-win situation."

after a prolonged silence, the proposition hanging in the air, kun sits forward, resting his elbows on his knees. 

"say, hypothetically, i do agree to this proposition. what's in it for you, chittaphon? what do you and mr. seo here get out of all of this?"

ten smiles coldly.

"you let us go. both of us. we're free to go anywhere, or do anything. you will never harm either of us again."

kun lets out a laugh, laced with disbelief.

"chittaphon, i think all of that blood loss did something to your brain. you expect me to take a deal that gets me _demoted_, and lets you go, unharmed? that really doesn't sound like win-win to me."

"not demoted," ten replied, "and technically, not unharmed either. i've still got the stitches in."

the energy in the room turns tense, stagnant. kun seems keen on keeping up a staring contest with ten, who readily obliges.

_we're so close_, ten thinks, _if i can just get kun to agree..._

"let me speak to ten alone, and i will consider."

"fine," ten answers quickly, and johnny startles. 

"what?!" he demands, "no, no way. ten, i'm not leaving you alone with him."

"aw, how cute," kun purrs, sickly sweet, "the over-protective boyfriend act never gets old."

johnny turns his glare on kun.

"i don't think it's 'over-protective' to not want to leave him alone with the man who _stabbed_ him."

"why, because you think i'll try and finish the job? maybe stick him in the heart this time?"

taeyong covers his smile with the back of his hand, which seems to rile johnny up even more.

"why would i ever think you _wouldn't? _they way he talks about you sometimes, i'm actually surprised that you-"

"okay _enough!"_ ten shouts, "everybody just _shut up!"_

to his amazement, kun and johnny stop arguing and look at him.

the strain of shouting has ten clutching at the bandage over his stomach, but he grits his teeth through it and says, "_thank_ you. johnny, taeyong, if you would please give me and kun a moment?"

taeyong shrugs, already out of his chair, but johnny hesitates, still holding onto ten's hand.

"ten..." he says lowly, eyes pleading.

ten furrows his brow, slightly pained that he has to convince johnny to leave.

they _need_ this to work. and if that means meeting with kun alone, then so be it. it's already nerve-racking for ten as is, but for johnny...

knowing that _he_ was the one who found ten first, bloody and pale and half-dead, ten can't say that he blames Johnny for being apprehensive about leaving him alone with kun.

"johnny, please..." ten shifts his hand so their fingers are interlaced, "it's okay. i'll be fine. don't worry about me."

exhaling softly, johnny brings the back of ten's hand up to his lips, "how could i not? i almost lost you once, and i don't want to risk it again."

"i know, but i need you to be able to trust me on this, okay? i promise it'll be fine."

johnny shoots an apprehensive glance at kun, "are you sure?"

"i'm positive."

there's a prolonged moment of silence, interrupted only by the ticking of the clock on the wall, before johnny sighs, admitting defeat.

he ducks his head, pressing a soft kiss against ten's cheek before saying, "just... just let me know when you're done. we'll be right outside."

"thank you," ten replies softly, watching taeyong and johnny file through the door, shutting it quietly behind them.

once ten and kun are alone in the room, kun sneers.

"what a charming display of affection. i almost gagged."

"i'm sorry you can't fathom being loved," ten spits out before he can stop himself. he quickly shuts his mouth, but the damage is done.

in an instant, kun is out of his chair and leaning over the bed, one hand against ten's throat and the other gripping the hilt of a knife; the same knife from the other night, the point just barely pressed into ten's skin, right above the artery. 

"i would watch your tone, _chittaphon_," kun seethed, and ten instinctively leaned away. the knife-point followed the movement. "there's not a single reason that i shouldn't slit your throat right here."

swallowing heavily against the weight of kun's palm, ten managed to say, "ten."

kun faltered slightly, the bite of the knife blade against his neck lessened slightly.

"what?" he demanded.

"ten," ten repeated, "not chittaphon. earlier. you called me ten."

confusion clouds kun's eyes, his eyebrows furrowing.

but within moments, kun's expression hardens again, and he tightens his grip around ten's throat, pressing the knife harder into his skin.

"whatever," he snaps, "it's not like it matters anyways."

ten winces at the sting, and his hands come up instinctively to wrap around kun's wrists, imploring.

"kun, _please_," ten has to whisper; kun is pressing down on his throat a little too hard to be able to speak normally, "we were friends, kun-_ge_."

"that's not what you said at your apartment," kun snarls, and ten feels a bead of blood start to bubble up from the knife, "you said we were never friends, chittaphon."

"i was _angry_," ten admits, clutching at kun's wrists, "and i wasn't thinking right, kun-_ge_, please. we were friends. we _were_. in the beginning."

kun's face contorts, the bead of blood begins to drip down ten's neck, "and now we're not? because, what, i was _a little too mean_ to you? that's _pathetic_."

ten's vision blurs around the edges.

"no, kun, you were _abusive_," he manages, hands shaking with the effort of holding off kun's, "all these years i was nothing but loyal to you, i stayed by your side through everything. why- why can't you just give me this?"

"you _know_ why," kun says, hands shaking too, "lying to me, leaving me-"

ten takes a shuddering breath, "kun-_ge_, surely you understand why- surely there's some- some part of you that still- that still _cares_ about me, even a little bit- please, kun-_ge_, let me have- have this- please-"

"you _know_ i can't do that, ten," kun bites out. he blinks, hard, and ten realizes that his eyes are red and shiny; trying not to tear up.

_bingo_.

"fine," ten says, relaxing his expression, "then maybe this will convince you."

kun falters again as ten lets his wrist go and reaches under his pillow for something.

"what- what's that?" kun demands, staring at the sleek flashdrive pinched between ten's fingers.

ten politely pushes kun's hands away from him and wipes the blood from his neck before responding, "oh, just a little collection of information i've decided to copy and store just in case i ever needed a little help getting out."

kun's eyes widen, staring at the flashdrive, "that's-"

"yep, just about all the information the police have ever _dreamed_ about getting their hands on, with a few exceptions, of course."

ten smirks at kun's expression; he thinks he might need to save that blood-drained look in case he ever needed a good laugh in the future.

then, it seems as if kun steadies himself.

"what's stopping me from killing you right now and taking the drive?" kun asks, the corner of his lip drawn up in a sinister grin, "what then?"

ten laughs, shaking his head.

"well, for one, you would be dead before you even left the room. johnny would make sure of that. secondly, do you really think i'm so stupid and incompetent that i don't know to always make backups? the second you kill me is the second a certain someone is making a call to the shanghai police saying that they have _crucial_ information regarding qian kun and his mafia."

"how-" kun starts, but then recognition sets in immediately, "hendery."

ten nods, smiling amiably, "i guess we know where his true loyalties lie, huh?"

"i suppose so," kun amends, somehow calmer now with ten's revelation. 

he sits back in the visitor's chair by the bed, eyeing the flashdrive with distaste.

"so?" ten asks, giving the flashdrive a little shake, "what will it be? the ball is in your court."

kun stows away his knife and folds his hands together civilly, as if he wasn't just trying to kill ten mere moments ago.

he hums in thought, then fixes ten with a rather business-like gaze. 

"it seems as if there isn't particularly any way around it, is there?"

ten shakes his head, "doesn't appear to be, no."

kun nods, thinking. then, he gives one final jerk of his head, as if he's decided.

"well, lets get this over with, then."

in the end, it's ten calling johnny and taeyong back into the room.

johnny eyes the redness of ten's neck suspiciously (thank god it stopped bleeding rather quickly), and returns to his side, linking their fingers together yet again.

taeyong and kun formally introduce themselves to each other with a handshake and a promise of setting up another meeting soon, this time with "my boyfriend, jaehyun. he'll be an important part of the process."

ten raises his eyebrows at johnny, who simply shrugs.

taeyong agrees to see kun out, but kun pauses in the doorway, looking back at ten as if he wanted to say something before he left.

_will i be seeing you again?_

_pleasure doing business with you?_

_i'm sorry for everything?_

in the end, it's none of these. kun gives ten a curt nod, and follows taeyong from the room silently.

along with him, all of the tension in the room seems to seep out, and ten leans against johnny limply.

"it worked," he says breathlessly, tucking his face into johnny's chest, "i can't believe it. it _worked_."

johnny wraps his arms around ten, holding him close and pressing a kiss into the crown of his head.

"we're free," johnny affirms, "we can get out. we can go anywhere."

ten gasps in realization, looking up to see johnny gazing softly back at him.

"anywhere?"

johnny grins, bright and genuine, and kisses ten gently, tilting his face up by the chin.

his lips are warm and full, and everything ten loves (even the coffee taste).

"anywhere," johnny answers when they part, "where do you want to go first?"

ten lets out a quiet breath and says, "wherever we go, as long as it's with you, i'll be happy."

**sydney, nsw, australia**

**three years later**

**7:34 am**

sunlight streams through the windows, casting a lovely orange glow over the kitchen when ten enters.

he's yawning, rubbing at his eye with the heel of his palm to try and get the last bit of sleep out of it, but still functional enough to locate the coffee machines on the counter.

he's far too familiar with the layout of the kitchen by now. 

still stifling a yawn, ten starts prepping the coffee; electronic maker for him, some fancy glass and metal pour-over drip coffee contraption for johnny.

he had to be honest, he didn't quite see the appeal of it; it took much longer than the electronic coffee maker, but johnny loved it, and it had been an anniversary gift, so ten was committed to learning everything he could about it.

before long, the comforting scent of coffee filled the kitchen.

while the coffee brewed, ten traipsed into the living room, flicking the tv on to the morning news.

there wasn't anything particularly intriguing happening in the city though, so ten wandered back into the kitchen, the newscaster's voice fading into the background.

ten pulled the box of cat food out from under the sink, topping off the bowl for chai (wherever she was, probably curled up in the sheets of the guest bed somewhere) and refilling her water, too.

once the coffee was finished, ten poured himself a mug (the mug itself was an ugly thing. the only reason they had it was they'd been at a thrift store and looking at it had made ten laugh so loud johnny pledged to buy it) and stepped out onto the balcony to soak in the early morning sunlight.

the night's chill was wearing off quickly, something that ten, clad only in a white tee and a pair of johnny's sleep shorts, was immensely grateful for.

as ten took a small sip of his coffee, bitter and warm, his attention drifted to his hand resting on the balcony railing.

lifting his left hand, ten held it out in front of him to admire the way the sunlight caught on the narrow silver band nestled on his ring finger.

even just looking at it brought a smile to his face.

"you know, you're not supposed to wear those to bed," johnny's voice came from behind him, quickly followed by an arm wrapped around his waist, the other reaching up to link their fingers together, silver bands clinking together.

ten suppressed a quiet laugh, "i didn't. and besides, says who?"

johnny pressed his face into the crook of ten's neck, so his words were muffled when he replied, "i don't know, someone on the internet."

ten giggled, ticklish, and said, "i'm pretty sure that's for rings with jewels on them, babe."

"hmm," johnny hums, "yeah i guess that makes sense."

ten snickered, which quickly turned into a shriek when johnny blew a raspberry on the side of his neck, and ten dissolved into more laughter before he managed to turn around in johnny's arms and distract him with a kiss.

it was an easy defeat, as always, and johnny sank into the kiss like a man thrown overboard, hands gently holding ten by the waist.

they stayed like that for a moment, kissing softly, serenaded by the sounds of the city.

once they parted, johnny pressed a quick peck to ten's forehead and whispered, "you look so beautiful, i can't believe how lucky i am."

ten held up their interlaced hands, admiring bands adorning their ring fingers.

"i think i'm luckier," he replied, looking up at johnny.

"impossible," johnny smiled softly, pressing his lips to ten's ring finger.

around them, the city woke to another day.

**fin.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't possible express how grateful i am for all of the love and support on this fic. all of the hits, kudos, and especially comments make me happier than i could ever say.
> 
> this au is basically my baby, and it feels a little bittersweet to know it's done, but i hope you all enjoyed it and i can't wait to embark on more writing adventures soon!!
> 
> (mayhaps i shall write some wangxian? possibly? i don't know if i could ever do them justice with my writing but cql basically hijacked my life in january and its still going strong)
> 
> N E WAYS. thank you all so much, and don't be afraid to reach out to me via my twitter @daegushoya !

**Author's Note:**

> i hope y'all enjoyed this first chapter! i am BEYOND psyched to be able to share this with all of you, so leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed!!
> 
> every single kudos and comment mean so so so much to me :')


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